Lunatic New Year

Hey, hey hey hey, Kiba! You're always so buried in your comics and games, it's funny to see you out and about! Have you heard?

... huff ... pant ... What is it? I'm a little busy here...

There's a new islander who's just moved in! I was just about to head off to meet her! Wanna come with me?

... puff ... cough ... what's she like? Is she...

She calls herself a moon princess! You know, like the tale of the man, uh, woman on the moon, and the rabbits, and all that. Don't you know?

Ugh... that one... she wouldn't happen to go by the handle lunaticprincess@eientei.com, would she?

I... I don't know anything about that. But what makes you think so? Do you know her already?

Whew... well, she said she was going to fly over here to Gensokyo Island and beat me up in real life for saying her online husbando was crap. I thought she was just trolling at first, but when I heard about a 'moon princess' I thought it would be best to take some precautions...

Fly over here? What are you talking about? I don't think we're talking about the same person - I doubt Marisa Kirisame and Miko Toyosatomimi's daughter Toyoko would already know how to use a computer, never mind play online games!

Look at that face! She's adorable! I knew that this was the one... of Marisa and Miko's kids who'd finally earn a place in Mii Apartments.

Toyoko? Wait... so if she's Marisa and Miko's kid, how is she a moon princess again?

Hee... it's because Marisa said that Toyoko reminded her of a crazy moon princess she met some time ago, and it just so happens that that moon princess' name was Toyohime Watatsuki. So she and Miko decided to give their daughter the full name of Toyohime Kirisame, but to her parents she'll always be their lovely Toyoko. Isn't that so sweet?

.... sweet? I guess that's nice. At least she isn't that other crazy moon princess who's threatening to gut me in real life.

Other moon princess? What are you talking about, Kiba? I hope that after all those games you haven't lost the ability to differentiate between fantasy and reality!

I'm totally serious here! In fact, I was told to look out for a foreigner who had just applied to live here on Gensokyo Island and... OH MY KANAKO and SUWAKO, there she is! I'm getting out of here!!!

And there he goes, dashing off again., Hehe, he looks so awkward with that crazy stare and stumbling gait of his. And what's there to be afraid of from that stranger over there? She looks awfully relaxed. In fact, I think she's sleepwalking! Hmm... does she have a name tag somewhere?

Hmm... Name, Kaguya Houraisan. Occupation, moon princess and professional NEET. Health warning - disturb only at your own risk.

Help me, Eirin! I'm too lazy to go on holiday so you can go on my behalf.

I see... well, I think Kiba would be happy with a new playmate who shares his interests and hobbies. Two moon princess in two days, huh? And over the lunar new year? It's a veritable lunatic runagate over here. Wait, what does that even mean?

In any case, I think it works out in the end since Okuu's Look-alike was mentioning something about the proportion of characters based on the Touhou series falling below 50% of Gensokyo Island, and planning to do something about it in the near future. In fact, I've been informed by a reliable source that even following this... these new arrivals, Okuu's Look-alike is considering yet still more applications from other Touhou Project characters. I'm thrilled, it looks like we could see some action in the near future!

Speaking of the Lunar New Year, one of the most common traditions is the practice of families reuniting, even for a brief moment, to celebrate the occasion. And it just so happened that one of Gensokyo Island's émigrés, Alexandre, the son and first child of Yuuka Kazami and Augustine Sycamore, returned to spend a night back at his old folks' place! Not just that, but he also brought a foreign delicacy back as a gift for his parents... or rather for Okuu's Look-alike, who very quickly confiscated it as per Gensokyo Island contraband laws. What a stickler.

Please, sir, I want some more. Some more special foods that aren't dollops of crap on a banana-leaf style exotic, that is.

Likewise, another of Gensokyo Island's more fortunate sons, unable to return for this festive occasion, was conscientious enough to write back to let his parents know how he's getting along. Juntaro, the second son and third child of Reimu Hakurei and Junya Ohta, wrote back to tell of his adventures on Yui Island. That may sound familiar, as according to the records Juntaro had just departed Yui Island a month ago, meaning that he must have liked it so much he came back!

My verdict is still open on whether I have that same kind of positive opinion about Gensokyo Island yet, but Okuu's Look-alike tells me that she thinks she has that same feeling about Alexandre. After all, before coming here I travelled back and forth between Dubu Island and Yen's Island, and Alexandre seems to have taken my place as a hobo... I mean a frequent traveller on the ferries between the two islands. After all, each and every one of us is happy that a fellow traveller is not simply still alive (it's hard to overstate our satisfaction) but lucky enough to find a place they can call a home away from home.

Juntaro hanging out with Shiratori, a native of Yui Island who looks rather like a Japanese variety show host.

Like a new phase of the moon, a new (lunar) new year means a new start at life, and just like pretty much every other day, another couple on Gensokyo Island announced a further addition to their family today. Unyuho Morichika and Berthold Gregor celebrated the birth of their first child, a girl named Gloriana, who's also the first grandchild of Utsuho Reiuji and Rinnosuke Morichika. No doubt both parents and grandparents are proud, as Gen. Gregor stated that he chose the name specifically to evoke and honour the grandiose beauty of his homeland the East Europan Imperial Alliance. Um, not sure what Gloriana's mom and both grandparents have to say about that, but I'm pretty sure they're happy nonetheless.

