Star-Crossed Love

She's gone. She's really gone.

Umi... I never got the chance to tell you... I love... you...r singing.

Yuzu tells me she's gone to a decent place. Gotchi Island - that's where Yuzu last was before coming here to Gensokyo Island, wasn't it? So I can check the customs office for the island's details. Yes, yes, I'll do that...

I mean, according to the records the cargo boat left, Gotchi Island's owner has, um, not solved any new problems at all since Yuzu arrived. But he or she has dealt with over ten travellers! Whether they actually left alive or not, I can't know, but if Yuzu survived there, then I'm sure Umi will, too, isn't that right? Yes, I know she can do it, I believe in her. I know it!

....Argh! That's the first stages of grief, isn't it? Denial? What's next? Pretending that she's gone to a 'better place', that we never ever met at all, that I'm totally okay... and then I dash my head out against the lamp-post. I might as well cut straight to the end point, shouldn't I?

Yuzu... don't smirk at me like that. You're... gonna watch me kill myself with that grin on your face, aren't you? I... I won't give you that satisfaction. I'll live. I'll live for Umi. We'll meet again, one day, in a better place. Yes, we will! I...

... is that a rock you've got with you? With a bloodstain on it? Is that... my blood? What the hell are you doing!!!.....

The aftermath of Umi's disappearance. Not shown - a long long trail of travellers yet to get to the port.

... um, yes. It's me. As tempting as it would be to have a corpse handy to attract tasty rats, I'd have a little difficult explaining the extra set of boys' clothing. So, unfortunately I had to discourage Hito from his suicide attempt. Whether he was actually going to follow through with it or not.

Love sure is a nasty little thing, isn't it? It can drive people to the pinnacle of madness, send them spiralling into the darkest depths. Hehe... me? I prefer to call it, shall we say, 'concern for the general well-being of those in the immediate vicinity'. I like to take it upon myself to do what needs to be done so others can understand 'love' a little better and learn to deal with it in a sensible manner.

Why, take for example the cae of Rin Kaenbyou and Kikuchiyo Kanbei, two residents from the sixth level of Mii Apartments here on Gensokyo Island. Although the two had been 'induced' into a relationship by another resident who clearly sought to manipulate them for fun and laughter, even the normally dotty, semi-senile Kanbei was starting to realise the crazy and hyperactive Orin wasn't really the type of girl for him. And yet Orin seemed to love Kanbei very much, perhaps for the sheer amount of rings she could run around him both physically and psychologically.

In other words, Orin was crazy in love with Kanbei, but Kanbei was starting to detest Orin. Then today Orin proposed to him.

Marriages are happy and all but really, Miis shouldn't accept if their opinion of the proposing party is too low. Minigame be damned.

The dolt accepted, blissfully agreeing to chain himself in the bonds of matrimony, completely forgetting his previous concerns about his partner's erratic mental stability. Perhaps Okuu's Look-alike had a part to play as well, always being eager to help the residents of Gensokyo Island on whatever course they choose no matter how stupid and self-destructive.

That, of course, doesn't really excuse the other horrible things Okuu's Look-alike does on her own initiative, supposedly out of 'love' for the residents. Just today, she finally gave in and invited Shanghai'ed (pardon the pun) some defenceless sap into becoming a new resident of Gensokyo Island. Okuu's Look-alike then proceeded to use this individual as a guinea pig, or more accurately a testing rabbit for all sorts of personality-modifying drugs, before utilising the test results to minutely tweak the attitudes of some pre-existing residents.

"All this testing is to ensure a balanced mix of personalities, of course," Okuu's Look-alike claimed, "and besides that's what Reisen's boss always uses her for." Yes, please welcome the newest resident of Gensokyo Island, the hapless little bunny only good for her sex appeal, Reisen Udongein Inaba.

 I'm truly surprised, and delighted, that her entire name exactly fits into the entry box.

Ah, yes. But back to the topic. Love is a really fickle thing, isn't it? Okuu's Look-alike's love for the helpless inhabitants of her island has driven her to take such drastic and outrageous measures. Heh, perhaps the two of us are rather alike, no?

But the most irksome sort of love is one that can't decide what it is. A love that is neither directed an a single target, nor seeking to spread itself universally among all it can reach. Yes, love torn between two (or more!) objectives is a frightful abomination, deadly to itself and others. It should be strangled as a bud ere it ensnare others and drag them into its maw, suffocating together in an asphyxiated mass.

Oh, sorry, please excuse me. I was distracted by the thoughts of asphyxiation and love. What I meant to say is you really shouldn't be loving two people at once. It's bad.

The targets were Ken Izumi and Tadakichi Mihama. So what if there's an obvious choice of a bachelor? Put your heart into it!

With that being said, if you're going to love someone, it's best that you focus all of your energy on that one person. Yes, just one target, upon which you'll concentrate all your attention, devote all your energy, and you'll never ever let them ignore you, never let them escape, never, ever, ever let them even see anyone else besides you... and your love.

Oh, that sounds a little obsessive? Perverse, even? Well, yes, I suppose that's right, and that's why I hesitate to call my, shall we say, 'concern' for anything as 'love'. As a point of reference, I'd like to direct you instead to a certain individual whose every waking moment is devoted to the pursuit of just one person. 

