30 April 2015

Love's Labour's Lost

Ehehe... being an in-ves-ti-gative jour-na-list, no being a bloody nosey reporter can be totally wizard at times. Popping out from who knows where, outta somebody's closet, just to get that perfect scoop, it gets my blood pumping it does!

Oh, isn't that... salutations, Rebecca. Would you happen to be...

Heyo, Eugene, how's it goin'? I've just got these lovely snaps of...

It's Yugen. Really, I don't wish to repeat myself. And if it's today that you'll be writing your first report, you'll be needing this. A transcript of a correspondence that has mysteriously found its way to Gensokyo Island's shores in a suspiciously short period of time.

Ooh, a letter? Give it here! Let's 'ave a quick look-see...

 Small in the grand scheme of things? Isn't that just because you're far away from the camera? Physics, m'dear girl.

Yuuko is the second daughter of Yuyuko Saigyouji and Maximiliian Magma. She's written back from a place called Icecream Island to describe her experiences in the mysterious land on the opposite side of the space-time portal, but how exactly did she manage to have this letter delivered...

And how exactly did that selfish arse of an island's owner not let her snap a selfie with one of the residents? That's, like, so not on. I mean, I got to pose with that hacker-ray girl and all, it was the tops!

Um, well, I suppose it would be unreasonable to attempt to divine each island's owner's intentions. Okuu's Look-alike seems really liberal and permissive with what the islanders and us travellers are allowed to do, but I fear that all of this is just playing into some secret agenda of hers...
Talking about getting around, hey hey, you'll never guess just who I spotted creeping around in the dark just earlier, down by that old dinged-up concert hall...

Creeping around? Was it they who were creeping around, or was it you... oh whatever, just tell me.
 
Sometimes the silence alone explains everything. As well as the fact that you're both alone inside a big empty and dark building.

If I've got those names right, that's Shinichi Yasaka and Toyohime Kirisame, both second-generation islanders... no, Shinichi is the only third-generation islander and the very first one at that. And yet, from what I've observed of him, he has a rather old-fashioned air about him, probably due to his parents. He's turned out to be a rather respectable chap, if I may say so...

... and he was like, just, 'Will you date me?' and she was like 'Sure!'. It was the most boring and straightforward confession I've ever heard, but I'll be darned if that's what made it one of the most interesting things I've heard!

Oh, that sounds... rather dull, truly. If that's really all he had to say I'm not surprised that he took this long to finally woo a lady.

Yep. He must've thought that, like some bone idol in a temple, he could just loaf about and wait for a virgin sacrifice. Making the first move was harder than he ever thought.

Ah, how unfortuante... for a moment I believed he was the sort of person I'd like to get along with. That's not true, sadly.

Hey, don't be so glum! Today's a smashing day! I've spotted even the saddest man on Gensokyo Island had some real cheer today, so chin up, mate!

I... I didn't mean being sad in a literal sense, it's just a figure of speech... but "saddest man in Gensokyo Island"? Who could that be? And what could have happened to make him happy?

To answer that, take a look at these brilliant snaps!

 Where is this place, anyway? And where the heck did a city in the background come from? Must be the Lunatic Red Eyes at work.

Saddest man... I see, it's Mr. Despair himself, Nozomu Itoshiki. I've seen him hanging around with that girl with the removable rabbit ears, Reisen Udongein Inaba... so he worked up the courage to propose? The man deserves some respect.

Aw, not really. He was more, like, "I'm in despair! Our relationship has left me in despair! That we haven't got married after waiting for so long has left me in despair!" and she was probably thinking something like "you wot mate" but finally came around to his idea. Anyone would be thick to not take the hint with four other lovey-dovey couples sitting around 'em at that point.

Which reminds me that I should figure out where this restaurant is. I'm plain starved for a decent meal and I'd really like to make a reservation.

Well, it's more like a movie set, really. It's a painting they've got put up in the back there, and, ah, I don't even think that's food they're eating. More like paper or wooden copy. That's why no one ever gets full, y'see?

Really! I... I don't know what to think about that. 

Oh, it's okay! Some folks on this island are already used to eating imitation food, anyway. But others just hate it.

I know even less of what to think about that.

 Huzzah! Utonium celebrates the discovery of a new secret formula guaranteed to liquefy aliens and anti-messiahs. Like Hoshi.

Well, it's seems that you're rather a natural with this candid photography charade, Rebecca, you could probably become a full-fledged member of the junior reporter team with ease. As for me, I'm still learning the ropes.

Nah, just picking up a couple of tips 'n tricks around here. Y'know that other girl, the one that was here before us and who's just about to leave? She taught me quite some bit too.