Lastly, not to be outdone, Shikieiki Yamaxanadu also announced that she and Chiyo Mihama would be aiming for a fifth child, in an attempt to earn their place on Gensokyo Island. Gotta keep up with the Joneses, or rather the Hakureis and the Reiujis, as the case may be. Good luck to them, after all a couple whose primary concern is procreation is one who isn't spending time tearing chunks out of each other. Only on Gensokyo Island is a parent's job a happy one (happy one)!

Shiki Eiki finds inspiration in the fecundity of insects. In the meantime, Unyuho brings forth a child who's snarky from birth. Yes, it's a girl.

Whew, that's it for this lunar special! I'm sure Okuu's Look-alike must be over the moon from all the good news that's been going on these past couple of days. I wonder where Kiba's run off to now.

... she hacked my account??!! ...

Kiba, are you all right? Your eyes are... all glassed over.

... my data ... my records ... my rare items, all gone...

What are you talking about? You mean Kaguya Houraisan? She's just sleeping on the bench over there. How could she...

... I wish I'd been beaten up in real life instead. It would be a lot faster to heal from that ...

I worry for you, Kiba. I really do.

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 19th February 2015

Island Updates (Population 58)

Please welcome Kaguya Houraisan, the newest resident of Gensokyo Island! She is an Easygoing Buddy.

Traveller Updates

Alexandre returned from Yen's Island to visit his parents Yuuka Kazami and Augustine Sycamore! He has visited 2 islands so far.

Children

Shikieiki Yamaxanadu announced that her wife Chiyo Mihama was pregnant with their fifth child!  

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 20th February 2015

Island Updates (Population 59)

Please welcome Toyohime Kirisame, the newewst resident of Gensokyo Island! She is an Independent Free Spirit

 

Traveller Updates

Juntaro, son of Reimu Hakurei and Junya Ohta, wrote back from Yui Island! He has visited 4 islands so far.

Children

Toyoko, daughter of Marisa Kirisame and Miko Toyosatomimi, grew up. She was invited to live on Gensokyo Island!
Gloriana was born to Unyuho Morichika and Berthold Gregor. It's their first child! She is an Outgoing Leader.

Gotta Patch 'em All

Mmm... my eyes haven't seen the sunlight for a day. It's so blinding... ahem.

Kiba here. Sorry we weren't able to bring you a daily update yesterday. I was up all night on a raid... I mean write, that's it! Writing this totally awesome article. Also, our boss Aya Shameimaru mysteriously went missing all day and this time we're sure the Tiger Brand Hot Dogs weren't to blame. Or Shou Toramaru says she's sure, at least.

Mr. Iwata? Mr. Iwata? He seems to be occupied at the moment... with filming Aya Shameimaru in the bath.

On recent news, it seems to be the usual goings-on on the Gensokyo Island biological weapons ... I mean baby factory, with two more bawling timebombs churned out over the day and another two on the assembly line. Reimu Hakurei and Junya Ohta established a new Gensokyo Island record with their sixth successful product, their fourth son Junpei. It seems that they're also on course to set the record for most children packed off as travellers, as Okuu's Look-alike remained unmoved when begged to consider allowing one of their children to stay at last.

Another first was set today when Gary Oak finally discovered how exactly the day care gets those Pokémon eggs, when his wife Evil Spirit Mima presented him with a potential future Ghost type specialist. Their first child, a daughter named Phoebe, also made Okuu's Look-alike very happy - for being the first kid ever on whom she got the best possible outcome at the baby rocking minigame. Assuming permanent brain damage isn't the best possible outcome of course.

Junpei looks totally bemused while Phoebe smiles with her first pink flower-like mark on her head. Okuu and Gen. Gregor can only stare enviously.

Not to be outdone in either the 'most kids' or the 'first kid' department, today Utsuho Reiuji and Berthold Gregor each announced their forthcoming child-rearing plans. It's quite a coincidence, considering that Gen. Gregor's wife Unyuho Morichika is in fact Utsuho Reiuji's daughter. Perhaps Okuu gave her daughter a little lesson in the birds and the bees, or more rather the hell ravens and the firefly youkai.

In other experiments on living beings, Okuu's Look-alike has been happily noting the panophaly of reactions Gensokyo Island's residents make when they are fed miscellaneous food. Or is she running a business by selling the photographs to Aya who then uses it to blackmail them? That probably explains how she was able to afford that trip to the spa...

Pictured - Captain Minamitsu Murasa's reaction to the grotesque faces of the two islanders beside her.

Chronicling the highlights of Gensokyo Island's everyday happenings certainly generates a veritable mountain of records... or is it a mountain of unsold copies of the daily Bunbunmaru News? In any case, all this information needs to be stored somewhere safe and secure, and it just so happens that Gensokyo Island is blessed with its very own great unmoving library.

It just so happens that I'm quite well-acquainted with her, since she was playing my raid leader on World of Swordcraft Online last night. And she's the person who wrecked my awesome fleet in Ship Girls Collection PvP the other day. And the person who did that freaking 100% juggle combo on me over netplay on Touhou XX: Super Smash Sisters that one time... It's like she lives in a basement and does nothing but play computer games all day! How can such a person ever survive in this world .... ahem, well, I'm one to talk. Anyway, please meet today's star, the elemental master Patchouli Knowledge!