Aye, regardless of the barriers of age, gender, the presence of spouses on either side... Please allow me to direct you to today's showcased resident - Alice Margatroid.

Alice Margatroid

All information correct as of 5 February 2015

 I'd like to get to know Marisa better... in bed. Maybe we could travel together... in bed.

Name: Alice Margatroid

Nickname: Alice (pronounced 'The Doll Maniac')

Date of Birth: 21st November 1998

Personality: Independent Artist

Favourite Colour: Light Blue

Quotation: "7-colored magic!"

Alice Margatroid is the Stage 3 Boss character of Touhou 5: Mystic Square and the Stage 3 Boss character of Touhou 7: Perfect Cherry Blossom. She also appears as an ally in several other of the main series games, and is a playable character and possible opponent in the fighting games. Alice is a youkai magician who specialises in the manipulation of dolls, who is possibly formerly a human. She also possesses a special grimoire which is believed to contain her most powerful magic.

Canonically, Alice is a somewhat aloof, enigmatic magician with a sort of friendly rivalry with Marisa Kirisame, the main character who is a witch. In fandom, however... let's just say that her persuasions have been depicted as perversions of epic levels, most specifically her fascination with dolls and her tenuous relationship with Marisa. So... guess which side of her is depicted on Gensokyo Island? Actual Alice fans might like to stop reading here...

In truth, bearing in mind that having both characters of the same gender would make it impossible to have a romantic relationship (no discussion please), I originally modeled Alice's character after her interpretation from Mystic Square. That is to say, a sort of an aggressive, creepy child who's empowered by the magic of her grimoire, and who had no special relationship with Marisa or any other pre-existing characters. And then Tomodachi Life decided to bring her and Marisa together...

 Those closest to her share their thoughts about Alice. They're all in agreement (albeit with Kyubey using sarcasm).

Husband: Kyubey Incubator

Best Friend: Marisa Kirisame (squee!)

Children: Shanghai Margatroid, Juubey, Cubey

Yes, the game decided that Alice and Marisa should become best friends. So I just decided to roll with it and treat her as sort of secretly... actually, quite openly lusting for Marisa, while still being married to Kyubey. Needless to say, it does strain their marriage somewhat, although I also suspect that marrying Kyubey was part of the deal, getting her to sell soul in order to become as close as is possible with Marisa. As Hitomi from Puella Magi Madoka Magica would say, "But that's forbidden love!"

I also suspect that Alice must have made a deal with Kyubey to have a perfectly normal child in the form of Shanghai Margatroid. As the first child to be born and the oldest second-generation islander, Shanghai was most definitely the centre of everyone's attention at the time she was born, and she has definitely earned her place in Gensokyo Island's hierarchy. In exchange, however, Kyubey must have also taken the souls of all of Alice's future children as their two subsequent children have ended up looking pretty much like Kyubey. Okay, in truth, they were truly horrible freaks, so I edited them to look like Kyubey so we could blame it on him. But that story still holds.

The first, and only baby photo I've ever taken. The photo booth is probably my least visited place.

Food Preferences:

All-Time Favourite: Smoothie

For Okuu's Look-alike's rating of Smoothies, go check Rinnosuke Morichika's entry. Suffice to say, I'd like to keep that one of the few things about which I have similarities with Alice.

Song Participation:  

Marisa My Love, Ballad, joint lead singer for Marisa Fan Club

It's self-explanatory. Alice sings about doing unspeakable things to Marisa's unspeakables, alongside Patchouli Knowledge. The song concludes with both Alice and Patchouli realising they need to exterminate everything else on the planet that could possibly be a rival for Marisa's love, starting with each other.

The best way for a much feared person to make friends would be to disguise yourself. And blind everyone else. And give out burgers.

Apartment: Apt. 207

Islander Rating: Borderline Top Tier

Alice is ranked extremely highly in Gensokyo Island's hierarchy, primarily due to threatening to kill me if I didn't let her stand alongside the god tier Marisa. Ahem. She's made the best progress out of all of the second batch of islanders thanks to having a 1/4 fullness all-time favourite food, as well as being very demanding indeed and thus giving plenty of opportunities to fill up her happiness. 

A prideful and vain fashionista like her, seeking all sorts of charms in order to woo Marisa, is constantly demanding new clothes and hats. Thankfully, she seems extremely content with her Art Gallery room decor, which probably fits her whacked-out Artist personality as someone who's maniacally obsessed, I mean extremely enthusiastic about crafting dolls. In terms of friends, she seems to be mostly tolerated by everyone as they naturally wouldn't want to get too close to her, but also want to keep out of her bad books - as a result she's often near the top of the popularity rankings despite not having that many genuinely close friends. She probably threatened to poison or dynamite anyone who didn't vote for her and Marisa. 

Alice Margatroid is... an emotionally needy, possessive, demanding, control freak who really, really most desires Marisa's unspeakables someone who can understand her and pander to her needs. She has the mind of a child but the attitude of a very assertive adult - the kind of person who's never nice, least of all when she's insisting you think that she's nice. Dare you open this grimoire and unleash the seven-coloured typhoon on your island?