Indeed, that explains so much. Now if only someone could teach you how to transform your speech patterns into something a little more easily understood.
What you say?


BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 28th April 2015

Traveller Updates
Yuuko, daughter of Yuyuko Saigyouji and Maximillian Magma, wrote back from Icecream Island! She has visited 1 island so far.

Relationships and Marriage
Shinichi Yasaka and Toyohime Kirisame became Sweethearts! It was Shinichi who confessed his love.
Utsuho Reiuji and Nozomu Itoshiki became Best Friends!
Drake Kitazawa and Shinichi Yasaka became Best Friends!

Gensokyo Gourmands
Drake Kitazawa tried some Cherries today. It's his Favourite food!

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 29th April 2015

Relationships and Marriage
Nozomu Itoshiki proposed to Reisen Udongein Inaba today. She accepted! Congratulations to the newly married couple!

Gensokyo Gourmands
Hoshi Toramaru tried a Gyro today. He thought it was the Worst Ever!     

28 April 2015

A Foot in the Door

Trembling slightly, I led Rebecca to the top of the cliff face overlooking the port. While she didn't have any problems catching up, she was rather skittish, flitting between the shrubs and trees that we passed like a butterfly, closely observing each one as if searching for some difference or distinctive feature.

So, Eugene, d'ye know how exactly this time-space... what's his face thingy actually comes about?

I dunno. Something science-y, I suppose? I'm no expert in the matter. And the name's Yugen.

Yugen.... ohhh. Sorry 'bout that.

Reaching the end of the grassy ledge, which terminated in a steep drop into sharp rocks lashed by roiling waves, I crouched down and trained that camera that I'd been given on the travellers waiting at the port. Of all of them, the only one whom I could see was standing was Toritori, second in line and stiffly staring straight ahead toward the end of the jetty, every muscle tensed in expectation of making that valiant leap into the unknown. But we all knew that this was one journey on which she had no desire of embarking.

As if on cue, the sky flashed with the brightness of distant lightning, and a peal of thunder sounded. And slowly, that sickening miasma, seemed to thicken into a fog around the port area. The artificially-induced anomaly would claim its next victims, including a person we had only recently met, and our instructions were to observe it.

Slowly, surely, the silhouette of a small boat became visible in the fog, and it coursed forward to pull up alongside the port. The first traveller in front of Toritori, heedless of her fate, helplessly flung herself onto its deck, and it pulled away to vanish into the mist. And then...

And then, like the lifting of a curtain, the fog mysteriously vanished once again and the port was bathed in sunlight, revealing Toritori, fallen to her knees, as the first traveller in line to depart at the port.

Welcome to Gensokyo Island. Our exports are biological weapons and violent extremists.

Returning to the Bunbunmaru News office, I noticed Kiba, with his back turned to us, staring at some pictures on his laptop. Doing some research? Or were those... cartoons? Before I could get a closer look, he slammed the cover of the laptop down with surprising force and whirled around to face us.

The girl, I mean, Toritori's still there. But she's first in line now!

Rebecca provided the status update as I handed over the camera. The information we gathered wasn't especially invaluable, but Kiba's tense expression seemed to soften anyway. Turning back to the desk for a moment, he retrieved a folder and handed it to us. It was labelled "Daily Updates" and signed off by our temporary boss Aya Shameimaru

What? Let you be? Well, alrighty then. Let's get going, Eugene!

It's Yugen, I corrected, but I don't think Rebecca skipping ahead of me heard anything. Opening the folder and flipping through the reports and photographs within, I pondered Kiba and Toritori's words from a couple of days ago, and the papers seemed to grow heavy. It was then that I understood, to the ruler of this Gensokyo Island, all these reports which had been attained were worth as much as the life of that one traveller who had been sent off into the unknown.

It was then too that I noticed the reason for the mysterious lack of any other witnesses to the reactivation of the time anomaly, as well as the continued absence of Okuu's Look-alike, Aya Shameimaru, or indeed any other islander of significance.

Welcome to Gensokyo Island, we solve your problems and take your cash. Except sometimes we don't because we like watching you suffer.

They were at a party. A party celebrating the solving of "problems" on Gensokyo Island, no less. And most certainly the overpopulation of young travellers like ourselves on the island was one such problem.

At that moment, I felt very small, so completely insignificant in the grand scheme of things. I've always thought of myself as decently worthy of respect, that those pictures of clinking glasses and feasting on delicacies were akin my birthright, my privilege. But I realised that only held true insofar that the ones in charge, nay, society itself respected that status. In a world where lives are but pawns to be used and discarded in some great game, what else do I have but the extent of my freedom, and my body and flesh?