Patchouli Knowledge

All information correct as of 18 February 2015

 Proof that Patchouli is indeed a hikikomori... um, a book enthusiast.

Name: Patchouli Knowledge

Nickname: Patchouli

Date of Birth: 11th August 1996

Personality: Independent Lone Wolf

Favourite Colour: Pink

Quotation: "Mukiuuuu~!"

Patchouli Knowledge is the 4th Stage Boss character of Touhou 6: Embodiment of Scarlet Devil by Team Shanghai Alice, and also features as a partner character in Touhou 11: Subterranean Animism. She also appears as a playable character in all the fighting games and makes a cameo in the introduction or ending of nearly every game since her first appearance. She is a youkai magician who specialises in elemental magic, and manages the library (erroneously but familiarly known as 'Voile') beneath the Scarlet Devil Mansion. She's also asthmatic, anaemic, and one of the most physically frail characters in the series, which hinders her from letting loose her true power at all times.

Patchouli has been one of the most popular characters in the Touhou series since her introduction, whether it's for her contrast with the more free-spirited and combat-happy protagonists, her interesting fellow-magician dynamic with Marisa Kirisame (and Alice Margatroid), or fandom-created catchphrases like 'Mukyu!" and quirks like being a NEET basement dweller. It's only natural to want to have such a well-loved character on Gensokyo Island.

Thanks to not having an especially bizarre character design, it was a relatively easy task to add her to Gensokyo Island. That Nightcap is a godsend where Touhou characters are concerned, really. It's also only natural that she's of the most withdrawn personality type, the Lone Wolf, and I tried to give her an eyebag-like apperance to emphasise how much time she spends just studying books and playing online games... ahem. She doesn't care about foolish things like being flashy or standing out - her blank stare speaks for itself.

Mad Scientist Patchouli Knowledge and Mad Scientist Overlord Mao - a match made in the Netherworld.

Husband: Overlord Mao

Best Friend: Reimu Hakurei, formerly Overlord Mao

Children: Carmilla

My second declared OTP on Gensokyo Island, the love story of Patchouli Knowledge and Overlord Mao makes for heart-warming tale, albeit with a twist. Like Marisa Kirisame and Miko Toyosatomimi before them, Patchouli and Mao hit it off pretty much instantly despite being nearly opposite personalities. They'd do everything together, whether it was researching new sciences or demon-summoning grimoires, or having a go at each other on the Wii or the 3DS. However, there was a catch - Patchouli started off as an adult (with the latest possible birthday of 1996), while Mao was given the birthday corresponding to the actual date of release of his game, making him a child.

Now, I've heard rumours that the original Japanese game actually allowed adults and children to fall in love, with the child in the coupling asking for an Age-o-Matic when they were ready to get married. I don't know if that's true (let's not discuss the fracas about 'dummying out' homosexuality), but if such a thing did really exist this would be the perfect pairing for it. In any event my impatience soon got the better of me and I gave Mao an Age-o-Matic to make him an adult, but it was still some time before they even thought about turning their friendship into a romance. A bit of nudging by the other Miis on the island was needed, I admit. But the 100% compatibility rating (I know it's complete hokum, don't worry) got me fired up and determined to see them wedded.

So they got married, eventually. However, apart from their pre-marriage friendship, they've been very much like any other couple on the island with near-opposite personalities pairing up, being generally fine but frequently taking random heavy hits to their relations because the RNG clearly doesn't care about something called 'opposites attract'. So I guess that's the end of the story worth telling. As to her recently acquired best friend Reimu Hakurei... well, since Alice Margatroid stole Marisa right off the bat, the closest thing she can do is go for the next main character.

 Patchouli, Mao, and friends hard at work and at play. Notice Alice's presence in both scenes - looking for a chance to assassinate her love rival.

Food Preferences:

Worst Ever: Tempura

Okuu's Look-alike Rating - Tempura: Like. I find it hard to be enthusiastic about Tempura. It's fine, I guess, but the crux of the question is Tempura... what? Most of the time people think of Ebi Tempura - that's prawns, and I would never touch seafood willingly. How ever, there are many other things fried in tempura batter such as sweet potatoes and even chicken, which I wouldn't just gladly accept but I'd clamour for it. So I guess it mostly evens out- I don't have a grudge against Tempura, but whenever it's mentioned I'm usually left disappointed, except for the rare moments when I can actually find something I love.

Song Participation:

Marisa My Love, Ballad, joint-lead singer for Marisa Fan Club
 

Patchouli's that other person whom fandom portrays as being murderously crazy for Marisa Kirisame's affection. However, due to the limitations of her frail physique, she's often portrayed as being less pro-active about pursuing her one-sided love than Alice Margatroid. Instead, she's usually seen either plotting how to get revenge on Marisa for stealing her books, or secretly fantasising about all the things she'd do to Marisa once she finally gets her hands on her. And I should mention that fantasising includes copious drool and all kinds of kid-unfriendly noises.

 Patchouli's bizarre fascination with seafood - understandable seeing as to how she can't visit the sea, being confined to her library.