(Marisa figure with visible doll-joints not included)

Yes, it's her Mystic Square look, but aged up. I'm still working on her Perfect Cherry Blossom outfit...

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 5th February 2015

Island Updates (Population 54) 

Please welcome Reisen Udongein Inaba, the newest resident of Gensokyo Island! She is an Easygoing Dreamer.

Relationships and Marriage

Utsuho Reiuji and Overlord Mao became best friends!

Rin Kaenbyou proposed to Kikuchiyo Kanbei today. He accepted! Congratulations to the newly married couple!

Children

Frederick, son of Recette Lemongrass and Armin Arlert, grew up. He was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!

Gensokyo Gourmands

Sanae Kochiya tried a Flan today. She thought it was the Worst Ever! 

Starfall

Hey, hey, hey, everyone! Guess what time it is? Concert time? Eh... it's been tough holding a proper show ever since Marisa Kirisame blew up my makeshift stage and all my costumes with that Master Spark of hers, so I've gone back to the journalism business for a bit. Ah, when this mess blows over, I can't wait to get back to my tour...

Yes, it's your lovely idol Umi here with the latest headlines from Gensokyo Island! More specifically, today's buzz centres around the sacrifical altar... I mean bioweapons development... I mean the maternity ward of course! The second half of the baby boom carries on today, with Yuyuko Saigyouji and Maximillian Magma, and Konata Izumi and Ramza Beoulve announcing the birth of their respective children! Let's take a look!

They're actually decently cute and not horrible freaks at all. However, when that's the case they usually look like a clone of one of their parents.

Yuyuko and Maxie were proud to show off their newborn child, their second child and second daughter Yuuko, Although Yuyuko secretly confided that she actually wanted a boy to round off the gender ratio first, maybe a redheaded kid who would grow up to be a samurai and have a cool scar or something. But in any case she liked the name Yuuko so much that she might give another one of her kids in the future the same name... what?! Her head's always so empty... has Maxie been witholding food from her or something?

Later today, Konata presented her firstborn child, a boy named Almaz, who looks an awful lot like a clone of his dad Ramza. Ramza says he named her after his sister Alma or something like that. Okuu's Look-alike seemed interested in the child, although she remarked that the kid was 'too blonde' and would most likely be expended as bioweapon material, er, I mean is certain to live a wonderful, long, and charmed life .... somewhere outside Gensokyo Island. In addition, upon hearing the child's name Overlord Mao immediately bust into their house and demanded to make the kid his vassal. Much danmaku was had shortly afterward, as is typical of residents of Gensokyo Island (even non-Touhou characters, as that).

Two delightfully pleasant and normal looking children, born to two radically different families. And yet, both children were born with the inclinations toward being a Confident Designer in the future. I guess ... is this what they call 'Designer Babies'???

Shinmyoumaru Sukuna and Patchouli Knowledge react to a very bad pun...net of food.

Whoa, whoa, okay! Stop tossing all those mouldy fruit and vegetables at me already, I'm sorry! I mean, I know you're all concerned for your beloved idol's nutritional balance, but really, the impact with which they're striking my beautiful skin is causing me more harm than good. Just put them nicely on a plate next time, okay? And throw that weird tentacled thing on top of it too, it's got lotsa protein.

Seriously, though, I can imagine how having a child turns parents' lives upside down. I mean, you can forget about having proper sleeping hours, as sometimes they have to put their child to bed early, and sometimes the dratted little creature won't stop whining and bawling until the wee hours of the morning. And then there's the baby clothes and accessories, toys, &c, and in these tough economic conditions it's no wonder that parents try to save on the expenses by reusing their elder children's toys as hand-me-downs for their younger siblings. Indeed, some parents even find ... uh ... alternate pursuits by which to reuse their children's belongings.

Rinnosuke and a Disposable Diaper? Ugh, I'm feeling a little scared now...

So yeah, that's the wrap on the last of the 'baby boom' that's been going on here at Gensokyo Island recently. Now all that's left is for the little kids' parents, aided by Okuu's Look-alike, to set them on their own two feet and kit them out to explore the world as travellers! Ah... travelling... it's like I've almost forgotten that was my first passion, before deciding to ... no, becoming an international superstar idol!

I'm almost starting to like Gensokyo Island already. It's been my home for exactly one month now, and it's allowed me to indulge in all of my passions - performing for a captive audience, getting respect for all the travels I've accomplished, having people call me Senpai... you know, stuff that would never happen back home, being "just another traveller" and "my parents' child". 

Even Okuu's Look-alike isn't that bad as everyone makes her out to be, y'know! Feeding everyone all sorts of things including moldy food and fish poop to make sure they have a balanced diet, playing with babies by shaking them so hard that they laugh, employing plastic surgery and mind-affecting drugs for the good of Gensokyo Island's population. O brave new world, huh? I'm so used to it, I'll actually be a little sad for it to all end. 

Oh, hello? What's that? I see something approaching from the horizon, far out in the sea...

What? You can't be serious. It's...

Wait a minute... I know these guys!

An idol's got to do what an idol's got to do! My loyal fans, thank you so much for your kind support this past month, but Umi's time has come. Don't cry for me, dear ones, for it's but another step in an idol's ascendance! To take to a new stage, to spread her song of joy, love, and peace across this world. 

