Kiba here. Sorry we weren't able to bring you a daily update yesterday. I was up all night on a raid... I mean write, that's it! Writing this totally awesome article. Also, our boss Aya Shameimaru mysteriously went missing all day and this time we're sure the Tiger Brand Hot Dogs weren't to blame. Or Shou Toramaru says she's sure, at least.
Mr. Iwata? Mr. Iwata? He seems to be occupied at the moment... with filming Aya Shameimaru in the bath.
On recent news, it seems to be the usual goings-on on the Gensokyo Island biological weapons ... I mean baby factory, with two more bawling timebombs churned out over the day and another two on the assembly line. Reimu Hakurei and Junya Ohta established a new Gensokyo Island record with their sixth successful product, their fourth son Junpei. It seems that they're also on course to set the record for most children packed off as travellers, as Okuu's Look-alike remained unmoved when begged to consider allowing one of their children to stay at last.
Another first was set today when Gary Oak finally discovered how exactly the day care gets those Pokémon eggs, when his wife Evil Spirit Mima presented him with a potential future Ghost type specialist. Their first child, a daughter named Phoebe, also made Okuu's Look-alike very happy - for being the first kid ever on whom she got the best possible outcome at the baby rocking minigame. Assuming permanent brain damage isn't the best possible outcome of course.
Junpei looks totally bemused while Phoebe smiles with her first pink flower-like mark on her head. Okuu and Gen. Gregor can only stare enviously.
Not to be outdone in either the 'most kids' or the 'first kid' department, today Utsuho Reiuji and Berthold Gregor each announced their forthcoming child-rearing plans. It's quite a coincidence, considering that Gen. Gregor's wife Unyuho Morichika is in fact Utsuho Reiuji's daughter. Perhaps Okuu gave her daughter a little lesson in the birds and the bees, or more rather the hell ravens and the firefly youkai.
In other experiments on living beings, Okuu's Look-alike has been happily noting the panophaly of reactions Gensokyo Island's residents make when they are fed miscellaneous food. Or is she running a business by selling the photographs to Aya who then uses it to blackmail them? That probably explains how she was able to afford that trip to the spa...
Pictured - Captain Minamitsu Murasa's reaction to the grotesque faces of the two islanders beside her.
Chronicling the highlights of Gensokyo Island's everyday happenings certainly generates a veritable mountain of records... or is it a mountain of unsold copies of the daily Bunbunmaru News? In any case, all this information needs to be stored somewhere safe and secure, and it just so happens that Gensokyo Island is blessed with its very own great unmoving library.
It just so happens that I'm quite well-acquainted with her, since she was playing my raid leader on World of Swordcraft Online last night. And she's the person who wrecked my awesome fleet in Ship Girls Collection PvP the other day. And the person who did that freaking 100% juggle combo on me over netplay on Touhou XX: Super Smash Sisters that one time... It's like she lives in a basement and does nothing but play computer games all day! How can such a person ever survive in this world .... ahem, well, I'm one to talk. Anyway, please meet today's star, the elemental master Patchouli Knowledge!
Patchouli Knowledge
All information correct as of 18 February 2015
Proof that Patchouli is indeed a hikikomori... um, a book enthusiast.
Name: Patchouli Knowledge
Nickname: Patchouli
Date of Birth: 11th August 1996
Personality: Independent Lone Wolf
Favourite Colour: Pink
Quotation: "Mukiuuuu~!"
Patchouli Knowledge is the 4th Stage Boss character of Touhou 6: Embodiment of Scarlet Devil by Team Shanghai Alice, and also features as a partner character in Touhou 11: Subterranean Animism. She also appears as a playable character in all the fighting games and makes a cameo in the introduction or ending of nearly every game since her first appearance. She is a youkai magician who specialises in elemental magic, and manages the library (erroneously but familiarly known as 'Voile') beneath the Scarlet Devil Mansion. She's also asthmatic, anaemic, and one of the most physically frail characters in the series, which hinders her from letting loose her true power at all times.
Patchouli has been one of the most popular characters in the Touhou series since her introduction, whether it's for her contrast with the more free-spirited and combat-happy protagonists, her interesting fellow-magician dynamic with Marisa Kirisame (and Alice Margatroid), or fandom-created catchphrases like 'Mukyu!" and quirks like being a NEET basement dweller. It's only natural to want to have such a well-loved character on Gensokyo Island.
Thanks to not having an especially bizarre character design, it was a relatively easy task to add her to Gensokyo Island. That Nightcap is a godsend where Touhou characters are concerned, really. It's also only natural that she's of the most withdrawn personality type, the Lone Wolf, and I tried to give her an eyebag-like apperance to emphasise how much time she spends just studying books and playing online games... ahem. She doesn't care about foolish things like being flashy or standing out - her blank stare speaks for itself.
Mad Scientist Patchouli Knowledge and Mad Scientist Overlord Mao - a match made in the Netherworld.