Apartment: Apt. 303

Islander Rating: High Tier

Like Baldren Gassenarl, Patchouli is one of those whose islander ranking has risen mostly in line with their tier, being relatively demanding but not having an All-Time Favourite food to push up their rating. Due to being somewhat withdrawn, it's extremely rare to find her hanging out with someone else, especially in the apartment of someone she only knows as a 'friend of a friend'. No doubt her introverted and somewhat dour nature means that what friends she makes mostly consists of those who cared enough to approach her in the first place, with the notable exception of anyone who loves either books or computer games.

Although she's mostly quiet with regard to the other islanders, it's easy to tell that Patchouli Knowledge is one who thinks deeply and feels passionately about very many things, but is unable to or chooses not to show it outwardly. Instead, she's mostly content to choose the path of doing what she knows and loves best, and lets the world (and Marisa Kirisame) come to her instead. Like all Touhou characters, however, it's never a good idea to rile her up. She might not be as muscled, but she's certainly constant as the North Star - she's the great unmoving library Patchouli Knowledge. Just don't 'borrow' her books like a certain black-white if you value your life.

 I know there's a Pyjamas item in game, but this dress better fits the appearance of her two-layered nightrobe.

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 17th February 2015

Children

Phoebe was born to Evil Spirit Mima and Gary Oak. It's their first child! She is an Outgoing Charmer.

Junpei was born to Reimu Hakurei and Junya Ohta. It's their sixth child! He is an Easygoing Optimist

Utsuho Reiuji announced that she was pregnant with her and Rinnosuke Morichika's sixth child!

Gensokyo Gourmands

Chiyo Mihama tried some Beef Jerky today. It's her All-Time Favourite food!

Minamitsu Murasa tried some Candy Corn today. She thought it was the Worst!  

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 18th February 2015

Children

Berthold Gregor announced that his wife Unyuho Morichika was pregnant with their first child!

Gensokyo Gourmands

Maximillian Magma tried some Celery today. It's his Favourite food!

Budding Supervillains

Hey, y'all! Toritori here with the daily... hee, this almost feels like I'm on the telly. It's weird when I think about it but I feel that I'm really getting into the swing of things here on Gensokyo Island. I mean, sure, the people here are weird as heck, but they sort of bounce off each other in their daily interactions and sort of balance out as being pretty decent folk as a whole in the end. It's like constructive interference... or is that destructive interference? I should have paid attention at school...

It was just a few days ago that Gensokyo Island finally filled the seventh floor of the Mii Apartments building, and according to what I've heard, it was actually a long and protracted process lasting about one and a half months, which was quite different from the previous floors of new residents who were invited in 'batches' rather than one at a time.

Perhaps this has signalled a change in how Okuu's Look-alike administers the island, or not. It's really hard to tell seeing how erratic she usually is. All the same, to commemorate this milestone in Gensokyo Island's development, we invited the seventh floor of residents to take a group photograph together. How does it look?

 They're probably staring in amazement at Aya Shameimaru's pant... I mean skirt, flapping in the wind.

Clockwise from the bottom left, that's Almaz, Chargeman, Hoshi, Nozomu, Reisen, Hinoko, Tia, and Koyomi. Five of them are children who were invited to move in, while the remaining three are new to the island. It is indeed quite a change, considering that before this point Okuu's Look-alike had only invited three children to stay in Mii Apartments and sent the rest off packing to travel the world. This also means that, given the trend of only one child from each married couple being invited to move in, eight out of eighteen couples have children living on Gensokyo Island, with ten more potentially being welcomed to join them.

Again, it has always puzzled islanders here as to what gives a child that magic factor which actually induces Okuu's Look-alike to want to invite them to stay, and it's really hard to discern. As we have seen recently, even having a completely agreeable personality type isn't necessarily good enough to make the cut. Nor is having a meaningful name or an attractive appearance. Recently, Marisa Kirisame and Miko Toyosatomimi were seen buying travel goods and provisions for their infant daughter Toyoko, perhaps already aware that she didn't have any of those key factors to persuade Okuu's Look-alike to let her stay.

And as for enshrining firsts in Gensokyo Island's history ... well, Okuu's Look-alike has again gone back on her promise and chose to send Yves, son and first child of Tia Arlert and Tadakichi Mihama and the first child to have four grandparents living on the island, off as a traveller. Way to build rapport with your underlings, miss overlord tyrant dictator person!

Two travellers to be. Left, Marisa and Miko's fourth child, their daughter Toyoko, while Yves the designer is packed off to see the world.

Again, when pressed for an explanation for going back on her word, Okuu's Look-alike could only mumble "He looks way too much like his dad". So looking like one's parents is a huge disadvantage? Isn't that how genetics works? Or... oh, I see, it has to do with their hairstyle, but hairstyles can be changed, can't they? Or is it just that Okuu's Look-alike lacks interesting original ideas to help build a character from scratch? Maybe that otaku Kiba could help with that!

Another problem Okuu's Look-alike has been reported to state regarding to slow rate of increase in Gensokyo Island's residents this time around was supposedly the lack of time and opportunities to interact with each and every islander. Okuu's Look-alike has been known to mostly ignore islanders unless they flag up a problem for her to assist with, and as a result the more demanding islanders receive more attention and quickly overshadow their more amenable counterparts. As a result of this, clear "Tier" divisions have arised between islanders of each batch, corresponding to each floor of Mii Apartments, although some have been able to transcend their station in life through fortune or fortitude. 