Together now, my darlings, one last time! Say my name! Who's the star? Ooooh....

"geT thE *@#$%&! oN noW alreadY!" 

Love you guys! GERONIMO!!!

Rest in paparrazi, Umi. With love from Gensokyo Island.

"f*&%$#@!G travellerS takinG theiR b!@#$%&*Y timE..."

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 4th February 2015

Traveller Updates

A boat from Gotchi Island arrived! Umi of Stitch Island departed.

Children

Yuuko was born to Yuyuko Saigyouji and Maximillian Magma. It's their second child! She is a Confident Designer.

Almaz was born to Konata Izumi and Ramza Beoulve. It's their first child! He is a Confident Designer.

Gensokyo Gourmands

Shinmyoumaru Sukuna tried some Strawberry Shortcake today. She thought it was the Worst!

Patchouli Knowledge tried some Tempura today. She thought it was the Worst Ever!

Before the Storm

It's quiet... too quiet.

Well, actually, it isn't. The muted bawling of babies, like the growls of a distant thunderstorm, can be heard over the wind down here at the port, and I fear ... nay, I know that soon it will crecendo into a hurricane, sweeping all before it in its path, inundanting this land and drowning what little remains of peace, solitude, and individualism on this island.

That's why I cherish the quiet. It's through nurturing my inner peace such that I may stand firm even when the world around me is in tumult.

Totally not copied from a self-help booklet somewhere or anything. Inner peace, mon.

Already today two of the prophesied children have been brought onto this wretched earth, mewling and puking in their mothers' arms. Minosuke, the fifth child and third son of Utsuho Reiuji and Rinnosuke Morichika, was thankfully rather normal for a child. In contrast, Kyouko Kasodani and Wriggle Nightbug's wish to finally have a son (at the cost of their souls, perhaps) seems to have come true, with the birth of their fifth child Mushihiko. Taking much of his appearance from his father, it seems that their child would be one of the best advertisements for bug spray if there ever was one.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring? The other couples, Yuyuko Saigyouji and Maximillian Magma, and Konata Izumi and Ramza Beoulve have yet to report on their fleshy little creations. If only I could say that no news was good news...

Nothing really much to see with Okuu and Kourin's little bundle of joy, but as for Mushihiko ... you'd be grumpy too if you were born a bug.

Apart from this unshakeable feeling of dread knowing that two more of these gurgling mounds of flesh will be brought into this world tomorrow and the completely bizarre names Okuu's Look-alike will give them, it was a rather slow day here on Gensokyo Island. I mean, Armin Arlert ate a S'more, people were throwing fried beans at Suika Ibuki and kicking her out of Mii Apartments, the sort of usual antics the underemployed residents get up to everyday.

We had been scheduled to hold an interview with a certain someone with very rather unusual persuasions next, but our boss Aya Shameimaru told us to hold off until this baby bonanza passes its peak tomorrow. Instead, we were assigned to update the archives with all the records from our latest interviews, so the Miis and QR codes listing should be updated to the present day.

I guess that means it won't be me doing the interview work, then, certainly a cause for celebration. I might not be a pleasant person, but that doesn't mean I'm mad enough to get all cosy with a doll maniac. So, for today's rather pathetically short update, this is Yuzu signing off. Heh, I'm not bitter at all, really. That means less work for me for the same pay. Or is it just that Aya wants to squeeze me out of airing more of Gensokyo Island's dirty linen? Either way, as long as I get fed... although I'm starting to dread those Toramaru brand Hot Dogs...

Those rare moments when a normally glum person goes totally batty with happiness... are more frightening still.

 BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 3rd February 2015

Children

Minosuke was born to Utsuho Reiuji and Rinnosuke Morichika. It's their fifth child! He is an Independent Artist.

Mushihiko was born to Kyouko Kasodani and Wriggle Nightbug. It's their fifth child! He is a Confident Adventurer.

Gensokyo Gourmands

Armin Arlert tried a S'more today. It's his Favourite food! 

Contractual Aids

Whoo! I'm so pumped! Another successful concert today, and it's all thanks to my adoring fans here at the port of Gensokyo Island. I mean, today my lovely audience tossed me even more fruits and vegetables than ever to supplement my diet so I have the energy to continue my performances and boost their morale! I mean, sure, the fruit's gone a little soft and mouldy and there were slugs and other weird blobs on the vegetables, but more protein always helps, right? Yes, it's me, the superstar Umi, here to bring you another day's updates from Gensokyo Island.

I'll have to confess, though, even though I appreciate the loyalty of my fans it's a little disheartening to see so few new faces in the audience. I mean, the goal of every idol is to grow their popularity, right? Y'know, I wish even more people from Gensokyo Island would show up at the docks for my performances. That'll make me the happiest performance artiste in the world!

*cough* Excuse me, I just felt ... a little light, all of a sudden. It must have been that weird moving white spot on the lettuce that did it, heh. Oh ... oh wow, is that a boat on the horizon? Hmm... not a cargo ship, but an express chartered speedboat. Something's up, it seems.

Speaking of which ... hey, Hito, what's those photographs you've got with you? For today's updates? Let me see ... what the heck???

