Dropping the Torch

... please don't hate me...

I feel that I can't go on any more. Without Umi's light, this wretched Gensokyo Island is like a deep, dark pit, a black hole which drains away all thoughts of happiness and hope. When I first arrived here, terrified and trembling, it was she who provided my inspiration and confidence - not through her words to me but through her deeds, conducting herself in an optimistic yet dignified manner. 

And now... my pillar of light is gone. Sympathy, aspiration ... all those things mean nothing to me now, trapped in this distant, forsaken, demon-infested hellhole. Least of all, that blood-sucking gadfly, Yuzu, who hovers about me with a persistence unknown even among the more horrid denizens of Gensokyo Island. "For your own good", she says, "Listen to me because I'm still your senior by several months", she says. And I'd listen, too, if she wasn't an outright sociopath!

My grim reality is only further darkened by the arrival of two more prospective travellers at the docks, here to steal away yet more of what little remains of our rations, living space, and toilet time, with the knowledge of two more yet to come tomorrow. At this rate, we'll have to make a deal over beach-combing, dump-raiding, and other scavenging spots next.

Because I wanted to make a change from using those album photographs. Also, Mushihiko looks just like Wriggle apart from the eyes.

Minosuke, son of Okuu and Kourin, and Mushihiko, son of Kyouko and Wriggle, were sent off to be travellers today by the dictatorial command of Okuu's Look-alike, as I'm absolutely certain their parents didn't have the slightest say in the matter at all. Tomorrow, Yuuko, daughter of Yuyuko and Maxie, and Almaz, son of Konata and Ramza, are pretty much certain to join them too, as Okuu's Look-alike has signalled at much. Four more travellers competing for what little resources there are allocated to the port... it's a wonder no one's died of starvation or exposure yet.

The irresponsible behaviour of Okuu's Look-alike continued today as she again approved new attempts by the residents of Gensokyo Island to procreate. I know Umi always sang something about letting love find its course, but well, as pretty much any beleaguered teenage parent knows, pregnancy is a rather nasty side effect. I'm happy she never had to worry, though, since the stage she set up and the vegetables she received every day were more than enough to keep her going. I'll always treasure ... this slug she picked off that mouldy lettuce to give to me...

I guess we're going to see a bumper crop of blondes in the near future... hair colour's important when choosing a name!

Two couples who have yet to have one of their children invited to live on Gensokyo Island today announced their plans for another child. Well, more accurately it's the very first child of Shanghai Margatroid and Kanako Yasaka, but it will be the third for Margit Ravelli and Archibald Aqua. All the same, I'm pretty sure that Okuu's Look-alike won't be interested in inviting either of those children to stay, again due to a supposed 'lack of ideas' or another dumb excuse like 'too blonde'. Heck, the pigment's drained out of my hair from all the suffering I've endured on this stupid island, maybe that's why I have such rotten luck.

I wonder if Umi's all right ... I can't stop thinking about her. Every bone in my body... no, every fibre of my being trembles in fear wondering how she'll end up. I dug up the files from Gensokyo Island's immigration office to try to calm my fears, that she'll be okay... Yuzu says she'll be fine, but I can't relax until I've convinced myself of it, and I don't trust that creep one bit anyhow. 

 The statistics from Gotchi Island from Yuzu's arrival and Umi's departure. No problems have been solved at all, but travellers seem to be processed...

Umi... no, I know now. Umi-senpai. That's what you always wanted us to call you, but I could never summon the courage. If only you could notice me now! Is there a God in this world? And I don't mean wannabes like Kanako Yasaka and Suwako Moriya, I mean someone, some being possessed of a goodness of heart who can and will actually help a poor soul like me?

Take me, oh greater being! All I want is to leave this place, to renew my search for my lost love Umi once more, for my life is meaningless should I remain. Will no one deliver me from this irksome place?

... wait, what's that in the distance? Is there really a God after all? A cargo boat? Take me, take me, o long awaited savior! I place my life into your hands!

I'd be a little wary of those guys if I were you, Hito, but... I'm glad I'm not. Rest in psychopaths, dear friend.

What?! Did he... did he really jump? Hito, you idiot! Would you trust outright some maniac who directly advertises himself as a psychopath? You... I can't believe this! You've made me worried, you idiot! That's why a moron like you shouldn't have any free will! If you had any common sense, you'd ...

Ah... stupid, stupid Yuzu... am I really crying? Somehow, being the best, the smartest, the most cynical... doesn't mean anything anymore if there's no one else to compare with, if there's no one else to boast to about it, if there's no one to snark about... Hito you damned moron, how could you leave just like that? You've... you've disappointed m...

No, I've disappointed myself. I can't believe, I can't accept that I'm upset over something like this. And there I drew up this report, ready to make some witty comments about our boss Aya Shameimaru while Hito would pore over it... it's hard to believe that those times are over now. Death is sudden, isn't it? Heh heh...

That's right, Hito, you're dead. And it's all your fault that I killed you, yes. I killed you in my mind. You're dead to me... *sniff* ... you died when you left without telling me. And I'm so happy that I've finally delivered the ultimate insult to you... *sniff* ... see, I warned you, but you never listened.

Haha, I'm not in denial, nope, I'm so happy that you finally got your just desserts for your naïvete, and I... ahaha... I'm finally being punished for never once being nice to you. It feels so good... heh...

Ahaha... is that... I'm not hallucinating, am I? I certainly wish I could say I was, but... I'm not. I don't understand this at all, but reality has finally beckoned to me from without this nebulous dreamworld I've inhabited for a month. Yuzu, empty your mind, forget everyone... the idiots on this island, Okuu's Look-alike, Umi-senpai, Hito... ah... I'm entering a fugue state...

Aha... ahaha... ahahahahaha!!!! Swallow me up too, you god-damned world!

And there goes the last of our original point-of-view characters. Rest in pessimism, Yuzu, you will be missed.