All the same, though, some islanders have argued that this so-called system of pandering to 'flags' is nothing more than a systematic surveillance system and to be quiet and to receive less gifts is ultimately more beneficial to one's privacy. Not to mention the immense bother caused by being forced to provide a gift and grudgingly mutter a compliment about someone they can barely stand. To gain the best of both worlds, new islanders are encouraged to supplement their usual quota of requests with putting in effort into networking amongst the already-established relationships of the more senior residents of Gensokyo Island.

Efforts at networking by the new residents themselves. Shinichi and Hinoko at a 'chance' encounter, while Nozomu seeks true despair from Yuuka.

Growth is inevitably in the nature of all living things, and the same could possibly also be said of Gensokyo Island, a living community. And it just so happens that who else would know better about growth than the subject of today's in-depth character profile. No, it's not John Maynard Keynes. I'm referring to Yuuka Kazami, the flower youkai and infamous sadist who considers genocide a most pleasurable game. It's no secret that pretty much the only way to ever have a conversation with her would be to discuss her favourite hobby, gardening, so with that in mind a kid like me put my life on the line to gether the following information. Treasure it well!

Yuuka Kazami 

All information correct as of 16 February 2015

 Yuuka hanging out with what she loves best - plants, flowers, and the absence of the stench of humans.

Name: Yuuka Kazami 

Nickname: Yuuka

Date of Birth: 14th August 1996

Personality: Independent Free Spirit

Favourite Colour: Red

Quotation: "Genocide is fun"

Yuuka Kazami is the 5th and 6th Stage Final Boss character of Touhou 4: Lotus Land Story by Team Shanghai Alice, and also appears as a playable character in Touhou 5: Mystic Square and Touhou 9: Phantasmagoria of Flower View. She is a youkai who specialises in the manipulation of flowers and plant life, but whom is widely considered to be one of the oldest and most powerful beings in Gensokyo and is rightfully feared by just about everyone. While she possesses a home in an alternate-dimension dream world called Mugenkan (which may or may not still exist), her favourite place is a field of sunflowers known as the Garden of the Sun, to which she lovingly tends. Vandals, trespassers, and pretty much anyone who she meets can thus probably expect to be obliterated.

In the Touhou fandom, Yuuka is revered as the 'Ultimate Sadistic Creature', the absolute pinnacle of wild and violent cruelty, thanks to her habit of not-so-subtly teasing and abusing anyone she meets in the games. As a result of a comment she made in the games, she is also rumoured to have participated in genocide of the residents of an alternate dimension and possibly humans as well, although this may have been another teasing 'joke'. Regardless of the truth of her interpretation by the fandom, it's just recommended that anyone interested in self-preservation stay far away from her.

Yuuka is the kind of person from whom a smile could mean either permission for your continued existence or your imminent doom, and that's reflected in her interpretation on Gensokyo Island with her inscrutable smirk. She also seems to be the kind of person who places great value on their appearance, whether in terms of beauty or intimidation, and I've tried to reflect that in the choice of gifts she possesses. As to whether she is actually evil and murderous, or not... well, that's open to interpretation, but it's a safe bet to say most islanders are wise enough not to tangle with her.

Yuuka proposes to Augustine Sycamore. The Pokémon Professor looks thrilled about catching for himself a legendary Grass type!

Husband: Augustine Sycamore

Best Friend: Kanako Yasaka, formerly Miko Toyosatomimi

Children: Alexandre, Lily

Ex-Sweethearts: Drake Kitazawa

Yuuka was the last of the third batch of islanders to be married, and her husband turned out to be Augustine Sycamore, a man from two floors higher in Mii Apartments. That's a long-distance relationship if there ever was one. However, the twists and turns of Yuuka's romantic entanglements here on Gensokyo Island are the subject of another ripping yarn. It's similar but not the same as the story of Shinmyoumaru Sukuna, Armin Arlert, and Overlord Laharl - it involves two men as well, but this time the villain was not the girl (suprising, considering it's Yuuka), but the one who got the girl in the end.

It all began when Sycamore was introduced to Gensokyo Island, and the first two friends he made were Yuuka, as well as Drake Kitazawa, a fellow professor who is more widely known by the name of Utonium. It just so happens that Sycamore, being a conscientious Buddy, decided that his pal Utonium needed a sweetheart and resolved to set him up with the other person he knew, Yuuka. It was a success - Yuuka and Utonium hooked up almost immediately.

However, things quickly began to sour. Perhaps the good-hearted Utonium found out about Yuuka's more unsavoury practices, or Yuuka had a bit of difficulty convincing him of participating in her... sadistic games. But the two soon began to fall out. It was then that Sycamore decided that enough was enough - if Utonium couldn't make Yuuka happy, he would, and he swooped in with a love confession, snatching Yuuka away and leaving Utonium clinically depressed at both his friend's and his sweetheart's betrayal. 

That was most certainly a dick move on the part of Sycamore. Why introduce a girl to someone, get them hitched, then snatch her away? What other explanation would suffice either than malice or a callous disregard for his friend's mental state? Utonium didn't blame Sycamore for doing this in the end, as the two are still friends to this date, but I can no longer look at Sycamore for using Yuuka as a tool to break his friend's heart. Well, that, and the kinky French bondage games the two are probably engaged in when Okuu's Look-alike isn't paying attention.