Whaaa... a baby boom? I won't be able to get into Mii Apartments, inundated by calls from hapless parents with their screaming offspring.

Wow, I don't believe this, four children were announced in one day? That's unbelievable... improbable... inconceivable! Or in fact, very conceiving indeed! It's like a miracle that all of these came together. I'm sure our wonderful dictator Okuu's Look-alike, with her well-known love for biological weapons ... I mean adorable children will be so absolutely overjoyed at this news. Heh, and I'll be happy too - that means more people to attend my concerts, call me Senpai, and donate shreds from their already miniscule rations to fuel my singing career! This is just fantastic!

The pairings of Kyouko and Wriggle, and Okuu and Kourin will be going for their fifth to catch up with Reimu and ZUN, while Yuyuko and Maxie will be expecting their second. And it's most certainly a delight for Ramza Beoulve and Konata Izumi, announcing their first child just days after getting married. It's like a fairy tale for all of these joys to happen so close together, isn't it? Assuming fairy tales have shotgun weddings, it would seem!

Ah... the thought of more loving fans screaming my name ... it's making my head swim. And is that... hey! It's the speedboat that was heading here earlier! Ah, it looks like it's been chartered by one of Gensokyo Island's traveller children using their savings to come back and visit their parents! That's so filial, it brings tears to my eyes! I wish I could have seen it! Who would it be? It's... 

Apparently the owner of the last island Juan visited was named Shou, too. And he took real good care of Juan, as well! Thanks so much!

Oh wow, these photographs are so good, it's like I was really there in person with Juan! I mean, more accurately, it's more like they were lifted off the security cameras Okuu's Look-alike has installed in the corners of every residence on Gensokyo Island, but I can sense Recette Lemongrass and Armin Arlert's joy just by seeing their faces beaming with delight. I mean ... yeah, I miss my folks too, but I wouldn't go so far as to wish I was back at home with them. I have a career now, you know, I'm an independent woman!

Still... ah, yes! What was in my reporting notes earlier this day that I needed to check out. That's right, the dreaded Yuuka Kazami, who announced her pregnancy a couple of days ago, has given birth to her child today. Y'know, as a media figure, I personally believe in giving everyone a chance but after looking at this list of Yuuka's horrible deeds, and having to stop her first son Alexandre from doing weird things like trying to catch little animals in hollow spheres... I'm afraid of what her offspring would be like. I wish her kids wouldn't be sadistic genocidal maniacs like her and actually grow up into decently well-adjusted folks...

The second time I've ever accepted a default name outright, but with Yuuka, flowery names are always appropriate.

Wait, I've just got the headlines in. Yuuka's new child, a girl, is actually one that seems pretty normal and decent and not psychopathic at all. I mean, her personality is so much closer to her cheerful and happy-go-lucky dad Augustine Sycamore, rather than her dark, brooding, and frankly creepy mom. Okuu's Look-alike approved of her so much, she even accepted the perfectly normal name which Yuuka proposed. This is such a bizarre coincidence, it's almost abnormal. In fact, it's like magic!

Ah, it's like a ripple of redemption has swept across this land, where love blossoms, and the misguided and wicked turn to face the light, even if only for a moment. That's the power of song, my adoring fans! That's the magic of an idol!

Oh... hello. And you're Kyubey Incubator, the one I'm supposed to be conducting a character interview with today, aren't you? What do you mean we've already made a contract? We've just met, and... what? You want me to fight Marisa Kirisame, the witch?  But I'm a singer, not a fighter. What do you mean you already told her I'd be coming after her, and she's already over there?

If a traveller returns to visit instead of writing a letter, you get a message from the island's owner instead of a photograph. Good luck, Umi, you'll need it!

Oh cripes. Is that a massive blazing laser being charged up in that thing she's holding? Um ... Sorry, gotta run! Love you guys! Aaaaaahhh!!!!

Kyubey Incubator

All information correct as of 2 February 2015

 Armin says it like it is. It's not just fighting words - it's the truth.

Name: Kyubey Incubator

Nickname: Kyubey

Date of Birth: 7th January 2011

Personality: Confident Go-Getter ('go get her!')

Favourite Colour: White

Quotation: "Make a contract!"

Kyubey Incubator is one of the main characters of the anime series Puella Magi Madoka Magica. He is a... sort of cute companion creature that follows the main human characters around, and he has the ability to grant any one wish in exchange for the transformation of the wisher into a Puella Magi, a magical girl dedicated to fighting Witches. To discuss any more about him or the show would mean major spoilers ... ugh, who are we kidding, it's all been spoiled already. Let's just say he's a nasty piece of work, all right? Don't make any deals with him.

I felt Kyubey was the best representative of the show for inclusion on Gensokyo Island as he operates on his own agenda, while the human characters need each other to add meaning to their story. Kyubey is more correctly known by that name alone, Incubator actually being his species (fanworks often being inclined to assign the species name of non-human characters as a last name when needed). Also, Kyubey is actually genderless as far as anyone can tell, although he uses the typically male pronoun 'boku', so many tend to see him as male as well. He also demonstrates a lack of emotions, except for confusion and maybe surprise, as he thinks perfectly logically, with everything focussed on his goal of recruiting more magical girls.