I've always been one to ponder. But not one to taste despair Today, the first tinge of it crept across my tongue like the taste of some repugnant fruit, a fruit called despair. This pear, I tell you!

Speaking of which, that was not the only celebration the natives of Gensokyo Island were holding today.


I'm in despair! The fact that my real age isn't known and has just been callously set to 18, well, now 19, has left me in despair!

Nozomu Itoshiki, the terminally depressed schoolteacher, was reported to have been utterly in despair over becoming one year older, and thus one year closer to death. Being so depressed, and no doubt exacerbated by the tortuous existence of living on Gensokyo Island, he attempted to kill himself publicly as he was wont to do but Okuu's Look-alike reportedly put a stop to it, abhorred that it would put quite the damper on her milestone celebrations.

As such, they took him aside, gave him a meaningless song without lyrics to occupy himself, and surrounded him with a wall of flesh to prevent him from attempting to dash his brains out against the wall. According to this report, claims that he attempted to set himself on fire using the candles and thus setting off the sprinkler system have been vastly exaggerated.

And yet, it is no exaggeration to say that Nozomu's worries for the his state of life, nay, the state of all life on Gensokyo Island may be truly justified after all. Simply take into account the explosive increase in the common-born, easily noticeable within minutes of one's visit to the island, and it's immediately understandable that conditions can only grow ever more squalid not only for those who possess the status of being permanent residents, but for life on the island as a whole.

Boys on the top, Bertrand and Niitaka, girls on the bottom, Tabitha and Salvatore. That sounds wrong. Also, Bertrand is Salvatore's uncle...

It is all too easy to chide the common folk for their explosive breeding habits, completely heedless of the ability of natural resources and the environment to sustain more souls. But it is an even greater crime still, should those in power actively encourage this self-destructive behaviour. What Okuu's Look-alike be thinking, none can really say for sure, but it will be no doubt in the thoughts of any impartial, momentary observer that it must be some deed nefarious beyond contemplation by any sane mortal mind.

Yes, a terrible, monstrous deed, one which, in running its course, will claim without hesitation the lives of every single one of these hapless travellers. Including Toritori. Including ... myself.


BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 26th April 2015

Traveller Updates
A boat from Coco Island arrived. Yuuko departed.

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 27th April 2015

Happy 19th(?) Birthday, Nozomu Itoshiki!

Traveller Updates
Yuuko, daughter of Yuyuko Saigyouji and Maximillian Magma, wrote back from Streetpass Relay Point Island. She has visited 0 islands so far.

Children
Bertrand, son of Recette Lemongrass and Armin Arlert, grew up. He was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!
Niitaka, son of Aya Shameimaru and Shou Toramaru, grew up. He was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!
Tabitha, daughter of Shanghai Margatroid and Kanako Yasaka, grew up. She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!
Salvatore, daughter of Tia Arlert and Tadakichi Mihama, grew up. She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!

25 April 2015

A Wormhole in Time

Ugh, this place is absolutely ghastly. I'm all grubby from not having taken a proper bath since that incident and the niff about me could stun a horse. It's as if whatever semblance of decency and individuality about me has melted into the pervasive miasma that I've realised far too late dominates this place. And yet, as a true gentleman, I must mask my displeasure and soldier on.

Today's assignment called me to a special meeting of "young journalists" at the Bunbunmaru News editors' office. It's rather outrageous how those scabby commoners going by the names of Toritori and Kiba consider me among their ilk, but I must swallow my pride and accept their insults. I yet saw no sign of the ringleader and my temporary employer, Aya Shameimaru, and I waited patiently at a bench in the ramshackle office as they gathered materials and pored over the day's updates.

Isn't it ironic how a worthless Copper Coin and Packet of Tissues are among the most hard-to-acquire items in the game? Luckily I've already got them.

"Oh, she did put a few good words up about Gensokyo Island. Just like she said she would."

"She? You mean Rebecca?" Toritori paused for a moment as she considered both her words and the document in her hand, "Was it something like 'they didn't kill me and sacrifice me to some dark god on first sight, so it's a good place' or so?"
 
"Sort of, haha... but it's something positive nonetheless. Not to mention that card Layla left despite having dragged her across the time-space continuum and left her with the haggardness of an old grandma. She's still got manners, that one."

"Indeed, Kiba. Much unlike a certain pretty-faced rich boy over there. Too rich even to say thanks."
I gulped nervously. Based on what I'd heard from the other islanders so far, this island's dictator Okuu's Look-alike was known to be a rather vengeful person... but I didn't know that when I first arrived! I tried to deflect their accusatory stares by asking as to the purpose of today's briefing. Even so, the girl, Toritori, seemed to be unusually tetchy, more so than when I saw her last.