 Kyouko's eyes are as big as dinner plates. No, you really don't want to know what was going on in Yuuka's apartment.

Food Preferences:

All-Time Favourite: Spaghetti Peperoncino

Favourite: Barbecue

Worst: Watermelon

Okuu's Look-alike Rating - Watermelon: Dislike! I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that Watermelons aren't tasty at all. I find that they're hardly sweet despite some people's claims, and the grainy pulp has a horrid texture and a nasty bitter aftertaste. Give me plain water anytime, in my opinion the only use of a watermelon is smashing it for that Japanese beach game.

Song Participation:

Reach for the Throat, Musical, solo singer

Too Much Water, Techno, instrumentalist for Rogues' Gallery

Take On Me, Opera, solo singer

As you can see from the song list Yuuka is my go-to character when I feel like I want to get someone to sing a silly, non-original song. I don't know why I chose her but it could most likely be because of how she can be interpreted as a psychopath or just plain weird. Inspired by silly Youtube videos, I just lifted the songs directly and typed them in to see what Yuuka would do, and it gets me laughing every time.

 Whether Yuuka's actually an evil psych or just sociopathic is open to interpretation. But she is scary, no matter what!

Apartment: Apt. 302

Islander Rating: High Tier

Yuuka is the only character on Gensokyo Island, as far as I know, who faces the unique situation of having both her All-Time Favourite and Favourite foods as 3/4 fullness items. This would, in most circumstances, make it much harder to raise her happiness at the same rate as superstars like Junya Ohta with their 1/4 fullness favourites. However, because it's my policy to only feed islanders when they have an absolutely empty stomach, Yuuka's been able to maintain a rate of happiness growth very similar to the others.

Logically, this also means that there is no point whatsoever in feeding her her Favourite food (Barbecue), since both All-Time Favourite and Favourite cannot be eaten in the same sitting, save the very unlikely possibility that she needs immediate cheering up while still 1/4 full with a half-digested Spaghetti Peperoncino. That being said, I think Yuuka has the amazing distinction of being one of the few islanders to have never been depressed at any time in their history, for I have never had to feed her such filling consumables to cure her unhappiness. It must be those kinky sadistic practices of hers that keeps her going through thick and thin - and which encourage those fortunate enough to call her friend to never, ever make her mad.

Unlike Baldren from yesterday, Yuuka isn't a villain in the generally accepted sense of the word. She's not someone who actively threatens the order of society. In truth, as a Free Spirit, she just wants to be left alone, to enjoy herself with her flowers and her merciless teasing of any helpless moppets she can lay her hands on. Rather, it's things that upset the usual state of affairs, such as an unexplained mass blooming of flowers or a sudden influx of tourists from an alternate dimension, which drive her to act - and it's then that one should truly fear what she is capable of. 

So, if you love flowers, peace and quiet, and are a masochist, Yuuka Kazami is most definitely someone you can get along with. But take out a life insurance policy first, just in case.

Yuuka's always shown wearing that straw hat, even though she never actually wears a hat in canon. Strum that guitar!

BUNBUNMARU NEWS, 16th February 2015

Children

Yves, son of Tia Arlert and Tadakichi Mihama, grew up. He was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!

Gensokyo Gourmands

Hoshi Toramaru tried some Watermelon today. He thought it was the Worst!  

The Brave and the Bald

Today just feels like the biggest let-down ever. I mean, just watching that clock tick past midnight while you're playing out some fantasy romance with a 2-dimensional girlfriend really gets you thinking. If only..

If only I could just play games for the rest of my life, without a care in the world. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. The real world calling is an unwelcome distraction from the life I want to live. Sigh...

Uwah! Sorry, I was distracted with reminiscing. It's funny because one of the most significant byproducts (or perhaps the primary output) of real-life romance is children, and today Gensokyo Island invited its first-ever-born third-generation islander, that is to say the child of someone who was themselves a child of another islander, to move in to an apartment on the newly-refurbished eighth floor of Mii Apartments. Please welcome Shinichi Yasaka, son of Shanghai Margatroid and Kanako Yasaka.

Er, yes, both his parents are wearing dresses. Something wrong with that?

I've heard that Okuu's Look-alike had to pull a few strings to get Shinichi properly admitted as a resident of Gensokyo Island, such as the mandatory infusion of mind-altering drugs as is necessary for "Designer Babies". The result of such treatment meant that Shinichi was reassigned as a Confident Brainiac, which interestingly enough was the personality type of Matthias who was sent off as a traveller yesterday. A scandal? A conspiracy? Maybe...

That being said, Shinichi is truly the child of his parents and grandparents, as he has inherited traits from each of them. His eyebrows and mouth resemble his father Kanako's, while his eyes and nose match his mother Shanghai's - which she inherited in turn from her father Kyubey Incubator and her mother Alice Margatroid respectively. 

I'm certain his grandparents must be overjoyed that their genes have survived ... well, Kyubey most certainly was. On the other hand I heard that Alice was off wearing a magical girl outfit and fighting witches somewhere as part of a contract. Needless to say his parents were also happy beyond words - their Shinichi, the first child of the first child born on Gensokyo Island.

Speaking of milestones in child-rearing, a certain extremely motherly individual on Gensokyo Island is once again bearing ahead with a new record. Reimu Hakurei, the wife of Junya Ohta, today announced her sixth pregnancy, an incredibly high number heretofore considered inconceivable. We trust that her record child-bearing streak will remain impregnable for quite some time yet.