Needless to say all this is quite hard to translate into Tomodachi Life - Kyubey is one of those few characters whose appearance is easier to pull off in game than their personality. Being a Confident Go-Getter is the closest one can get to being perfectly goal-oriented. However, Kyubey no doubt retains aspects of his canonical nature, as one of his greatest strengths is the ability to show up in all kinds of unexpected situations, and screw the other parties and the player while staring right at them with his unmoving cat smile and unblinking gaze.

Kyubey and Alice, concentrating insane agendas into as few couples as we can.

Wife: Alice Margatroid

Best Friend: Junya Ohta

Children: Shanghai Margatroid, Juubey, Cubey

It's so tempting to make some snide comments about the relationship between two of Gensokyo Island's most suspicious and untrustworthy individuals, but it would probably be more accurate to say that the two of them hit it off almost immediately after they were introduced as part of the second batch of islanders. In terms of rapid progress in familial relations, Kyubey and Alice Margatroid definitely hold the title here on Gensokyo Island.

Kyubey and Alice are not only the first couple of the second batch of islanders to enter a relationship, but also the first to get married, and - beating out the original eight islanders - they were the first to have a child, the absolutely normal, well-adjusted Shanghai Margatroid, which is quite surprising considering her parents ... and, with the benefit of hindsight, the two kids that came next who were packed off as travellers.

You see, Kyubey has had some ... modifications to get the look he has in the anime. Since his character has no nose, but noses are compulsory in Mii Maker, his 'nose'  is hidden in the black of his mouth. Likewise, he has no eyebrows, but since eyebrows are needed I repurposed them to serve as part of his dog-like ears. This makes for an excellent Mii character - but for some truly horrific children, when the RNG rolls badly. 

Indeed it's a wonder that Shanghai came out looking normal at all, it's as if I made a wish that the first kid ever to be born on my island would be a normal one I'd like to invite to live here, and not one of those freaks we can find all over the Internet. As for the other two ... let's just say I needed to cheat right from the beginning to get them into a state that could be looked at without having involuntary bowel movements.

 From left to right, Shanghai Margatroid, Juubey, and Cubey. But i Kyubey clones visited your island, anyone with sense would delete them too!

Food Preferences:

All-Time Favourite: Cinnamon Roll

Okuu's Look-alike Rating - Cinnamon Roll: Really Like! You can't say no to sweet pastry with loads of icing.

Y'know, way back when I had yet to ever discover anyone's All-Time Favourite food, I was wondering "I wish I could find someone's all-time favourite food, that would be so awesome." And that was the day when I introduced the second batch of eight islanders, including Kyubey, and Cinnamon Roll was the item for sale at the morning market. 

The rest is history. Suffice to say the only item Kyubey has ever been fed and ever will be fed is the Cinnamon Roll. Also, he's got my soul locked up in a gem.

Song Participation:

Living Next Door to Alice, Musical, backup singer for Three Dolls Down

Too Much Water, Techno, instrumentalist for Rogues'  Gallery

Yes, Kyubey is also one of the singers in a song about living next door to his wife Alice. Technically he does live next door to her... at Mii Apartments. When she's in there alone, it wouldn't be a surprise if Kyubey next door could hear those creepy moans and sobs and slobbering over doll joints.

 E.T., freaking go home already. Mankind ill needs a saviour such as you.

Apartment: Apt. 206

Islander Tier Rating: Borderline Top Tier

It's pretty self-explanatory that knowing an islander's All-Time Favourite food from the very day they're introduced will quickly ensure them a place near the top of the happiness tables. What's a little more difficult to explain is why he isn't already at the top, and all I can say is that much of it has to do with how I don't systematically feed islanders, only when they call me for some demand or another, and even then only when they're on an empty stomach.

Another factor is that Kyubey's the type that only makes friends with difficulty, and then gets into fights a lot. I wouldn't be surprised, since anyone would want to lay him out good after hearing what he's done, but it means spending the happiness from the Cinnamon Roll to either calm him down or cheer him up out of depression. Again, this is suboptimal play for gaining levels but who said I was playing optimally, even if I'm interested in knowing about it? It's also quite hard to satisfy him as I'm often not sure what kind of attire or interiors he wants. Thankfully, people tend to want to be introduced to him quite often, as perhaps his reputation preceds him - they want to 'befriend' him so they can fight with him and punch his lights out.

Kyubey is, in non-Tomodachi Life terms, a known quantity. Anyone who knows anything about who he is and the series he comes from will know full well to steer well clear of him. However, that's what's exactly so exciting about adding him to your island - you know that he's going to cause some trouble, and the fun is seeing how and with whom. Don't you wish you too could personally torment and abuse this eminently hateable little creature? Then make a contract with Kyubey and add him to your island today!

 Yeah, that's also a girl's dress he's wearing. You can modify the eyebrows if you prefer just head accessories for his ears.

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 2nd February 2015

Traveller Updates

Juan returned from Shouchan no Island to visit his parents Recette Lemongrass and Armin Arlert! He has visited 4 islands so far.

Children

Lily was born to Yuuka Kazami and Augustine Sycamore. It's their second child! She is an Easygoing Dreamer.

Yuyuko Saigyouji announced that she was pregnant with her and Maximillian Magma's second child!