"Well, Eugene, the first thing to...

It's Yugen, I politely corrected.
 
"Eugene sounds like it fits better. I bet your parents were so rich they had you genetically modified to be the perfect child." Well, excuse me!

"Whatever. Yugen. The first thing to do is wait for your new colleague to show up, when she does show up. She's a bit... relaxed, as far as we've seen,"

"It must be that foreign upbringing. They bring up kids differently in those parts, but at least it's due to culture. Not to a surfeit of money."

New colleague? Surely, they could only mean...

We have an investigative reporter in the making, folks!

'eyo. Ah... you're like that weirdo who was peeping in on me the other day, huh? Gave you a good wallop, I did. Didya get yer nose fixed... ah, lucky for you it healed just in the right place.

Oh, that girl. The one from the strange foreign part of the world. Her accent was just so obtuse it was impossible to remember it from one day to another, especially since I recall having been knocked out cold for ten minutes or so, then having to search for my wallet in the dark after that.

Rebecca here. Or Becky. Whatever. And you're the perverted rich man's son Eugene, aren't you? Nice to meet'cha!

I'm gaining a wholly unjustified reputation around here, and it's all thanks to those two plebs...
 
"So, is that all? You didn't invite Layla along as well, did you?"

"Nah, she's a grey shirt, didn't you see? I don't know if it was from the effects of the time travel or whatever, but Aya said getting a grey shirt involved could lead to trouble. They have connections, you see, so it's best not to 'ask' them to do us 'favours'."
 
"Not just rich parents, but connections... I see, I'll take a note of it."

So why did you call us here today, I interrupted, trying to change the subject. Taking random snipes at someone simply because they were brought up in a much better household was simply underhanded, although not completely unexpected from these common peasant folk.

"Ah yes, continuing with that," Toritori gathered her notes and turned to address Rebecca and I, "Apart from introducing the two of you to each other, we also have an official word from Okuu's Look-alike regarding the time-space distortion and the impact it's had on the community here at Gensokyo Island. And the immediate future plans to deal with the situation."

I didn't really get all of it, but I nodded in an attempt to demonstrate understanding. Surprisingly, Rebecca sitting next to me whipped out a small notebook and began scribbling away in some arcane, indecipherable scrawl. She might be a natural at this note-taking, but her penmanship could certainly use some work.

:"Now look here," said Kiba, whirling his laptop about, displaying a line graph that showed a distinct negative trend, "This is the data I got from Okuu's Look-alike's office, demonstrating that activity on this island has significantly decreased over the past week. Its cause..."

The, um, time-space distortion? I tried to make an educated guess.
 
"In fact, no! It's because of babies!"

Babies?! The barely-disguised venom with which he said that word made me think he was only jesting, but seeing Toritori's unmoving expression I accepted that it was the true explanation.
 
It's the circle of life! it's the wheel of f... aw damn it! Bankrupt again!

"It is the nearly inevitable fate of all children born to Gensokyo Island's residents to be sent off to become travellers. And, thanks to Okuu's Look-alike's policy of encouraging rampant procreation, there have been many such children. Far too many. I'm sure both of you newfaces have seen how the port was full to bursting with these misshapen, grubby-faced kids."
 
I glanced at Rebecca and she returned a nod of acknowledgement. I suppose there were some symbols that could still be easily understood despite the barrier of her bizarre accent.
 
"The thing is, these records have demonstrated beyond any reasonable doubt that the excessive numbers of children on this island are draining the life from Gensokyo Island's residents. As a result of there being so many travellers waiting to leave, nearly all activity on Gensokyo Island has ceased. The only activity which takes place are fights between islanders, and mostly futile attempts by islanders to get Okuu's Look-alike to play a silly game with them."
 
"This has been confirmed with reports from other owners of islands," added Toritori gravely, "It's an established fact that too many travellers cause activity on the island to cease, and Okuu's Look-alike only experienced this first-hand within the past two weeks, just before you two arrived."
 
So, why not just implement some sort of contraception or sterilisation programme, I asked, trying to sound aware of the situation. Beside me, Rebecca giggled immaturely at the very idea.
 
"Ah, that's the problem," explained Kiba, "Okuu's Look-alike wants more children to be born., even though she hates babies almost as much as I do Whether this is for her own twisted entertainment or for some vile plot for the rest of the world, who knows. She's crazy like that."

So the only way would be to remove travellers somehow? By killing them?
 
"It doesn't have to be that extreme. Unless you want a bullet to your head, in which case I'm sure they'll oblige."
 