Whoa, man! That was quite a ride, but I'm finally on solid ground again! 

Wow, this place is popular, just look at all those people at the port! And it must be a pretty fun place too. Did you see how that wacko girl with the orange hair was laughing her eyes out? Man oh man! Is there some kind of convention going on here? An anime festival? Comiket??? Gensokyo Island?!

Oh, what's this book the girl dropped? Something about... Aya Shameimaru...?! That Aya Shameimaru?! Oh my god oh my god, I have to find out about this right now! Gensokyo Island, look out! Kiba is here!

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 8th February 2015

Traveller Updates 

A boat from Psychopath Island arrived! Hito of Hawai Island departed.

A boat from Naga Island arrived! Kiba of Maasa Island alighted, Yuzu of Ninten Island departed.

Children

Minosuke, son of Utsuho Reiuji and Rinnosuke Morichika, grew up. He was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!

Mushihiko, son of Kyouko Kasodani and Wriggle Nightbug, grew up. He was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!

Shanghai Margatroid announced that she was pregnant with her and Kanako Yasaka's first child!

Margit Ravelli announced that she was pregnant with her and Archibald Aqua's third child!

Gensokyo Gourmands

Suwako Moriya tried a Brownie today. It's her All-Time Favourite food! 

The Young Ones

Um, it's me. Yuzu here. And yes, Hito is here too, and conscious this time. Conscious of his fate, that is. 

Umi might be gone, but our workload as junior journalists certainly hasn't eased up - in fact, it's naturally gone up now that there's only two of us to do the job. Not like Umi ever did very much, anyway, spending most of her time holding those 'concerts' of hers - or shouldn't they be donation drives for mouldy fruit and vegetables, really? She learned a thing or two from Reimu Hakurei, it seems.

That being said, our boss Aya Shameimaru seems to have disappeared the last couple of days. Perhaps she's been seeking out a new and improved type of chilli dog to imitate a certain speed-obsessed rodent.

Speaking of rodents, Gensokyo Island's breeding campaign continues to bear fruit as today Okuu's Look-alike armed and equipped several more biological warheads ready to be launched out into this world to spread the plague of wacky punchlines and Touhou Project references. Let's take a quick glance at the intelligence, or rather the unintelligence.

From left to right, ZUN and Reimu with Reika, Miko and Marisa with Maiko, and Sycamore and Yuuka with Lily. They're quite decent, actually.

From what I can tell, Okuu's Look-alike actually had half a mind to invite any one of these three children to become residents of Gensokyo Island The other half a mind must have gone missing somewhere, as her stated reason for packing them off was the usual excuse that she had 'no idea what they could become'. 

Such an unflattering statement about their child's future prospects did not seem to faze the parents, as they all happily obliged to having their kids packed off despite none of them yet having a child invited to move in. Or perhaps it was the omnipresent threat of the firing squad which moved them. It's not like these children don't have personalities, you know? Reika looks like the strong and silent type, Maiko seems like quite the little minx, and Lily looks like she has the potential to learn much from her mother... okay, that last one probably necessitates a deportation for the good of us all, rest of the world be damned.

That being said, we travellers were all children once, and we still are... physically, even if after a few successful voyages one realises that the only way to survive is to abandon any semblance of childlike thought. I therefore don't deny feeling a little envious when I see children with the fortune of being accepted into Mii Apartments (if one can call near-24 hour surveilance by Okuu's Look-alike a better fortune than just death) indulging in activities that will never be open to us. "Growing up" and "getting married", for instance.

Interestingly enough only one of any future child's grandparents will be a Touhou character. How's that for diversity?

Again, not because I "love" anyone or want to "marry" anyone, of course. I'm just envious of those able to experience a new perspective on life instead of being stuck with this perpetually sour world view. Today, Tadakichi Mihama proposed to his sweetheart Tia Arlert at the amusement park, but the funny thing is Tia was only born a few weeks ago, after I've arrived here, in fact. The thought of them... procreating just barely after having been born... you know that rodent metaphor I was on a while ago? Maybe fruit flies might be a better comparison.

However, it's also an important landmark for Gensokyo Island, as this is the absolute first time that two second-generation islanders have decided to get married, meaning that if their marriage produces any children, four of the current islanders will then have grandchildren. I wonder if they'll regard each other differently after that, although I can't say I'd envy a kid with four nutty grandparents living in close proximity to them...

Oh, Hito's come back to the docks, did he run somewhere earlier to mope about still missing Umi? What's that? You've got news? Whaaaaat???

Fumiko's 'Fumi' is just another pronunciation of the character for Aya. No relation to Fumoffu or the sort at all.

Now even I'm surprised! Our boss Aya was pregnant all this time? How did she hide it? Maybe she ran so fast she managed to dilate time itself? Or was it some special type of tiger Hot Dogs again? I'm banking on the tiger-style Hot Dogs, because her new child Fumiko seems to again have the same personality as her dad Shou, just like Hoshi did. I sense some black magic here...

What? You say that she kept it from me so I wouldn't write another stupid crappy article about an anti-messiah and get the other islanders to try to burn her at the stake? Why would I ever do such a thing? And I don't need to do anything at all for other islanders to want to burn Aya at the stake for her paparazzi ways anyway.

Ugh, more babies. Well, at least it fits in the theme of today's report, anyway. Last of all, today some residents of Gensokyo Island partook of yet another celebration of youth, or more rather the successful attainment eternal youth through dark magics.

 Actually, it's 1443 years old. It's also a nice touch that the game picked the other Ten Desires character to present the news.

Miko Toyosatomimi, also known as 'Prince Shoutoku', celebrated yet another year of his/her/whatever's pretty much eternal life today alongside wife Marisa Kirisame, best friend Armin Arlert, both disguised as demons as part of the life-extending ritual. Maximillian Magma and Augustine Sycamore behind Miko may have been intended as sacrifices, but in any case it was not necessary since Miko's health seemed perfectly fine for the crusty old age of 115 1443, that's one thousand four hundred and forty-three years, folks.