Kyouko Kasodani announced that she was pregnant with her and Wriggle Nightbug's fifth child!

Utsuho Reiuji announced that she was pregnant with her and Rinnosuke Morichika's fifth child!

Ramza Beoulve announced that his wife Konata Izumi was pregnant with their first child!  

Children of Heaven?

My skin is crawling. They're everywhere... they're multiplying, crowding us out... it's only a matter of time before what remains of our worm-eaten corpses are forced into the sea. 

 I wanted to call him Friedrich, but that's just a letter away from "Fried Rice"

What? Y... you don't know?! I mean the offspring of Gensokyo Island's denizens, of course! Just look at Friedrich, the newborn third child of Recette Lemongrass and Armin Arlert. Given that the irresponsible Okuu's Look-alike has not been implementing any curbs on the constant procreation of the island's twenty couples, and in fact seems to be encouraging it for her own nefarious ends, I fear the present, already desperate state of affairs at the port will descend into something more bloody.

Never mind the anti-messiah - the devil already lives within us all. Already, fourteen travellers including the three of us from other islands are jostling for food, shelter, and toilet time here at the port, and recent events means that three or possibly more could be added to that number. Famine, exposure, inadequate sanitation ... is there no end to the misery that Okuu's Look-alike will place upon us travellers until we're convinced that an endless limbo is infinitely preferable? Just take a look at these two misshapen freaks that will no doubt be joining us in the near future, along with that other one from earlier.

I love all my islanders' kids (except when they cry). More travellers means the higher chance of one actually surviving.

Marisa Kirisame and Reimu Hakurei, who are as I've been informed actually a power duo in some alternate universe or another, had the shared joy of each bringing forth a new life onto this world today. Reimu's new daughter Reika was manifestly normal apart from having unusually bushy eyebrows for a kid, but Marisa's daughter Maiko, however ... was manifestly abnormal, quite a fitting match for her mother, actually. 

Thankfully for the rest of us, Okuu's Look-alike conducted a little emergency plastic surgery to twiddle her face a little so that someone other than her mother could possibly love her. It was in the best interests of Maiko, I guess ... as well as the best interests of Okuu's Look-alike, who would take enforced breaks from her tyrant duties to assist woefully inept residents in their parenting duties. Maybe Okuu's Look-alike does have a little bit of kindness in her after all, albeit the same kindness a farmer shows for cattle before sending them to the slaughter.

In further news that has no doubt set alarm bells ringing in the minds of Gensokyo Island's residents as well as others', today the infamous Yuuka Kazami announced her intention to plant upon this earth another seedling to spread her nefarious sadistic and genocidal ways. No doubt Okuu's Look-alike was an accessory to this plan, as was Yuuka's perpetually blissfully clueless husband Augustine Sycamore. We've already seen the last fruit of their efforts - the somewhat deranged Alexandre who was only calmed out of a rampage by Umi's soothing songs. But Umi won't be around forever ... and at this rate, neither will the rest of the world.

Another reason to have kids is that they improve and preserve a married couple's relations. Unlike real life,

Alas, Gensokyo Island is but a small community among the many thousands of similar islands in this world, but the plans of the vile dictator Okuu's Look-alike to spread its contagion and turn this world into a living hell are monstrous to behold. And yet, all the same some redeeming characters do live upon the surface of this blasphemy against existence. 

I've been assigned to conduct an interview with one such character today. "In the hope of dispelling your illusions, heh." says Yuzu. But I differ, I do believe this one person has genuine goodness in their heart. It's also no coincidence that she happens to be married to another outstanding individual who's a paragon of justice. Today, I wish to introduce you to the exemplary individual Chiyo Mihama, one of the few genuinely good people resident upon the surface of this hell on earth...

You like to talk about hell a lot. How about I give you a first-hand experience of it?

Huh? What is it? Oh, hello... are you Rin Kaenbyou? Yes, I'm Hito...what do you want with me... Okuu's Look-alike sent you? Wait!!! Nooo...

 Chiyo Mihama

All information correct as of 1 February 2015

Name: Chiyo Mihama

Nickname: Chiyo-chan

Date of Birth: 4th March 1999

Personality: Easygoing Softie

Favourite Colour: Pink

Quotation: "Cooking is fun!"

Chiyo Mihama is one of the main characters of the manga and anime series Azumanga Daioh by Kiyohiko Azuma. She is a child prodigy who's so intelligent that she's been permitted to skip many grades and be placed in high school. However, she's also miserably short, terrible at sports, and can be very childish, although she also has a responsible side. She comes from an extremely wealthy family and owns a dog by the name of Mister Tadakichi, a certain yellow oblong supposed cat creature voiced by Norio Wakamoto claims to be her father.

Chiyo-chan is most well known for being short, cute, and responsible for many of the lead-ins to Azumanga Daioh's most surreal jokes involving either her hair or her 'father', and I tried to bring that across in Tomodachi Life. Although she's firmly on the 'cute' side, her ability to interact with Gensokyo Island's more absurd denizens without coming across as the straight man helps her fill that rather difficult niche of being a character who's mostly serious but also has a quirky side to them.