"Okuu's Look-alike and the other mad scientist residents have determined that the anomaly in the space-time continuum is capable of facilitating communication with other islands, places too distant to be reached in a reasonable timeframe., making them accessible by transversing time itself. A wormhole in time, if you will. That's how people like Layla and Rebecca came to this island."
 
As Rebecca made a silly pose at the mention of her name, I was slowly beginning to understand the situation for real  This island's administrators would somehow deliberately harness the power of this... time-space anomaly to solicit arriving boats from across time itself, to carry travellers from this island. But would they even reach their destination safely or even alive? What about what happened to Layla?
 
"If these letters are anything to go by, it is possible to pass through the time warp unscathed, but chances of success are low, and it's a risk..."
 
I noticed Toritori's expression reddening, her shoulders trembling, even as Kiba explained the situation.
 
"It's a risk that Okuu's Look-alike is going to take, whatever happens to those travellers. Whatever happens to... to us. And, should they be able to reactivate the timewarp soon. as she hopes, Toritori will be the second in line..." 
 
 From left to right, Yuuko, Toritori, Yves, Chitose, Abigail, Lewis, Chiyoko, Junpachi, Yuriko, Bruce... hmm, the order's strange...
 
We stared dumbly at Toritori, who was visibly shaking. Though she seemed carefree and mischievous when I first met her, she now seemed to be straddling that fine border between rage and tears.
 
"D... didn't any of you idiots apply for your exit permit at the port? Or was I the only stupid one?" 
 
Exit permit? Kiba's, Rebecca's and my eyes now turned from Toritori to glance sheepishly at each other. I don't think any of the three of us had even heard of such a thing. Perhaps that's how we permitted the children of Gensokyo Island to leap ahead of us in the queue? But, given the current situation, that may have been a blessing in disguise. Raising her arm to shield her eyes, Toritori stormed out of the office at that moment when our stares were diverted from her.
 
She's afraid of dyin', ain't she? I ain't afraid, well, I weren't. Not when I didn't know that boat would be taking me across time and space to some whacko island just like this one. But now... being afraid? Now I am.
 
Rebecca's words, and the sound of her pen clattering to the floor, sent a chilld down my spine. Now I was afraid too, yes, now I was.

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 24th April 2015
 
 
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 25th April 2015
 
Children
Kyusuke was born to Utsuho Reiuji and Rinnosuke Morichika. It's their ninth child! He is an Independent Free Spirit.
Hibachi, son of Kyouko Kasodani and Wriggle Nightbug, grew up. He was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!

23 April 2015

By George!

So, it's the two of us again, huh? Where's Yugen? Isn't he supposed to be in the studio today?

We gave him a break, remember? Since Aya Shameimaru's off on maternity leave, we put him down for an assignment with the promise of letting him cool his head after that.

Yes, that's right... you know, Toritori, I think you may be letting all that power get to your head.

What, me? Obsessed with power? No way! I'm just making the most of my remaining time on the island before I finally head back off into the wild unknown, and if it means making use of my position to fiddle around with hapless newfaces for laughs, sure I'd do it!

That's... kinda of what an abuse of power is all about, isn't it?

Believe me, Kiba, there's also a more practical reason for sending the new guy off on this mission. We've confirmed the end of the space-time anomaly with the data Okuu's Look-alike and the other mad scientists on this island have collected, but there have been some aftershocks. More specifically, there were two more ships that arrived from a distant land with very strange customs, and one of them contained an explorer...

Another traveller? So that makes five of us on this island at the moment. And did we have instructions to, um, 'get to know them'? In an intimate fashion?

It's probably best to wait for Aya to get back to make her decision on that, but that's why we sent Yugen to make the necessary preparations, just in case. Here's the dossier...


They speak English in what? Exotic Cuisine? What the... anyway have our Gensokyo Island specialty, Fish Poop!

Name... Rebecca... h, hey, is that blood on this folder?

Ah, maybe Yugen had an epic nosebleed after catching her in the bath. Or maybe she punched his lights out after she caught an amateur like him taking those snaps. She's quite a looker, don't you think so, Kiba?

Eh? No, not really. Nothing compares to 2D girls. 3D is merely a shadow of an ideal.

Ah, so that means I... that explains so much. Anyway, going back to all these snaps and the attached notes, it looks like she tried to gouge Okuu's Look-alike with the usual weird crap on a banana leaf, but for 5 Play Coins? And Okuu's Look-alike retaliated by bleaching, uh, I mean dyeing her hair blonde because goddamn blonde b@#$%&... ahem, because, blondes have more fun of course. Yes, that's right.