I really shouldn't be too concerned, though. Even though Miko's some kind of religious fundamentalist evangelist who's also a dab hand at summoning a rain of bullets, she seems one of the more reasonable, or more accurately less psychopathic people on this island. One wonders if those thousand-over years have preserved the open-mindedness of youth, or bred out its impatience and brashness.

What's that, Hito? An assignment. I see, but there won't be time to complete it now. You'll have to deal with it when you finally quit mourning and get back on the job tomorrow It's the fifth stage of grief, you know, when you look back, smack yourself in the head and wonder aloud "so why the heck was I so upset in the first place just because someone I cared about very much died a terrible death". Yes, I know it's unlikely she's dead, but the metaphor holds.

Oh... we have to interview the last of the shorties on the second floor of Mii Apartments. This one's going to be a real toughie... Overlord Laharl, the famously dimunitive demon lord with hair antennae and a fondness for either going shirtless or wearing maid outfits. This'll be good.

That was a good match! So those crazy travellers are interviewing you next? Good luck, you'll need it.

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 6th February 2015

Children

Reika, daughter of Reimu Hakurei and Junya Ohta, grew up! She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!

Maiko, daughter of Marisa Kirisame and Miko Toyosatomimi, grew up! She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!

Aya Shameimaru announced that she was pregnant with her and Shou Toramaru's fourth child!

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 7th February 2015

Happy 1443rd Birthday, Miko Toyosatomimi!

Relationships and Marriage

Tadakichi Mihama proposed to Tia Arlert today. She accepted! Congratulations to the newly married couple!

Children

Lily, daughter of Yuuka Kazami and Augustine Sycamore, grew up! She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!

Fumiko was born to Aya Shameimaru and Shou Toramaru. It's their fourth child! She is an Independent Artist.

Gensokyo Gourmands

Overlord Laharl tried some Tea today. It's his All-Time Favourite food!

Star-Crossed Love

She's gone. She's really gone.

Umi... I never got the chance to tell you... I love... you...r singing.

Yuzu tells me she's gone to a decent place. Gotchi Island - that's where Yuzu last was before coming here to Gensokyo Island, wasn't it? So I can check the customs office for the island's details. Yes, yes, I'll do that...

I mean, according to the records the cargo boat left, Gotchi Island's owner has, um, not solved any new problems at all since Yuzu arrived. But he or she has dealt with over ten travellers! Whether they actually left alive or not, I can't know, but if Yuzu survived there, then I'm sure Umi will, too, isn't that right? Yes, I know she can do it, I believe in her. I know it!

....Argh! That's the first stages of grief, isn't it? Denial? What's next? Pretending that she's gone to a 'better place', that we never ever met at all, that I'm totally okay... and then I dash my head out against the lamp-post. I might as well cut straight to the end point, shouldn't I?

Yuzu... don't smirk at me like that. You're... gonna watch me kill myself with that grin on your face, aren't you? I... I won't give you that satisfaction. I'll live. I'll live for Umi. We'll meet again, one day, in a better place. Yes, we will! I...

... is that a rock you've got with you? With a bloodstain on it? Is that... my blood? What the hell are you doing!!!.....

The aftermath of Umi's disappearance. Not shown - a long long trail of travellers yet to get to the port.

... um, yes. It's me. As tempting as it would be to have a corpse handy to attract tasty rats, I'd have a little difficult explaining the extra set of boys' clothing. So, unfortunately I had to discourage Hito from his suicide attempt. Whether he was actually going to follow through with it or not.

Love sure is a nasty little thing, isn't it? It can drive people to the pinnacle of madness, send them spiralling into the darkest depths. Hehe... me? I prefer to call it, shall we say, 'concern for the general well-being of those in the immediate vicinity'. I like to take it upon myself to do what needs to be done so others can understand 'love' a little better and learn to deal with it in a sensible manner.

Why, take for example the cae of Rin Kaenbyou and Kikuchiyo Kanbei, two residents from the sixth level of Mii Apartments here on Gensokyo Island. Although the two had been 'induced' into a relationship by another resident who clearly sought to manipulate them for fun and laughter, even the normally dotty, semi-senile Kanbei was starting to realise the crazy and hyperactive Orin wasn't really the type of girl for him. And yet Orin seemed to love Kanbei very much, perhaps for the sheer amount of rings she could run around him both physically and psychologically.

In other words, Orin was crazy in love with Kanbei, but Kanbei was starting to detest Orin. Then today Orin proposed to him.

Marriages are happy and all but really, Miis shouldn't accept if their opinion of the proposing party is too low. Minigame be damned.

The dolt accepted, blissfully agreeing to chain himself in the bonds of matrimony, completely forgetting his previous concerns about his partner's erratic mental stability. Perhaps Okuu's Look-alike had a part to play as well, always being eager to help the residents of Gensokyo Island on whatever course they choose no matter how stupid and self-destructive.

That, of course, doesn't really excuse the other horrible things Okuu's Look-alike does on her own initiative, supposedly out of 'love' for the residents. Just today, she finally gave in and invited Shanghai'ed (pardon the pun) some defenceless sap into becoming a new resident of Gensokyo Island. Okuu's Look-alike then proceeded to use this individual as a guinea pig, or more accurately a testing rabbit for all sorts of personality-modifying drugs, before utilising the test results to minutely tweak the attitudes of some pre-existing residents.

"All this testing is to ensure a balanced mix of personalities, of course," Okuu's Look-alike claimed, "and besides that's what Reisen's boss always uses her for." Yes, please welcome the newest resident of Gensokyo Island, the hapless little bunny only good for her sex appeal, Reisen Udongein Inaba.

 I'm truly surprised, and delighted, that her entire name exactly fits into the entry box.

Ah, yes. But back to the topic. Love is a really fickle thing, isn't it? Okuu's Look-alike's love for the helpless inhabitants of her island has driven her to take such drastic and outrageous measures. Heh, perhaps the two of us are rather alike, no?

