So she told me to write something serious for once. Trying not to provoke my, ahem, unusual sense of humour is probably a good idea, yes... Especially considering that she'll have to deal with me for longer than my two compatriots ahead of me.
Today's theme is, interestingly enough, 'Growth'. Don't worry, I won't be writing an economics thesis on this. No doubt Aya must have considered this observing her son Hoshi aging from a bawling ball of flesh into a socially-inept but nevertheless happy-go-lucky misfit. It's an appropriate one, too, as today Gensokyo Island's residents celebrated the birthday of another ne'er-do-well whose ego towers over his otherwise miniature stature. That person is Overlord Laharl.
Funny, I think I got Laharl's birthday wrong. It's 12 years since Disgaea was released ... I've gotta check his data. By the way I didn't like Disgaea D2.
Surrounded by his significant other, best friend, and fellow hellspawn, Laharl celebrated the successful passage of another year full of evil deeds, misdemeanours, and fervent denials of the presence of even a single shred of goodness in his heart.
It's gonna be harder for him to deny the existence of love, though, consider that it was he who confessed to Shinmyoumaru Sukuna, that they're now married and have two kids between them, and that they live under a thumb of a tyrannical overlord who won't allow married couples to exist in a state of anything other than "love" between them. Like a square watermelon, we've no choice but to grow to fit the box we're given.
Speaking of really-thousand-year-old beings with hair antennae, today Miko Toyosatomimi grew tired of her dyed hair and asked Okuu's Look-alike to treat her to a bathhouse, to which she readily complied. Oddly enough, several hours later Miko asked for yet another bath despite the dye having already washed out, and Okuu's Look-alike agreed again without complaint. Perhaps the unusually quick agreement to these requests may be due to the possibility that Okuu's Look-alike has a fetish for staring at Vocaloids who may actually be ancient Japanese princes naked and up to their neck in steaming bath water. Who sing pop songs. Both times.
Eew, look at that dandruff spilling from her hair.
I hear that regularly soaking in hot springs helps make one's libido grow as well. Perhaps Miko Toyosatomimi's experiences might be able to prove that, for shortly after her baths she asked Okuu's Look-alike for a very ... um, personal request. By which I mean procreating with Marisa Kirisame, of course, Okuu's Look-alike being a eugenicist enforcing a permission-based birth control policy on Gensokyo Island and most certainly not someone anyone, anyone in sound mind or with any interest in the continued existence of the world would want to procreate with. Permission to procreate was, as expected, granted.
It wasn't long after that Okuu's Look-alike received a similar quests from another islander, this time one who's already been known to be fond of introducing new Touhou characters to this world. That person being Junya Ohta, naturally, who was hoping to work together with Reimu Hakurei to add a Stage 5 boss to his latest game. This most recent declaration means that the pairing of ZUN and Reimu are now the sole holders of the couple with the most children, bringing Gensokyo Island to the illustrious new height of five children per family. I wonder what Chairman Mao would have to say about that one...?
Two dads ponder doing the naughty once again. Can you guess who the second character is from the quote alone?
All children (excepting Okuu's Look-alike, of course) have to grow up someday, and judging by the trend of things on Gensokyo Island recently Miko and ZUN and their respective spouses have a good chance of finally getting one of the children placed as a permanent resident - if it has the right combination of features and personality. Indeed, ZUN and Reimu's fourth child Junzo is here waiting with us at the docks, and he'd be pretty miffed if he had to look after a younger sibling her along with waiting for a ship. Wait ... but he'd probably be more upset and jealous if a younger sibling did receive an apartment ... so it's lose-lose. Such is the way of things among travellers at the port.
Today, we were also joined by Chiyo Mihama and Shikieiki Yamaxanadu's fourth child, the very imaginatively named Chiyoko (it's a real name, look it up), who was quite happily evicted from her parents' home and sent out into the cruel, cruel ... port, now the most junior of the 13 of us. Happily, I'd say, because her parents were pretty sure she'd be sent off as a traveller from the moment she was even conceived, though in the case of Chiyoko happiness was probably not a consideration. Welcome, Chiyoko, and I hope you like Umi's singing because you're gonna have to get used to it.
