Um... right. Hello. It's Yuzu again.
I'm not even going to say that the inhabitants of Gensokyo Island were celebrating something new again (apart from the fact that I already said it) because the're always either always bizarrely happy about something or sunken into depression. It's always one way or another. That's why I don't place a shred of faith in anyone in the universe.
Thanks to Okuu's Look-alike's irresponsible decision not to implement any kind of contraception or birth control methods on this island, these couple of days have seen yet another batch of islanders gleefully and obliviously announcing the bringing of yet more bawling mounds of flesh into this earth.
Indeed, one creature has been born which held so much power, I daresay the entire island has now fallen under its sway. Spawn of bird and beast, this horrific homunculus immediately exerted its hold over not only its parents, but even Okuu's Look-alike. May I present to you the first and hopefully the last ever picture of that demonspawn,
Aww, look at the cute little anti-messiah!
Named Hoshi after the alternate pronunciation of Shou's name, the hell-beast swiftly had Okuu's Look-alike in its grasp, as she screamed "I don't care what it takes, I'm having this kid as a future islander!" So, it seems that this terrifying creature will make a permanent home among the denizens of Gensokyo Island, whom for all their power are helpless to resist.
"I will do anything. Twiddle his personality. Fudge around with his hair or facial features. He must stay on this island! Besides, we need more boys, too!" For Hoshi had been born with the same personality as his father, which is to say an Independent Artist, which would normally be grounds for immediate eviction, I mean traveller-hood according to Okuu's Look-alike's rules. But these rules are now bending in favour of granting this accursed being the right to transform Gensokyo Island into an extension of hell.
The groundbreaking effects of this monstrosity's birth were quickly felt all over the island. One of the first to succumb to its evil was the normally kind but psychologically broken Kyouko Kasodani., who immediately concocted a foul witch's brew to spread the monster's vile influence to other unsuspecting residents of Gensokyo Island. Kyouko's newly grown-up daughter Pochi, implanted with samples of this vile serum, was also packed up and sent on a mission of travel in order to spread this noxious contagion to helpless islands all around the world.
Don't believe her! Seriously, I have yet to find someone who likes that stuff!
However, this was only the beginning. A more unearthly transformation was taking place at that very moment on the opposite side of Gensokyo Island. Recette Lemongrass, part-time shopkeeper and aspiring fashionista, had invited several other Gensokyo Island residents to assist her in modelling her bespoke designer clothing. But the curse of the beast-child soon overtook the entire gathering.
The crowd which had gathered could only look on, aghast, as the slim, slender, and attractive legs of the ladies modelling Recette's fashions began to take on a slick, jelly-like consistency, before suddenly warping, abruptly and visibly, into writhing snakelike tentacles. The show was immediately cancelled, the fiasco having been recorded on film, and sacrifices were immediately offered to head priest ZUN in an attempt to dispel the eldritch enchantment that had befallen the place.
It's the fabled Fashion Show! Wow! But what the hell is wrong with their legs? Ugh, it's ghastly to behold.
The ones most severely affected by the shock of the monstrous child's birth were, unfortunately, the youth of Gensokyo Island. What is believed the be an attempted demonic possession of Yuyuko Saigyouji and Maximillian Magma's firstborn child, Koyomi, must have resulted in the poor kid's soul being completely displaced from its body. The only way to save her daughter, Yuyuko must have reasoned, must be to transfer part of her soul into the child, and in this she was successful. However, the eerie aftereffects of the attempted possession and subsequent ritual could be seen in how Koyomi's face warped to take on features that were unnervingly similar, almost identical to her mother.
Perhaps struck by one of those rare moments of remorse, Okuu's Look-alike hurriedly offered the poor maimed child a permanent apartment on Gensokyo Island and a lifetime subsidy of ... the usual stuff which Gensokyo Islanders are entitled to. A bone-chilling tale, indeed. Further effects of the demon child's birth could be seen on Sanae Kochiya and Baldren Gassenarl's newborn daughter, Kyrie, who laughed cruelly and viciously like a devilish imp upon observing the scene unfolding before her.
Even now, Gensokyo Island's specialists are inspecting Chiyo Mihama, wife of Shikieiki Yamaxanadu, who coincidentally announced her pregnancy almost immediately after Hoshi's birth. Already, one anti-messiah has been brought into this realm. Gensokyo Island ... no, this entire world, this reality, simply cannot survive another.
Yuyuko's daughter, Koyomi, who looks ... spookily a lot like her. Get it? Spooky? And the fluctuating moods of Baldren and Sanae's little beast Kyrie.
This was the round-up of the breaking news from Gensokyo Island - the birth of the beast-child, Hoshi, and its aftereffects on the hapless and unsuspecting residents of Gensokyo Island. Signing off for now, your humble junior reporter, Yuzu...
Oh, hello, miss Shameimaru. I thought you were off on maternity leave today. Oh, that wicked Okuu's Look-alike doesn't even give any annual leave? Ah, I see, you've been observing my broadcast. I do hope you've appreciated how I've followed your instructions to report the birth of your darling Hoshi in a way that was 'dramatic! awe-inspiring! earth-shaking! something that will permanently leave an impression on the minds of all our readers and viewers!'. Oh, yes.
Well, if that wasn't really what you wanted, maybe you should have been a little more specific. I did try my best after all. Besides, all I did was report the facts - you can't say that none of the things I mentioned never happened, can you? In fact, I bet right now one of Gensokyo Island's residents is keeling over from this oh-so newsworthy report. I guarantee it.
Archibald Aqua. Cause of temporary incapacitation - self-serving media moguls, I meant a serving of mouldy mangoes.
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 24th January 2015
Island Updates (Population 52)
Please welcome Koyomi Saigyouji, the newest resident of Gensokyo Island! She is a Confident Designer.
Children
Pochi, daughter of Kyouko Kasodani and Wriggle Nightbug, grew up! She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!
Kyrie was born to Sanae Kochiya and Baldren Gassenarl. It's their third child! She is an Easygoing Optimist.
Hoshi was born to Aya Shameimaru and Shou Toramaru. It's their third child! He is an Independent Artist.
Koyomi, daughter of Yuyuko Saigyouji and Maximillian Magma, grew up! She was invited to live on Gensokyo Island!
Shikieiki Yamaxanadu announced that her wife Chiyo Mihama was pregnant with their fourth child!
Shikieiki Yamaxanadu announced that her wife Chiyo Mihama was pregnant with their fourth child!
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 25th January 2015
Gensokyo Gourmands
Archibald Aqua tried some Mango today. He thought it was the Worst!
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