But the most irksome sort of love is one that can't decide what it is. A love that is neither directed an a single target, nor seeking to spread itself universally among all it can reach. Yes, love torn between two (or more!) objectives is a frightful abomination, deadly to itself and others. It should be strangled as a bud ere it ensnare others and drag them into its maw, suffocating together in an asphyxiated mass.

Oh, sorry, please excuse me. I was distracted by the thoughts of asphyxiation and love. What I meant to say is you really shouldn't be loving two people at once. It's bad.

The targets were Ken Izumi and Tadakichi Mihama. So what if there's an obvious choice of a bachelor? Put your heart into it!

With that being said, if you're going to love someone, it's best that you focus all of your energy on that one person. Yes, just one target, upon which you'll concentrate all your attention, devote all your energy, and you'll never ever let them ignore you, never let them escape, never, ever, ever let them even see anyone else besides you... and your love.

Oh, that sounds a little obsessive? Perverse, even? Well, yes, I suppose that's right, and that's why I hesitate to call my, shall we say, 'concern' for anything as 'love'. As a point of reference, I'd like to direct you instead to a certain individual whose every waking moment is devoted to the pursuit of just one person. 

Aye, regardless of the barriers of age, gender, the presence of spouses on either side... Please allow me to direct you to today's showcased resident - Alice Margatroid.

Alice Margatroid

All information correct as of 5 February 2015

 I'd like to get to know Marisa better... in bed. Maybe we could travel together... in bed.

Name: Alice Margatroid

Nickname: Alice (pronounced 'The Doll Maniac')

Date of Birth: 21st November 1998

Personality: Independent Artist

Favourite Colour: Light Blue

Quotation: "7-colored magic!"

Alice Margatroid is the Stage 3 Boss character of Touhou 5: Mystic Square and the Stage 3 Boss character of Touhou 7: Perfect Cherry Blossom. She also appears as an ally in several other of the main series games, and is a playable character and possible opponent in the fighting games. Alice is a youkai magician who specialises in the manipulation of dolls, who is possibly formerly a human. She also possesses a special grimoire which is believed to contain her most powerful magic.

Canonically, Alice is a somewhat aloof, enigmatic magician with a sort of friendly rivalry with Marisa Kirisame, the main character who is a witch. In fandom, however... let's just say that her persuasions have been depicted as perversions of epic levels, most specifically her fascination with dolls and her tenuous relationship with Marisa. So... guess which side of her is depicted on Gensokyo Island? Actual Alice fans might like to stop reading here...

In truth, bearing in mind that having both characters of the same gender would make it impossible to have a romantic relationship (no discussion please), I originally modeled Alice's character after her interpretation from Mystic Square. That is to say, a sort of an aggressive, creepy child who's empowered by the magic of her grimoire, and who had no special relationship with Marisa or any other pre-existing characters. And then Tomodachi Life decided to bring her and Marisa together...

 Those closest to her share their thoughts about Alice. They're all in agreement (albeit with Kyubey using sarcasm).

Husband: Kyubey Incubator

Best Friend: Marisa Kirisame (squee!)

Children: Shanghai Margatroid, Juubey, Cubey

Yes, the game decided that Alice and Marisa should become best friends. So I just decided to roll with it and treat her as sort of secretly... actually, quite openly lusting for Marisa, while still being married to Kyubey. Needless to say, it does strain their marriage somewhat, although I also suspect that marrying Kyubey was part of the deal, getting her to sell soul in order to become as close as is possible with Marisa. As Hitomi from Puella Magi Madoka Magica would say, "But that's forbidden love!"

I also suspect that Alice must have made a deal with Kyubey to have a perfectly normal child in the form of Shanghai Margatroid. As the first child to be born and the oldest second-generation islander, Shanghai was most definitely the centre of everyone's attention at the time she was born, and she has definitely earned her place in Gensokyo Island's hierarchy. In exchange, however, Kyubey must have also taken the souls of all of Alice's future children as their two subsequent children have ended up looking pretty much like Kyubey. Okay, in truth, they were truly horrible freaks, so I edited them to look like Kyubey so we could blame it on him. But that story still holds.

The first, and only baby photo I've ever taken. The photo booth is probably my least visited place.

Food Preferences:

All-Time Favourite: Smoothie

For Okuu's Look-alike's rating of Smoothies, go check Rinnosuke Morichika's entry. Suffice to say, I'd like to keep that one of the few things about which I have similarities with Alice.

Song Participation:  

Marisa My Love, Ballad, joint lead singer for Marisa Fan Club

It's self-explanatory. Alice sings about doing unspeakable things to Marisa's unspeakables, alongside Patchouli Knowledge. The song concludes with both Alice and Patchouli realising they need to exterminate everything else on the planet that could possibly be a rival for Marisa's love, starting with each other.

The best way for a much feared person to make friends would be to disguise yourself. And blind everyone else. And give out burgers.

Apartment: Apt. 207

Islander Rating: Borderline Top Tier

Alice is ranked extremely highly in Gensokyo Island's hierarchy, primarily due to threatening to kill me if I didn't let her stand alongside the god tier Marisa. Ahem. She's made the best progress out of all of the second batch of islanders thanks to having a 1/4 fullness all-time favourite food, as well as being very demanding indeed and thus giving plenty of opportunities to fill up her happiness. 

A prideful and vain fashionista like her, seeking all sorts of charms in order to woo Marisa, is constantly demanding new clothes and hats. Thankfully, she seems extremely content with her Art Gallery room decor, which probably fits her whacked-out Artist personality as someone who's maniacally obsessed, I mean extremely enthusiastic about crafting dolls. In terms of friends, she seems to be mostly tolerated by everyone as they naturally wouldn't want to get too close to her, but also want to keep out of her bad books - as a result she's often near the top of the popularity rankings despite not having that many genuinely close friends. She probably threatened to poison or dynamite anyone who didn't vote for her and Marisa. 