Lastly, here on Gensokyo Island we today witnessed a very unusual spectacle which, I daresay, has not happened on many other islands on this world. It was today that Konata Izumi proposed to her boyfriend, Ramza Beoulve, at the train station. That's not very rare in itself. However, what was especially uncommon about the pairing of Konata and Ramza was that Ramza just celebrated his 18th birthday earlier this month, and being 18 years old makes him technically an adult ... who's in love with Konata who's technically a child.
Hey, Shou, do you know what humans make from a tiger's ... Hot Dog? Now you do!
No, Shou, it isn't an improper relationship at all. It's perfectly legal since Konata and Ramza became sweethearts while both were still (technically) children, and Ramza just happened to be right on the cusp of being officially an adult. However, this created a rather odd situation where Ramza's acceptance of the proposal set the two on the path to marriage ... except that Konata wasn't of the legal age for marriage. So ... this happened.
A subtle change in the Age-o-matic text ... but it's only visible if you somehow get a adult and a child to be sweethearts.
Ramza's reaction to Konata's request for Okuu's Look-alike to use an Age-o-matic on her was... unusual, to say the least. He seemed perfectly happy, taking a seat at the corner of the room to watch what was a typical procedure for children desiring to get married, except in this case it was for only one member of the prospective couple. And that was what made all the difference...
Notice Ramza and Konata's heights. What do you mean Konata's taller than me now? If only I hadn't grown older I could have been taller, too!
Ramza's jaw dropped as the Age-o-matic worked its wonders, and granted Konata a totally awesome pair of high-heeled shoes out of nowhere that allowed her to stand several inches over Ramza now. Gosh, whoda thunkit. And, moral of the story, this is why people who are techniaclly adults really, really shouldn't be making out with people who are technically children. But Okuu's Look-alike didn't really care and was, indeed, laughing all the way to Konata and Ramza's wedding. Congratulations to the happy couple - just don't get height envy, little boy!
With Konata and Ramza's wedding, that brings the total number of wedded couples on Gensokyo Island to twenty in total, that's forty out of fifty-three islanders married! Wow, I'd hate to be one of the last thirteen unmarried singles - you'd have pretty much everyone around you and even the freaking security cameras asking 'Hey, so when are you popping the question?' pretty much every day. And mothers and mothers-in-law bothering you with cries of "Hey, I want grandkids!". Ugh. I'm so glad all I need to do is sail from island to island, see the world, and just stay alive.
Do you have this many married couples on your island? The drain on travel tickets is hellish!
On that note, of the thirteen remaining unmarried islanders, six are in a relationship, while the remaining seven are truly singletons. Of particular note is the fact that only two unattached adults remain - Suwako Moriya and Mister Kimura, meaning that if married and attached characters' relations stayed as they are these two would have no one to fall for but each other. And frankly, that's a match made in hell (or heaven, for a creepy lolicon like Mister Kimura).
Okuu's Look-alike, if you have any decency in you, you'd add some new islanders to give them an alternative match right now! She told me that she's been trying, but there were complications such as "not finding an actor that looks similar enough to the actual character", "looking for voice actors so they don't sound exactly the same as other islanders", and the usual crap like "I have no ideas and no time to think of new ideas". What a disaster.
In fact, as things stand, due to the lack of new adult islanders Gensokyo Island has grown to the point of what one might call a 'mature' island, where relationships are mostly fixed unless the island's dictator makes it a point to mess things up by deliberately being mean to them. And I have to say that though Okuu's Look-alike is in fact a pretty bad person, but I have yet to see signs of such behaviour.
But if we don't see some new residents invited to mix things up over the next few days, things might get just as monotonous in Mii Apartments as it is down here at the docks. Those are the growing pains of every island, and that's why any of us even need those otherwise utterly abhorrent dictators, anyway. Now get to it!
BUNBUNMARU NEWS, 30th January 2015
Happy 11th Birthday, Overlord Laharl?
Relationships and Marriage
Konata Izumi proposed to Ramza Beoulve today. He accepted! Congratulations to the newly married couple!
Children
Chiyoko, daughter of Chiyo Mihama and Shikieiki Yamaxanadu, grew up. She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!
Miko Toyosatomimi announced that her wife Marisa Kirisame was pregnant with their third child!
Junya Ohta announced that his wife Reimu Hakurei was pregnant with their fifth child!
Gensokyo Gourmands
Shou Toramaru tried some Tap Water today. He thought it was the Worst!
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