Reimu's doing her part, ZUN, so how about that new main series Touhou game?

Ironically, for such a paragon of child-raising, Reimu and ZUN have yet to have a single child accepted as a resident of Gensokyo Island. Okuu's Look-alike, having the final say in all islander admissions, refused to comment on the matter but was noted for brooding over not inviting the pair's first child Reiko to stay on as a resident. Hmm... perhaps Okuu's Look-alike is finding Reimu and ZUN's enthusiasm a little too much to bear.

Not to be outdone... well, she's already outdone, but not to be left behind like in the Touhou series games, Evil Spirit Mima also announced that she was pregnant with her first child with her husband Gary Oak. Y'know, perhaps Gary Oak might finally discover where baby Pokémon come from with the aid of his Ghost-type partner.

That being said, the lot of the children of Gensokyo Island who are forcibly sent off to explore the world seems to have been improving as of recent events. This Wednesday, Alexandre, the son of Yuuka Kazami and Augustine Sycamore was the first child to leave Gensokyo Island in over a month, on the ship that also brought in Toritori. Today, another soul was sent off into the great unknown, that being Carmilla, the daughter and only child of Patchouli Knowledge and Overlord Mao.

Welcome to Gensokyo Island. We export biological weapons and psychopaths. And also natty Round-Collared Blouses.

Come to think of it, since Carmilla is half youkai and half demon, perhaps the matter of another soul lost to the waves might not be an issue after all. No doubt Okuu's Look-alike isn't losing any sleep over it. It's like her motto is 'Shoot the Moon!', because sure as heck you can't reach it but the falling bullets will cause lots of collateral damage and random chaos seems to be more entertaining by far.

Speaking of someone who may well be half demon as well, whose hobby is causing lots of destruction, and who is probably one of Okuu's Look-alike's best chums on this island, we shall now move on to today's character profile. It's Lieutenant Colonel (ret. or something, it's complicated) Baldren Gassenarl, the first of at present four characters from the critically acclaimed Valkyria Chronicles series who have been invited to live on Gensokyo Island. Baldren? Why don't more people have a name like that? It's a pretty cool name...

See, my look-alike's kid agrees with me. Sorry, I may be a little biased in the text to come.

Baldren Gassenarl

All information correct as of 15 February 2015

I am Baldren Gassenarl, heed me now! I have no time for the idle, so read my profile!

Name: Baldren Gassenarl

Nickname: Baldren

Date of Birth: 21st January 1988

Personality: Confident Designer

Favourite Colour: Red

Quotation: "Heed me now!"

Baldren Gassenarl is an antagonist from the video game Valkyria Chronicles II for the PSP, by Sega, and he also appears as a cameo playable character in the prequel game Valkyria Chronicles III. He is a former soldier who held the rank of Lieutenant Colonel in the Gallian Army. However, he later rebelled against the Gallian crown along with his father and sibling(s) and became a general in the Gallian Revolutionary Army. Without saying too much, let's just say he is a really really important character in VC2, and he also plays a key role as a NPC in the turning point of the story of VC3.

Baldren's strongest characteristic is his fierce loyalty to the nation of Gallia, the country of his birth and of which he is a member of the nobility. However, that loyalty does not necessarily extend to the Gallian crown or for that matter anyone in authority, and he will challenge anyone to do what he believes is right to protect Gallia. At the same time, he is also a career soldier and while he can be very ruthless he has also demonstrated some morality, such as a refusal to use chemical weapons (although arguably that may be out of a fear of damaging his homeland than its cruelty). Lastly, and perhaps the reason why he's not as popular a character as others from the series, is the fact that he is extremely condescending toward the common folk and the militia, and he is an irredeemable racist, extending to committing genocide when he rebels against the Gallian Crown.

I don't want to defend Baldren too much. I agree that he's a very bad man, an unquestionably evil character, and he has done many horrible things, including discarding his ideals (and sanity) once his situation grew dire. However, I greatly admire his professionalism and his loyalty to his country (also explaining why I like Berthold Gregor), and while his extremist ways did lead to genocide his patriotism also led him to do some brave and unthinkable things to protect his ideals of defending Gallia with his own power. He isn't someone you might ever want to see in real life, but he's an outstanding character in a fictional story. And I also love his in-game voice and lines!

In my opinion, merging his role in VC2 with his backstory from VC3, Baldren is easily the most charming and memorable villain in the entire Valkyria Chronicles series. I knew from the beginning that I wanted to add him to Gensokyo Island, and the fact that his most distinctive facial features can be so faithfully reproduced in the limited repertoire of Mii Maker made him one of the first non-Touhou characters I designed.

Baldren Gassenarl and Sanae Kochiya? That's a crack pairing if there ever was one. Well... they're both genocidial in their own way...

Wife: Sanae Kochiya

Best Friend: Kikuchiyo Kanbei, formerly Kyouko Kasodani

Children: Adwin, Hinoko Gassenarl, Kyrie 

Despite being the first of the third batch of islanders introduced, Baldren was actually one of the last of them to get married, and to the driven but somewhat unstable Sanae Kochiya no less. Baldren and Sanae's marriage set a few firsts - it was the first marriage that occurred between residents of different batches, which is to say, living on different floors of Mii Apartments. It was also the first marriage between two people of the same personality group (both Confident), of which there are only two such marriages so far on Gensokyo Island, the other being between Tia Arlert and Tadakichi Mihama (both Outgoing).