Alice Margatroid is... an emotionally needy, possessive, demanding, control freak who really, really most desires Marisa's unspeakables someone who can understand her and pander to her needs. She has the mind of a child but the attitude of a very assertive adult - the kind of person who's never nice, least of all when she's insisting you think that she's nice. Dare you open this grimoire and unleash the seven-coloured typhoon on your island?

(Marisa figure with visible doll-joints not included)

Yes, it's her Mystic Square look, but aged up. I'm still working on her Perfect Cherry Blossom outfit...

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 5th February 2015

Island Updates (Population 54) 

Please welcome Reisen Udongein Inaba, the newest resident of Gensokyo Island! She is an Easygoing Dreamer.

Relationships and Marriage

Utsuho Reiuji and Overlord Mao became best friends!

Rin Kaenbyou proposed to Kikuchiyo Kanbei today. He accepted! Congratulations to the newly married couple!

Children

Frederick, son of Recette Lemongrass and Armin Arlert, grew up. He was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!

Gensokyo Gourmands

Sanae Kochiya tried a Flan today. She thought it was the Worst Ever! 

Before the Storm

It's quiet... too quiet.

Well, actually, it isn't. The muted bawling of babies, like the growls of a distant thunderstorm, can be heard over the wind down here at the port, and I fear ... nay, I know that soon it will crecendo into a hurricane, sweeping all before it in its path, inundanting this land and drowning what little remains of peace, solitude, and individualism on this island.

That's why I cherish the quiet. It's through nurturing my inner peace such that I may stand firm even when the world around me is in tumult.

Totally not copied from a self-help booklet somewhere or anything. Inner peace, mon.

Already today two of the prophesied children have been brought onto this wretched earth, mewling and puking in their mothers' arms. Minosuke, the fifth child and third son of Utsuho Reiuji and Rinnosuke Morichika, was thankfully rather normal for a child. In contrast, Kyouko Kasodani and Wriggle Nightbug's wish to finally have a son (at the cost of their souls, perhaps) seems to have come true, with the birth of their fifth child Mushihiko. Taking much of his appearance from his father, it seems that their child would be one of the best advertisements for bug spray if there ever was one.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring? The other couples, Yuyuko Saigyouji and Maximillian Magma, and Konata Izumi and Ramza Beoulve have yet to report on their fleshy little creations. If only I could say that no news was good news...

Nothing really much to see with Okuu and Kourin's little bundle of joy, but as for Mushihiko ... you'd be grumpy too if you were born a bug.

Apart from this unshakeable feeling of dread knowing that two more of these gurgling mounds of flesh will be brought into this world tomorrow and the completely bizarre names Okuu's Look-alike will give them, it was a rather slow day here on Gensokyo Island. I mean, Armin Arlert ate a S'more, people were throwing fried beans at Suika Ibuki and kicking her out of Mii Apartments, the sort of usual antics the underemployed residents get up to everyday.

We had been scheduled to hold an interview with a certain someone with very rather unusual persuasions next, but our boss Aya Shameimaru told us to hold off until this baby bonanza passes its peak tomorrow. Instead, we were assigned to update the archives with all the records from our latest interviews, so the Miis and QR codes listing should be updated to the present day.

I guess that means it won't be me doing the interview work, then, certainly a cause for celebration. I might not be a pleasant person, but that doesn't mean I'm mad enough to get all cosy with a doll maniac. So, for today's rather pathetically short update, this is Yuzu signing off. Heh, I'm not bitter at all, really. That means less work for me for the same pay. Or is it just that Aya wants to squeeze me out of airing more of Gensokyo Island's dirty linen? Either way, as long as I get fed... although I'm starting to dread those Toramaru brand Hot Dogs...

Those rare moments when a normally glum person goes totally batty with happiness... are more frightening still.

 BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 3rd February 2015

Children

Minosuke was born to Utsuho Reiuji and Rinnosuke Morichika. It's their fifth child! He is an Independent Artist.

Mushihiko was born to Kyouko Kasodani and Wriggle Nightbug. It's their fifth child! He is a Confident Adventurer.

Gensokyo Gourmands

Armin Arlert tried a S'more today. It's his Favourite food! 

Growing Pains

Um... hello. It's Yuzu once again. My boss, Aya Shameimaru, gave me a thorough yelling at over my last two reports. "Why can't you do a good job of it? At least your other two friends are so woefully inept and caught up in their own psychological issues they're inherently entertaining regardless of what they write, but you just have to turn everything into a miserable situation."

So she told me to write something serious for once. Trying not to provoke my, ahem, unusual sense of humour is probably a good idea, yes... Especially considering that she'll have to deal with me for longer than my two compatriots ahead of me.

Today's theme is, interestingly enough, 'Growth'. Don't worry, I won't be writing an economics thesis on this. No doubt Aya must have considered this observing her son Hoshi aging from a bawling ball of flesh into a socially-inept but nevertheless happy-go-lucky misfit. It's an appropriate one, too, as today Gensokyo Island's residents celebrated the birthday of another ne'er-do-well whose ego towers over his otherwise miniature stature. That person is Overlord Laharl.

Funny, I think I got Laharl's birthday wrong. It's 12 years since Disgaea was released ... I've gotta check his data. By the way I didn't like Disgaea D2.

Surrounded by his significant other, best friend, and fellow hellspawn, Laharl celebrated the successful passage of another year full of evil deeds, misdemeanours, and fervent denials of the presence of even a single shred of goodness in his heart. 

It's gonna be harder for him to deny the existence of love, though, consider that it was he who confessed to Shinmyoumaru Sukuna, that they're now married and have two kids between them, and that they live under a thumb of a tyrannical overlord who won't allow married couples to exist in a state of anything other than "love" between them. Like a square watermelon, we've no choice but to grow to fit the box we're given.