Chiyo-chan was the first character who had a duplicate personality of one of the previous characters - that's Kyouko Kasodani, whose favourite colour is also Pink. She's also the first character for whom I really couldn't think of an appropriate birthdate - the only thing that's known about it is that it's in March, so I went with March 4th for easier remembering. Early on, she had difficulty differentiating herself from Kyouko and thus also found it harder to make new friends, which is really out-of-character, but as Kyouko developed her own slightly troubled personality and Chiyo-chan had more time to mix around they gradually grew into two distinct characters with their own roles to play on the island, which really made me happy.

Chiyo and Shiki Eiki's wedding and another gem of a honeymoon picture. It's great moments like these you miss if you don't use the in-game camera.

Husband: Shikieiki Yamaxanadu

Best Friend: Suika Ibuki

Children: Suiki, Tadakichi Mihama, Justine, Chiyoko

We already discussed Chiyo-chan and Shikieiki Yamaxanadu's relationship under Shiki Eiki's entry, so let's talk more about their children here. Chiyo-chan and Shiki Eiki's first child and first son, Suiki, was named after a minor character from Wild and Horned Hermit, a spin-off manga series of the Touhou Project, the namesake being a reaper demon who claims souls that have lived for longer than they have deserved. In contrast, their second child and second son Tadakichi was named after ... Chiyo-chan's dog, Mister Tadakichi. It's kind of absurd when you draw inspiration for names from works from two different genres, isn't it?

Justine, their third child and first daughter, is an odd one out as she has an English name despite neither of her parents bearing English names - my aim was to be exotic but also meaningful on that one. Lastly, their fourth child and second daughter Chiyoko ... well, I had a bit of a shortage of ideas on that one, no doubt, but trust me it is an actual name borne by real life individuals as well as some fictional characters. So it does have inspiration of some sort, yes!

Chiyo-chan's best friend is Suika Ibuki, a permanently inebriated oni girl who's normally of dimunitive stature, but is monstrously strong and has the ability to change her density and size on a whim. Perhaps Suika represents those attributes Chiyo-chan has always wanted to have like strength, becoming taller (yet remaining cute) and probably growing up and getting drunk as well. On Suika's side ... well, she probably wants a playmate who's also cute and childlike, and Chiyo-chan fits the bill perfectly.

Top left, Suiki in the spiky hair, and right, Tadakichi, who isn't a traveller. Bottom left, Justine, and right, Chiyoko. The family resemblance is uncanny.

Food Preferences:

Favourite: Mashed Potatoes

Worst Ever: Espresso

Okuu's Look-alike Rating - Mashed Potatoes: Love! No, please ignore that reconstituted crap you get from fast-food restaurants, actual potatoes mashed by hand and drizzled with oodles of yummy butter is truly a delicacy, especially considering how it's just carbohydrates and fat done right. Adding gravy to it just seals the deal.

Song Participation:

Gotta Slay 'em All, Rap, backup dancer for The Recon Corps

As one of the shortest members of the cast of Gensokyo Island, it's only right that Chiyo-chan gets a chance to join the team to sock it to those Titans.

   So one of you genocides youkai, and the other genocides humans? Hee hee, you're both so funny!

Apartment: Apt. 205

Islander Rating: High Tier

Chiyo-chan, being one of the best-behaved and least crazy islanders here on Gensokyo Island, does a reasonable job of holding her own against a cast of crazed oddballs but, as is often the case, being plain, generic, and normal frequently loses out to being insanely quirky and bizarre. Chiyo-chan has been able to maintain her place in the Gensokyo Island hierarchy primarily due to being a high-maintenance girl who wants gifts and treats ever so often, and pays it back by not causing too much trouble with other islanders or her spouse. Since she can be counted upon to like anything that's cute and girly, it's easy to pick out something she'll love.

However, due to being fairly non-descript (apart from being cute), it's hard to pick out Chiyo-chan as one of the standouts on Gensokyo Island. Perhaps this could also be due to how she's comfortable among both serious characters as well as wacky ones, and as such she might not excite the same humour caused by a contrast between the sensible and the nonsensical. That doesn't mean I dislike Chiyo-chan, rather I feel that it's most fun when I'm dealing with her as an individual, treating her to cutesy things I know she'll like, rather than as part of a cast herd containing wackos and outright villains.

If you're someone who likes cute stuff, it's absolutely imperative that you get Chiyo-chan on your island, for she's a perfect match. But if you're looking for someone who's able to make that bridge between the normal and the strange, the weird and the pedestrian, perhaps Chiyo-chan's easygoing acceptance and indeed harbouring of the unusual might be what you need.

 That Cute School Uniform is perfect! It's like the devs were watching the show!

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 31st January 2015

Happy 7th Birthday, Overlord Mao!

Relationships and Marriage

Overlord Mao and Archibald Aqua are no longer best friends! 

Children

Frederick was born to Recette Lemongrass and Armin Arlert. It's their third child! He is an Outgoing Charmer.

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 1st February 2015  

Children

Maiko was born to Marisa Kirisame and Miko Toyosatomimi. It's their third child! She is a Confident Designer.

Yuuka Kazami announced that she was pregnant with her and Augustine Sycamore's second child!

Reika was born to Reimu Hakurei and Junya Ohta. It's their fifth child! She is an Independent Artist.