And it also says that she's from... United Kingdom?  Do they even grow bananas there? How do you explain that weird-ass so-called Exotic Cuisine from a dull place like that?

Well, maybe it looks the same as the Exotic Cuisine from Japan, but instead of weird little fish, rice, and vegetables, it's actually kedgeree with piccalilli, toad in the hole, a dollop of haggis neeps and tatties, with Welsh rarebit on the side. On a banana leaf.

Somehow the bananas are the least exotic thing in that list. And I suppose she speaks in a funny British accent, too?

There's no way of knowing since there aren't any voice records included in here. But in any case, it would be hard to tell, considering that both of us speak in a funny British accent as well... Yes, that's right, we're actually Japanese people who live in America who speak with British accents. Somehow I just can't wrap my head around it...

Toritori, what did Okuu's Look-alike tell you about ramming your face in the fourth wall? It tends to hurt after a while.

Ack, that's absolutely right.

A snap with the star of Gensokyo Island. That's right, a Japanese Viking... who lives in America and speaks with a British accent.

So, we've got the inside scoop, suitably compromising photographs, and a DNA sample. But we're not actually going to rope this girl in unless Aya tells us to do so?

That's right. Gotta have a superior to blame during the war crimes tribunal, y'know.

I wonder how she's doing, off on maternity leave. It's her sixth kid, isn't it?

That's right. Funnily enough, as an expert photographer and investigative journalist herself she thought of us earlier and sent us a photograph of her new bundle of tigerflesh, along with some other newsworthy pics she managed to get while at it.

 The floodgates are open once again. Can nothing stem the advancing tide of baby flesh?

Niitaka, huh? What an unusual name that doesn't really fit the typical name scheme. It sounds like another of those weird samurai names, but then not really, and why would Aya and her husband Shou Toramaru be naming their kids after samurai, anyway?

Beats me. Hm, it looks like there's a note written next to it... "Tiger tiger tiger".What does that even mean? Um, well... I'm sure William Blake would be proud, at least. But wait, what's this other picture attached to it? Is that Rinnosuke Morichika announcing he and Utsuho Reiuji are having their ninth child?

What? That just came out of the sky! Nine? I was wondering if it was even possible to dethrone Reimu Hakurei and Junya Ohta as the king and queen of babymaking here on Gensokyo Island but apparently it is! Now that's a surprise!

I'm certain Kourin and Okuu must be on Cloud Nine after overtaking their rivals, at least. It is rather odd that the longest-married couple here on Gensokyo Island isn't also the couple with the most children. Maybe Reimu taking time off to pose with Rebecca in that other picture is what held them back. Or has ZUN been too busy coming up with some new Touhou game of legendary proportions?

New Touhou game? Nah, there's no way that would happen, because if it really was, by George, the whole of Gensokyo Island would be turned upside down in a flash.

You never know... ugh, I felt a little heady for a bit just there. Like all the blood's suddenly rushed to my head. Maybe it's time to take a break for now.
 
The face that ZUN will see every night if he doesn't make Sanae Kochiya playable in New Touhou Game.

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 22nd April 2015

Traveller Updates
A boat from Kira Island arrived. Fumiko departed.
A boat from Buxtonia Island arrived. Rebecca of Caldy Island alighted, Frederick departed.

Children
Niitaka was born to Aya Shameimaru and Shou Toramaru. It's their sixth child! He is an Indepedent Artist.
Rinnosuke Morichika announced that his wife Utsuho Reiuji was pregnant with their ninth child!

Gensokyo Gourmands
Kanako Yasaka tried a Lollipop today. It's her All-Time Favourite food!

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 23rd April 2015

Traveller Updates
Frederick, son of Recette Lemongrass and Armin Arlert, wrote back from Streetpass Relay Point Island! He has visited 0 islands so far.
Rafa, daughter of Margit Ravelli and Archibald Aqua, wrote back from Streetpass Relay Point Island! She has visited 1 island so far.   

21 April 2015

Whacked Witch of the West

Fufu... hehehehahaha!!!

...what's so funny, Toritori? The new guy?

No, just practicing my silly laughs. Rich boy's actually done pretty well, considering his lack of experience as well as backbone. It was quite brave of him to saunter right up to the tent of that temporally-displaced arrival and take a few snaps, after all.

Is that so? Now I'm curious, let me take a look at what he brought in...

Before you do, Kiba, I want you to answer me one question. You know how way back when we first met, you used to think that I was kinda boyish, y'know, not really girly at all?

Wha... yeah, I know, but I mean, how is this even related to...

So what would you think of the beauty in these pictures here? I mean, it's impossible to deny from her appearance that she's one hundred percent feminine, after all.