Speaking of really-thousand-year-old beings with hair antennae, today Miko Toyosatomimi grew tired of her dyed hair and asked Okuu's Look-alike to treat her to a bathhouse, to which she readily complied. Oddly enough, several hours later Miko asked for yet another bath despite the dye having already washed out, and Okuu's Look-alike agreed again without complaint. Perhaps the unusually quick agreement to these requests may be due to the possibility that Okuu's Look-alike has a fetish for staring at Vocaloids who may actually be ancient Japanese princes naked and up to their neck in steaming bath water. Who sing pop songs. Both times.

Eew, look at that dandruff spilling from her hair.

I hear that regularly soaking in hot springs helps make one's libido grow as well. Perhaps Miko Toyosatomimi's experiences might be able to prove that, for shortly after her baths she asked Okuu's Look-alike for a very ... um, personal request. By which I mean procreating with Marisa Kirisame, of course, Okuu's Look-alike being a eugenicist enforcing a permission-based birth control policy on Gensokyo Island and most certainly not someone anyone, anyone in sound mind or with any interest in the continued existence of the world would want to procreate with. Permission to procreate was, as expected, granted.

It wasn't long after that Okuu's Look-alike received a similar quests from another islander, this time one who's already been known to be fond of introducing new Touhou characters to this world. That person being Junya Ohta, naturally, who was hoping to work together with Reimu Hakurei to add a Stage 5 boss to his latest game. This most recent declaration means that the pairing of ZUN and Reimu are now the sole holders of the couple with the most children, bringing Gensokyo Island to the illustrious new height of five children per family. I wonder what Chairman Mao would have to say about that one...?

 Two dads ponder doing the naughty once again. Can you guess who the second character is from the quote alone?

All children (excepting Okuu's Look-alike, of course) have to grow up someday, and judging by the trend of things on Gensokyo Island recently Miko and ZUN and their respective spouses have a good chance of finally getting one of the children placed as a permanent resident - if it has the right combination of features and personality. Indeed, ZUN and Reimu's fourth child Junzo is here waiting with us at the docks, and he'd be pretty miffed if he had to look after a younger sibling her along with waiting for a ship. Wait ... but he'd probably be more upset and jealous if a younger sibling did receive an apartment ... so it's lose-lose. Such is the way of things among travellers at the port.

Today, we were also joined by Chiyo Mihama and Shikieiki Yamaxanadu's fourth child, the very imaginatively named Chiyoko (it's a real name, look it up), who was quite happily evicted from her parents' home and sent out into the cruel, cruel ... port, now the most junior of the 13 of us. Happily, I'd say, because her parents were pretty sure she'd be sent off as a traveller from the moment she was even conceived, though in the case of Chiyoko happiness was probably not a consideration. Welcome, Chiyoko, and I hope you like Umi's singing because you're gonna have to get used to it.

Lastly, here on Gensokyo Island we today witnessed a very unusual spectacle which, I daresay, has not happened on many other islands on this world. It was today that Konata Izumi proposed to her boyfriend, Ramza Beoulve, at the train station. That's not very rare in itself. However, what was especially uncommon about the pairing of Konata and Ramza was that Ramza just celebrated his 18th birthday earlier this month, and being 18 years old makes him technically an adult ... who's in love with Konata who's technically a child.

Hey, Shou, do you know what humans make from a tiger's ... Hot Dog? Now you do!

 No, Shou, it isn't an improper relationship at all. It's perfectly legal since Konata and Ramza became sweethearts while both were still (technically) children, and Ramza just happened to be right on the cusp of being officially an adult. However, this created a rather odd situation where Ramza's acceptance of the proposal set the two on the path to marriage ... except that Konata wasn't of the legal age for marriage. So ... this happened.

 A subtle change in the Age-o-matic text ... but it's only visible if you somehow get a adult and a child to be sweethearts.

Ramza's reaction to Konata's request for Okuu's Look-alike to use an Age-o-matic on her was... unusual, to say the least. He seemed perfectly happy, taking a seat at the corner of the room to watch what was a typical procedure for children desiring to get married, except in this case it was for only one member of the prospective couple. And that was what made all the difference...

 Notice Ramza and Konata's heights. What do you mean Konata's taller than me now? If only I hadn't grown older I could have been taller, too!

Ramza's jaw dropped as the Age-o-matic worked its wonders, and granted Konata a totally awesome pair of high-heeled shoes out of nowhere that allowed her to stand several inches over Ramza now. Gosh, whoda thunkit. And, moral of the story, this is why people who are techniaclly adults really, really shouldn't be making out with people who are technically children. But Okuu's Look-alike didn't really care and was, indeed, laughing all the way to Konata and Ramza's wedding. Congratulations to the happy couple - just don't get height envy, little boy! 

With Konata and Ramza's wedding, that brings the total number of wedded couples on Gensokyo Island to twenty in total, that's forty out of fifty-three islanders married! Wow, I'd hate to be one of the last thirteen unmarried singles - you'd have pretty much everyone around you and even the freaking security cameras asking 'Hey, so when are you popping the question?' pretty much every day. And mothers and mothers-in-law bothering you with cries of "Hey, I want grandkids!". Ugh. I'm so glad all I need to do is sail from island to island, see the world, and just stay alive.

Do you have this many married couples on your island? The drain on travel tickets is hellish!

On that note, of the thirteen remaining unmarried islanders, six are in a relationship, while the remaining seven are truly singletons. Of particular note is the fact that only two unattached adults remain - Suwako Moriya and Mister Kimura, meaning that if married and attached characters' relations stayed as they are these two would have no one to fall for but each other. And frankly, that's a match made in hell (or heaven, for a creepy lolicon like Mister Kimura). 

Okuu's Look-alike, if you have any decency in you, you'd add some new islanders to give them an alternative match right now! She told me that she's been trying, but there were complications such as "not finding an actor that looks similar enough to the actual character", "looking for voice actors so they don't sound exactly the same as other islanders", and the usual crap like "I have no ideas and no time to think of new ideas". What a disaster.