Husband: Overlord Mao
Best Friend: Reimu Hakurei, formerly Overlord Mao
Children: Carmilla
My second declared OTP on Gensokyo Island, the love story of Patchouli Knowledge and Overlord Mao makes for heart-warming tale, albeit with a twist. Like Marisa Kirisame and Miko Toyosatomimi before them, Patchouli and Mao hit it off pretty much instantly despite being nearly opposite personalities. They'd do everything together, whether it was researching new sciences or demon-summoning grimoires, or having a go at each other on the Wii or the 3DS. However, there was a catch - Patchouli started off as an adult (with the latest possible birthday of 1996), while Mao was given the birthday corresponding to the actual date of release of his game, making him a child.
Now, I've heard rumours that the original Japanese game actually allowed adults and children to fall in love, with the child in the coupling asking for an Age-o-Matic when they were ready to get married. I don't know if that's true (let's not discuss the fracas about 'dummying out' homosexuality), but if such a thing did really exist this would be the perfect pairing for it. In any event my impatience soon got the better of me and I gave Mao an Age-o-Matic to make him an adult, but it was still some time before they even thought about turning their friendship into a romance. A bit of nudging by the other Miis on the island was needed, I admit. But the 100% compatibility rating (I know it's complete hokum, don't worry) got me fired up and determined to see them wedded.
So they got married, eventually. However, apart from their pre-marriage friendship, they've been very much like any other couple on the island with near-opposite personalities pairing up, being generally fine but frequently taking random heavy hits to their relations because the RNG clearly doesn't care about something called 'opposites attract'. So I guess that's the end of the story worth telling. As to her recently acquired best friend Reimu Hakurei... well, since Alice Margatroid stole Marisa right off the bat, the closest thing she can do is go for the next main character.
Patchouli, Mao, and friends hard at work and at play. Notice Alice's presence in both scenes - looking for a chance to assassinate her love rival.
Food Preferences:
Worst Ever: Tempura
Okuu's Look-alike Rating - Tempura: Like. I find it hard to be enthusiastic about Tempura. It's fine, I guess, but the crux of the question is Tempura... what? Most of the time people think of Ebi Tempura - that's prawns, and I would never touch seafood willingly. How ever, there are many other things fried in tempura batter such as sweet potatoes and even chicken, which I wouldn't just gladly accept but I'd clamour for it. So I guess it mostly evens out- I don't have a grudge against Tempura, but whenever it's mentioned I'm usually left disappointed, except for the rare moments when I can actually find something I love.
Song Participation:
Marisa My Love, Ballad, joint-lead singer for Marisa Fan Club
Patchouli's that other person whom fandom portrays as being murderously crazy for Marisa Kirisame's affection. However, due to the limitations of her frail physique, she's often portrayed as being less pro-active about pursuing her one-sided love than Alice Margatroid. Instead, she's usually seen either plotting how to get revenge on Marisa for stealing her books, or secretly fantasising about all the things she'd do to Marisa once she finally gets her hands on her. And I should mention that fantasising includes copious drool and all kinds of kid-unfriendly noises.
Patchouli's bizarre fascination with seafood - understandable seeing as to how she can't visit the sea, being confined to her library.
Apartment: Apt. 303
Islander Rating: High Tier
Like Baldren Gassenarl, Patchouli is one of those whose islander ranking has risen mostly in line with their tier, being relatively demanding but not having an All-Time Favourite food to push up their rating. Due to being somewhat withdrawn, it's extremely rare to find her hanging out with someone else, especially in the apartment of someone she only knows as a 'friend of a friend'. No doubt her introverted and somewhat dour nature means that what friends she makes mostly consists of those who cared enough to approach her in the first place, with the notable exception of anyone who loves either books or computer games.
Although she's mostly quiet with regard to the other islanders, it's easy to tell that Patchouli Knowledge is one who thinks deeply and feels passionately about very many things, but is unable to or chooses not to show it outwardly. Instead, she's mostly content to choose the path of doing what she knows and loves best, and lets the world (and Marisa Kirisame) come to her instead. Like all Touhou characters, however, it's never a good idea to rile her up. She might not be as muscled, but she's certainly constant as the North Star - she's the great unmoving library Patchouli Knowledge. Just don't 'borrow' her books like a certain black-white if you value your life.
I know there's a Pyjamas item in game, but this dress better fits the appearance of her two-layered nightrobe.
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 17th February 2015
Children
Phoebe was born to Evil Spirit Mima and Gary Oak. It's their first child! She is an Outgoing Charmer.
Junpei was born to Reimu Hakurei and Junya Ohta. It's their sixth child! He is an Easygoing Optimist
Utsuho Reiuji announced that she was pregnant with her and Rinnosuke Morichika's sixth child!
Gensokyo Gourmands
Chiyo Mihama tried some Beef Jerky today. It's her All-Time Favourite food!
Minamitsu Murasa tried some Candy Corn today. She thought it was the Worst!
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 18th February 2015
Children
Berthold Gregor announced that his wife Unyuho Morichika was pregnant with their first child!
Gensokyo Gourmands
Maximillian Magma tried some Celery today. It's his Favourite food!
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