I know you shouldn't judge people by their appearance, but... who the hell had a kid that looked like this? Nosferatu and Elphaba???

... kyaaaa!!! ...

I guessed as much. Typical men, always judging us by our looks.

.... b... but I mean, is that really a kid? A kid like us? Come on! She looks like the freakin' Wicked Witch of the West right there!

Yes, on that point, some of the brightest minds on Gensokyo Island have been analysing the evidence and constructing a theory as to why things ended out this way. How is it that an ordinary child seems to have aged decades, if not a whole century.

It's the temporal displacement, isn't it? I mean, it's not 4/20 any more, so it can't be due to excess drug use. Ripping a hole in the fabric of time must have done... something! Something so outrageous it defies explanation.

Yes, you've got the gist of it. It's hard to explain, but apparently the theory was floating around that the recent stasis on Gensokyo Island before last weekend was due to, uh, some sort of temporal drain on the energy levels of the residents here. Time seemed to lose its impact, while at the same time islanders' vitality, the capability for independent thought, even, seemed to be slowly sapped away. 

Some sort of temporal flux? Perhaps it's feedback from that previous incident I remember reading something about that in the old files. Apparently the results were disastrous - it led to an implied massacre of travellers, to the extent where Okuu's Look-alike was chewed out over it and publicly expressed regret at authorising such an experiment.

And yet it now seems that Okuu's Look-alike has resorted to the same desperate measures. It's almost as if we're striking back at the past, at alternate realities across different dimensions, retaliating for how they have spited Gensokyo Island for its crimes. Or perhaps it's merely the release of an intradimensional tension that has long been building.

But who should pay the price? Those poor suckers down at the docks who were shipped across time and space to ephemeral realities that have now winked out of existence. And victims like this poor... person, riven and twisted by the ravages of distorted time.

Even so, it's impossible to deny the beneficial effect on Gensokyo Island and its residents. Suddenly everyone... everything seems to have sprung to life again. The recent overdue pregnancies, thought to have terminated in miscarriage, have finally resulted in childbirth but far later than any reasonable estimate. And even our own boss Aya Shameimaru has been taken by an attack of the... Tiger brand Hot Dogs.

Yes, Tabitha and Salvatore are both girls, Bertrand's worried look betrays foreknowledge of his fate, and Aya's heart blends in with modern art.

I know I really can't stand babies, but... truth be told, I was starting to wonder why none of them showed up for almost a week. Something must have gone very wrong...

It isn't just that. Parents who had been holding out on sending their children off to be travellers were finally availed of the opportunity... perhaps aware of the horrific state of overcrowding at the port, although that has never been an obstacle previously. No doubt something else must have been driving these abrupt stops and starts in activity..
Yuriko has a haistyle just like her mom Youmu, while Bruce distinguishes himself from potential Australian and Scottish counterparts.

And all this was due to the temporal flux, draining vitality itself from Gensokyo Island's residents. And yet the two of us weren't affected?

It's hard to tell, Kiba. Chances are it's not as fatal or overwhelming as one would imagine it could be, but perhaps it has yet to run its course. The gibbering wreck that Yugen has been left as a result of his experiences on the first day on the job are a testament to it. And yet, like the experience of that new traveller Layla, it may be possible to pass directly through the temporal barrier and emerge on the other end not unscathed, but alive at least.

And what of all those guys at the port? I mean, I don't identify with them or anything, but it's just jarring to think that they might all have died...

On the contrary, we have in fact received evidence they might still be alive. These letters are proof...

  They should rename that place Schrödinger's Island, because it's impossible to say for sure whether anyone there's alive or dead.

Italy? Where's that? And if the group of them were cast across time and space, how exactly could we have received a letter from them? Unless...

Unless the temporal distortion has yet to properly conclude, and seal each respective island back in its own position in time. Which means we may have yet to experience the end of these anomalies afflicting Gensokyo Island due to this rubber band-like snap back in time.

So we should be prepared for more aftershocks to come. Ugh, rich kid isn't going to like hearing that when he finally wakes up from his concussion.

Trust me, Kiba, if we didn't knock him out beforehand he'd have already gone off the deep end by now. It's our job as junior reports, as the Scully and Mulder of Gensokyo Island to anticipate these abnormal events, experience them, neutralise their aftereffects, and repackage them into a form easily consumable by the average resident without descending into a gibbering wreck of insanity.

On that last point, Toritori... I fear we may already be too late.

 Egad! What the heck is with Mister Kimura's eyes? Kanako Yasaka awakens to the grim reality that is knowing the unknowable truth.

And just one more point, Toritori.