In fact, as things stand, due to the lack of new adult islanders Gensokyo Island has grown to the point of what one might call a 'mature' island, where relationships are mostly fixed unless the island's dictator makes it a point to mess things up by deliberately being mean to them. And I have to say that though Okuu's Look-alike is in fact a pretty bad person, but I have yet to see signs of such behaviour. 

But if we don't see some new residents invited to mix things up over the next few days, things might get just as monotonous in Mii Apartments as it is down here at the docks. Those are the growing pains of every island, and that's why any of us even need those otherwise utterly abhorrent dictators, anyway. Now get to it!

BUNBUNMARU NEWS, 30th January 2015

Happy 11th Birthday, Overlord Laharl?

Relationships and Marriage

Konata Izumi proposed to Ramza Beoulve today. He accepted! Congratulations to the newly married couple!

Children

Chiyoko, daughter of Chiyo Mihama and Shikieiki Yamaxanadu, grew up. She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!

Miko Toyosatomimi announced that her wife Marisa Kirisame was pregnant with their third child!

Junya Ohta announced that his wife Reimu Hakurei was pregnant with their fifth child!

Gensokyo Gourmands

Shou Toramaru tried some Tap Water today. He thought it was the Worst! 

Wings of Flibbertigibbet

No, as far as I can tell there aren't any Starcraft characters on this island yet.

... ahem ... yes. Um, it's me, Yuzu.

So, ah, after some gentle persuasion by my boss, Aya Shameimaru, I wish to announce an amendment to my previous statement. Hoshi, the third child and second son of Aya and her husband Shou Toramaru, is most definitely not a hellspawned demon-possessed anti-messiah. Most definitely not, as Aya, Shou, and the young Hoshi himself have personally assured me, with most sincere and earnest threats of violence unto my well-being. 

See, look at the photographs here. Hoshi is certainly a perfectly normal and well-adjusted child, isn't he? We're all so glad that Okuu's Look-alike performed that ritual to transfer any evil within the child unto Sanae Kochiya and Baldren Gassenarl's third child and second daughter, Kyrie, who was going to be sent off as a traveller anyway. 

Look at the pure evil radiating from Kyrie's eyes! That evilness transference ritual must have worked perfectly! Aya and Baldren must both be so proud. And hooray, yet another crazed maniac with a superiority complex lined up along the docks and reducing the share of food for the rest of us

Hoshi, totally normal and not psycho at all, even when using a knife! Kyrie, evil berserker death glare. It's the evidence, folks!

It seems, however, that expunging the evil from Hoshi has left his mind permanently altered, though. Instead of being the calculating, insidious Independent Artist he once was, he has now become a carefree, happy-go-lucky Easygoing Optimist. This is actually the first case of Okuu's Look-alike has actually tried to meddle with a child's personality, even when their personality didn't exactly match the character she was thinking of at the time. Truly, how groundbreaking, his parents must be so proud.

Indeed, Aya and Shou were so overjoyed and grateful that they banded together with some other islanders and threw a party for Okuu's Look-alike to thank her for her help in solving problems on Gensokyo Island. Especially the problem of a potential demonic possession (completely unrelated to the fact that actual demons do live on the island). In fact, that was four thousand problems solved, and counting. 

Congratulations, Okuu's Look-alike, for bending to your islanders every whim and pampering them to their heart's fancy even as you oppress and mistreat them for your own sick twisted pleasure. It's a fair deal, after all! In fact, Yuuka Kazami, infamous sadist, was so proud of such an arrangement that she offered to present the award to Okuu's Look-alike personally.

It's been 3,000 ... I mean 4,000 problems. I'm so proud *sniffle*

Lastly, a letter from Gensokyo Island's most travelled son, Sukuna Shinmyoumaru and Overlord Laharl's child Vytautas arrived today, although he hadn't actually visited a new island. Rather, it was from Streetpass Relay Point Island, which as all of us travellers know isn't really an island, rather it's just a nickname for "Lost in the middle of freaking nowhere". 

Still I'm sure his parents were glad to hear he was still alive. I'm worried, though. He's almost getting as experienced as me. That's just dreadful. No, I'm not jealous, it's simply because anyone just as experienced as me tends to lose everything good about them and become a horrible, cynical, snide, insufferable, and utterly pessimistic sort of person. Or you end up snapping from the stress and turning into a self-deluded egomaniac like Umi-senpai, which is arguably worse. Such is the inevitable fate of travellers that survive their first steps into this miserable place we call home.

Everywhere in the world looks like Streetpass Relay Point Island, deserted except for a crab. Where'd he get the drink?

Ah, it's a beautiful, cruel world, isn't it? To be honest, I'd rather hide behind a wall and live blissfully unaware of everything else, than have to know that we live forever cowering in fear from these wicked beings we call tyrants and dictators of islands. Ironic, no? How people like us travellers are paralysed not by a narrowness of the mind, but by the knowledge of just how vast the world truly is.

Speaking of which, today we have an interview with an expert on the subject of the world out there, a professional free spirit if you will. He's a person who will let his mind speak when his physical strength cannot, most certainly a deviation from the usual trend of the assorted people of mass destruction on this island. I'm quite fond of him, really, and it's not just because we have the same hair colour. So, please meet Armin Arlert.

Armin Arlert

All information correct as of 28 January 2015

 On that day, the Touhous received a grim reminder...

Name: Armin Arlert

Nickname: Armin

Date of Birth: 3rd November 2009

Personality: Independent Free Spirit

Favourite Colour: Brown

Quotation: "Wie sin de Jäger"

Armin Arlert is a supporting main character from the manga and later hit anime series Attack on Titan by Hajime Isayama. He is the best friend of main character Eren Jaeger, and while fighting isn't his strong point his greatest strengths are his intelligence, quick mind, and a willingness to speak out to protect his friends. He is also my favourite character from the series, and the first non-Touhou character to be introduced. Hooray!