 I had originally been planning to pair Baldren up with Yuuka Kazami, who is living in the apartment next to his. After all, I thought they'd be a good match, since they both have a somewhat favourable view of genocide... yes, this means they are both pretty nasty people you'll never want to meet in real life. However, despite knowing each other, they didn't seem interested in hooking up despite several attempted set-up dates by other islanders. 

However, once Baldren met Sanae from the floor upstairs, it was love at first sight - within a week, they were married. Those two girls might both be green-haired characters from the Touhou Project who commit genocide for a living, but Sanae genocides youkai, and Yuuka genocides humans and pretty much anything that gets in her way. Being a villain himself, Baldren was probably clever enough to know that you really shouldn't hang out with someone who wants to exterminate you and your entire race for fun and laughter.

I'll discuss Baldren and Sanae's children more on Sanae's page when it comes around, but their first son Adwin is actually named after Baldren's dog from VC2, just like Tadakichi Mihama. Kyrie, on the other hand, represents his interest in the eponymous Valkyria from his game. Maybe his liking dogs is the reason for befriending the (chronically depressed) Kyouko Kasodani? And Baldren and Kikuchiyo Kanbei are both aristocrats and professional soldiers, and they have the exact same personality, though Kanbei may be out of his league since he isn't even a villain at all! 

 

 With that face, sure... I totally believe you on that one. I bet that's what you say before you kill somebody.

Food Preferences:

Worst: Roast Chicken

Worst Ever: Red Chilli Pepper

Okuu's Look-alike Rating - Roast Chicken: Love! Damn it, Baldren, what have you been smoking to make you hate Roast Chicken so much? Is it peasant food or something, that's why you hate it? Even if that was the case, there are so many other things which could be considered more fit for the impoverished. This is just plain illogical. Maybe Baldren actually loves chickens very much, that's why he won't eat them.

Song Participation:

Too Much Water, Techno, joint-lead singer for Rogues'  Gallery    

In truth, my OTP or rather, crack best friend pairing is Baldren and Maximillian Magma of Pokémon Ruby fame. I just feel it's appropriate since both want to cover the world in magma, whether figuratively or literally, and they're both villains with a few redeeming qualities but whom ultimately take things way too far in pursuit of their ideals. They also both love the colour red, see technology as a means forward... they just have so much in common, they'd make a totally awesome villain team. It's a pity they aren't actually better friends here on Gensokyo Island.

I was warned - plain old ecoterrorists and rebellious regicidial genocidial self-mutilating sociopathic professional soldiers just don't get along.

Apartment: Apt. 301

Islander Rating: High Tier

Today, we move on to the third batch of eight islanders introduced and as expected, compared to the first two batches, their levels are noticeably lower. This is especially the case for Baldren, whom despite being a pretty demanding resident insistent that you "Heed him now!", has been unable to break into the higher tiers due to the lack of an All-Time Favourite food. Another strange thing is that he demands new living quarters, well, interior decorations rather often, however, this annoys me and causes me to instead award him the bog-standard "free" interiors upon levelling up instead of more shiny clothes or just outright ignore his demands. He's a bad guy after all, so I'm not beholden to him.

While he is unquestionably a bad guy, I do like Baldren very much, not just as a character but as a resident of Gensokyo Island, and I like to work him into comic situations with the more oddball characters, especially those from the Touhou series, contrasting with his deadpan seriousness to humourous effect. I also have the habit of labelling anyone he hangs around with or attempts to meet as potential or budding villains, joining some sort of conspiracy to overthrow... eh, I wonder who he could possibly be overthrowing here on Gensokyo Island.

Valkyria Chronicles II is a very divisive game, and of those who do enjoy the game the interpretations and opinions regarding its characters split the fanbase down the middle. Is Baldren a misguided hero, a mad extremist, or an irredeemably vile and bloodthirsty monster? Well, I'll tell you that here in Tomodachi Life at least he's a heck of a standout, determined to make his presence felt no matter what the situation. And he probably looks closest to the actual character than any other Mii I've ever created. So add this rebellious rabble-rouser to your island today and he'll turn it upside down!

Just, y'know, watch your back while you're at it.

He normally doesn't wear a hat, even in battle, so the laurel wreath represents his 'crowning victory', cough cough.

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 15th February 2015
 

Island Updates (Population 57)

Please welcome Shinichi Yasaka, the newest resident of Gensokyo Island! He is a Confident Brainiac. 

 

Traveller Updates

A boat from Columbus Island arrived. Carmilla departed.
 

Relationships and Marriage

Kyouko Kasodani and Archibald Aqua became best friends!
 

Children

Toyoko was born to Marisa Kirisame and Miko Toyosatomimi. It's their fourth child! She is an Easygoing Buddy.

Shinichi, son of Shanghai Margatroid and Kanako Yasaka, grew up. He was invited to live on Gensokyo Island!

Evil Spirit Mima announced that she was pregnant with her and Gary Oak's first child!

Reimu Hakurei announced that she was pregnant with her and Junya Ohta's sixth child!