15 January 2015

Boiling Over

Uh, hello. It's me again. Yuzu. I'm at the scene of what seems to be a popular uprising occuring right now at the port at Gensokyo Island. The travellers are collectively in an uproar over the deteriorating conditions at the increasingly overcrowded port, with one new potential traveller arriving today from Mii Homes. Thankfully, a calm, collected, and not easily surprised individual such as myself am no part of it, allowing me to bring you reports from the situation.

The upcoming "Team Miiracle", led by budding terrorist Alexandre Sycamore, attempted to enlist the other travellers into its ranks but to no avail, as the oh-so cowardly travellers refused to join ranks to overthrow the evil overlords who could have them shot on the spot. In fact, a rival team seems to be forming, led by the new arrival Chester Murasa, a self-proclaimed admiral who admonishes others to "Join the Navy!". According to him Gensokyo Island is under threat by ... a collection of girls dressed in ship parts or something like that. Wow. What will they think of next.

The mail ship today also brought a new letter from distant lands, which it delivered by paper aeroplane after enraged travellers nearly managed to hurl a (full) septic tank at it. Said paper aeroplane was caught by Chester, who promptly delivered it to his parents... it was a letter from his sister Mitsuko!

 Mitsuko recounts a strange tale in her letter. Wow, this island really bites!

The everyday life of a traveller is an ordeal, whether it may be staving off boredom, surviving the open seas, or waiting for that darn immigration office to open. No one should delude themselves otherwise. And yet, for most of us, this is not a choice we chose to make... It was fate, was it not?

After all, today Okuu's Look-alike, supreme overlord of Gensokyo Island, delivered onto us two pieces of very important information. The first was that the long overdue, extremely covert and underhanded and also very expensive means of dealing with the traveller overcrowding problem was now in the process of being implemented. With any luck, we'll see some results tomorrow, but I'm not optimistic. I never am. Indeed it brings me a sort of dark glee to watch the scene before me descend further and further into chaos and havoc.

The second bit of news is what sent the travellers into the frothing frenzy I now see before me - that Okuu's Look-alike has permitted one of the recently born children to become a permanent resident of Gensokyo Island. No, not Hinoko, a new one. It's Tia Arlert, the daughter of Recette Lemongrass and Armin Arlert.

"Why her? Why not me?" cry the others in despair. "I could have led the forces of Gensokyo Island against the evil ship girl flotilla!" bemoans Chester Murasa. "I could have remade reality in our favour!" exclaims Alexandre Sycamore. "Maybe Okuu's Look-alike is just biased in favour of girls!" ponders Kenji Kitazawa. "I'm a girl too, dammit!" pronounces Carmilla Knowledge

  I just added the glasses. Almost perfect! If only the hairstyle and hair colour, and height, were tweaked a little...

There are already enough superpowered lunatics on this island to remake several universes, and I'm still have yet to see any signs of those ship girls, but the question really had to be asked - what makes a kid a good resident, and what makes them a good traveller (in other words, what makes them a not-so-good resident...). The maddened throng demanded an answer of Okuu's Look-alike, heedless of their own personal safety and continued existence. For it seemed at that moment they might as well have been better off dead.

Okuu's Look-alike's true thoughts, if spoken publicly, would have exacerbated the riot beyond control. With that in mind, we of the junior journalists section covertly conducted an interview with the infamous dictator herself to bring her true words to light.

"Creating characters is all about ideas. If you have no idea about what you want to create, an interesting character simply cannot exist."

Oh wow, such magnificent eloquence. In more plain terms, you can't create an interesting character before first knowing what you want. And I suppose this is to say that of all the children born to the islanders here, Okuu's Look-alike has admitted not having very much idea about the future of many of them and have thus elected to pass the buck by booting them off the island despite the abundance of living space. Only those for whom she has concocted some no doubt twisted and cruel designs are permitted to remain on Gensokyo Island.

 In other words, if the prospective resident isn't some sort of freak or psychopath, they're unlikely to survive in our cast herd.

"There are also other considerations, such as whether the new resident's personality fits the mood of the island."

Which is to say, children born with the wrong personality are likely to be kicked off the island regardless of their merits. That sounds just like the breeding system in that monster collecting game I was playing the other day. Given Okuu's Look-alike's preference for a balanced spread of personalities, a child may be evicted from the island simply for being similar to too many other islanders.

"Lastly, only one child per family. All the others are out of luck."

Well, that was rather frank. It's something like a one-child policy, except that instead of restricting you to having just one kid they let you have as many as you want, but the state kidnaps all but one and uses them as living weapons to spread their propaganda to the rest of the world. That can be the only explanation why Okuu's Look-alike allows Gensokyo Island's residents to procreate at such an unmanageable level as they do now.

There's also the possibility that Okuu's Look-alike just likes kids. Not in that way, I mean, like, likes little kids before they grow into adolescents. Not in that way! I mean, likes to look after the children! I'm told she's actually pretty good at it. Especially the "shake the baby as hard as you can" game, I'll bet.

 Mii parents are like the worst parents in the world. Have your parents ever bribed a stranger to entertain you?

Or maybe she's just hoping that the happy parents give her a Travel Ticket. Because it's probably the true explanation. This was Yuzu, with today's news. Well, it isn't really news, it's just stating facts. Confirming facts. Confirming suspicions. You get it.

And I think I'll keep my eye open for that ship girl flotilla. With all the maniacs already existing on this island, it's surely not beyond belief that there are more out there.

BUNBUNMARU NEWS, 15th January 2015

Island Updates (Population 51)
Please welcome Tia Arlert, the newest resident of Gensokyo Island! She is an Outgoing Trendsetter.

Traveller Updates
Mitsuko, daughter of Aliasse Foerster and Minamitsu Murasa, wrote back from Usagi island! She has visited 1 island so far.

Children
Tia, daughter of Recette Lemongrass and Armin Arlert, grew up. She was invited to live on Gensokyo Island!
Archibald Aqua announced that his wife Margit Ravelli was pregnant with their second child! 

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