I already knew from the beginning, when starting off Gensokyo Island, that it wouldn't be populated entirely by Touhou Project characters. No doubt the gender issue was a problem (let's not get into that argument here) but I also wanted to include other characters I liked to see how they would get along with Touhou characters. While Armin was not the first non-Touhou character I made in Mii Maker, he was the first to be added to the island, and thus a trend was broken.

In the case of Armin specifically, I wanted a character from Attack on Titan, but not one that was so popular that everyone else would have them on their islands (Mikasa... *cough cough*). It's strange that while pretty much every Attack on Titan fan agrees that Armin is a great character and that he's also one of the cutest/smartest, few of them would declare outright that he's their favourite character from the series. Well, here on Gensokyo Island, Armin can finally take on a life of his own, in a world where wits actually count just as much as muscle. But how successful has he been? Let's see!

Armin and Recette, a happily wedded couple. Well, both are calculating and have others do the hard work for them, so it fits!

Wife: Recette Lemongrass

Best Friend: Miko Toyosatomimi

Children: Juan, Tia Arlert

Ex-Sweethearts: Shinmyoumaru Sukuna

As already discussed, Armin was formerly dating Shinmyoumaru Sukuna, but unfortunately Overlord Laharl's charms put an end to that relationship (and my hopes of a titan-slaying OTP). However, Armin hooked up with Recette Lemongrass instead, in a sort of pair-the-spares moment as they were the last of the second batch of islanders without a partner. As dismissive as that may seem, they've actually been a lovely couple so far that, while not especially inclined towards procreation, have yet to give me any real trouble. It's also worth noting that Armin and Recette's marriage was the first marriage on Gensokyo Island which did not involve a single Touhou Project character, and until now there is only one other such pairing.

Armin and Recette have had two lovely children so far, Juan and Tia. Juan bears the distinction of being the only child to be born for whom I accepted his default name - I wanted something a little exotic-sounding, and I thought the idea of naming your first kid Juan was kinda funny. Geddit? But anyway, he has gone on to become one of Gensokyo Island's more successful travellers. Tia, whom as you know only grew up recently, has yet to make progress in Gensokyo Island's hierarchy, but she already has a sweetheart in the form of Tadakichi Mihama. That's some cute puppy love right there. Geddit? Oh, puns.

As for best friends, Armin is actually Miko Toyosatomimi's third best friend, after Marisa Kirisame and Yuuka Kazami. Maybe Miko thinks Armin is a person with honourable desires, while Armin appreciates Miko as a genuinely respectable (albeit ruthless) authority figure, a rarity in the Attack on Titan world.

A small family, but one which has achieved many things and worth being proud of. Also, their normalness is almost abnormal in itself.

Food Preferences:

Worst: Salami

Worst Ever: Split-pea Soup

Okuu's Look-alike Rating - Split-pea Soup: Dislike. I don't recall ever tasting split-pea soup but I'd imagine it's a lot like lentil soup, which is basically the real-life version of something that fills you up and gives you a little energy, but generally tastes as bland as wet paper. I guess if I was really hungry I'd eat it, but I wouldn't go out of my way to find it, let alone pay for it.

Song Participation:

Gotta Slay 'em All, Rap, joint-lead singer for The Recon Corps

Living Next Door to Alice, Musical, backup singer for Three Dolls Down

Of course Armin would have to sing a song, or more specifically do a rap about killing titans. But why oh why couldn't the original pairing of Armin and Sukuna have stayed firm? It would have been really awesome to have a titan-slaying married couple that also raps about it... except Armin really isn't all that good at killing titans. And pretty much every single person on earth is a titan for Sukuna, including Armin himself. 

 Yup, Armin Arlert and Kyubey Incubator. That describes the two of them in a nutshell.

Apartment: Apt. 203

Islander Rating: Average Tier

It's strange that Armin, a member of the second batch of Gensokyo Island residents, has an islander level low enough to be equal to or even exceeded by members of the fourth batch. It's true that Armin has hardly had a charmed life, being the first islander to be dumped, as well as having both his disliked foods but none of his likes discovered. Armin, being a free spirit, also tends to act more self-reliant, wanting to do things for himself rather than bother that horrible dictator Okuu's Look-alike for help.

However, the lack of children in his and Recette's marriage could also play a part, since children provide a major boost to at least one of the couple's happiness levels, and children keep their parents awake later at night too! Armin is also quite individualistic, perhaps due to the way he thinks, and thus frequently gets into many arguments while not making many new friends himself. Overall, it's really hard to explain, but in a cast of freaks and weirdos all clamouring for attention, a loner, thinker archetype who hates to be thrust into the centre of things is going to have difficulty standing out. It's a shame that Armin even blames himself (in his quotes) for being too weak to catch up to everyone else.

Nevertheless, Armin is certainly determined to improve himself and not be a burden on everyone. To aid him in that task I've given him a Training interior so he can get fitter and keep up with the rest of them. But I gues what Armin needs most of all is someone who can appreciate him for what he really is - someone who likes to think and dream and wants to be free of these walls we call apartment buildings. And who really really hates titans. Are you that person?

You'll notice that's actually a girl's dress he's wearing. But it looks like the closest thing to a militia outfit! Don't worry, he's a boy!

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 28th January 2015

Island Updates (Population 53)

Please welcome Hoshi Toramaru, the newest resident of Gensokyo Island! He is an Easygoing Optimist.

Traveller Updates

Vytautas, son of Shinmyoumaru Sukuna and Overlord Laharl, wrote back from Streetpass Relay Point Island! He has visited 4 islands so far.

Relationships and Marriage

Hinoko Gassenarl and Tia Arlert became best friends!

Children

Kyrie, daughter of Sanae Kochiya and Baldren Gassenarl, grew up. She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!

Hoshi, son of Aya Shameimaru and Shou Toramaru, grew up. He was invited to live on Gensokyo Island!