What is it, Kiba?

Are we going to invite that new, uh, traveller to join us at the Bunbunmaru junior reporters' bureau?

Do you really want to? If I were you I'd... leave it up to Aya Shameimaru, when she returns from her maternity leave. Because I wouldn't want to be responsible for any eldritch outcomes.

And neither do I.

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 21st April 2015 

Traveller Updates
Samael, son of Shinmyoumaru Sukuna and Overlord Laharl, wrote back from Streetpass Relay Point Island! He has visited 0 islands so far.
Rafa, daughter of Margit Ravelli and Archibald Aqua, wrote back from Streetpass Relay Point Island! She has visited 0 islands so far.

Gensokyo Gourmands
Kanako Yasaka tried an Espresso today. She thought it was the Worst!

20 April 2015

The High Life

Gensokyo Island, huh? Land of fantasy, fun, and happiness. It sounded good on paper, but actually landing here changed my point of view completely.

Just seeing the port, so ill-maintained and rickety, gave me second thoughts, and drawing closer the musty odour of human waste and rotting fish was enough to clear my nose as well as my stomach. The port itself was littered with with a motley assortment of ragamuffins in various states of malnutrition, all unkempt and maladorous. What beauty could there possibly be in a place like this? First impressions are everything, after all, and if nothing else this terrible sight was quick to sear itself across my impression of this place.

I thought to explore a bit before settling down for the night, perhaps to see if I could find some individuals of substance with whom to have a lively conversation, and it was at the tower that I first met a properly-dressed individual, nicely kitted out in the smooth and luxurious Prince Charming Outfit. I was little startled to discover that it was actually a woman, indeed, a sprightly young lady by the name of Suwako Moriya whom I had first encountered, but she seemed friendly enough in introducing me to the sights, sounds, and subtle delights of Gensokyo Island. Perhaps things mightn't be so bad after all...

Wait, are those eyes on top of her head??!!

Think of it this way... at least she's not a misanthropic psychopath.

Perhaps it was this unsettled feeling in my stomach, perhaps it was the hypnotic stare of her extra pair of eyes, perhaps it was the miasma of this place worming its way up my nose, but eventually I grew drowsier and found it meet to retire for the night. Setting up my bivouac at the camping grounds, I was soon after greeted by an ill-dressed ruffian of a lady who introduced herself as Okuu's Look-alike, the owner of this island. Judging by the reek of cheap alcohol, wet fish, and some other musty herb-like smell, I could have sworn she was just another of those hooligans wandering the place.

Actually meeting her explained everything. The smell of wet fish was exuded by the caviar she brought with her as a welcome gift, being preserved in alcohol makes it not exactly the top quality that I'd prefer but it definitely exceeded the offerings of some other islands. It's a shame that she didn't seem educated enough to understand its true value, constantly referring to it as "fish poop" or something along those lines, how rather plebeian. But she was a rather entertaining host nonetheless.

A short time after Okuu's Look-alike left. I was approached by two suspicious-looking characters in oddly-familiar garb. Their air was nothing like the dysfunctional oddball residents of this island, and while they looked like fellow travellers, their uniforms seemed to be modified somewhat, wearing dark glasses, an armband, and each carrying a folder of documents. Both men, or rather both appeared to be men, until one distinguished herself as a female by the pitch of her voice upon speaking.

"Hey, rich boy. Welcome to Gensokyo Island. You won't be leaving any time soon, so we've come from our boss with a deal for you that you'd do well not to refuse."

... rich boy? Who are these people, and what do they want? What do these peasant-folk mean by addressing me in such a condescending tone? The other, clearly a boy, was next to speak.

"Come with us, and make it snappy. My raid starts in 15 minutes and I'm not holding my party back just to wait on your sorry ass."

"I say, it's rather rude of you to ambush me like this," I protested, "What manner of a ruffian are you who's unable to respect the privacy of a fellow traveller?"

"Ooooh, privacy. Hey, Agent K, the rich kid knows!" snarked the female, "So I guess you won't be needing these photographs of you with your pants around your ankles, eh?"

What did she say? How uncouth! And coming from a lady, as well! My face flushed red as a rare mignon steak. Did they... after all, I did avail myself of the facilities at the campground, however primitive they may have been

"All right, what do you want, you bounder?" I spat. It seemed that I didn't have a choice in the matter in order to preserve my dignity as a gentleman.

"Our boss has a little... job proposition for you, lasting for as long as your stay on Gensokyo Island. Think of it as a little work experience."

And that's the story of how I, Yugen Zoku Makaron, became a "junior reporter" for the Bunbunmaru News.

Famous last words, rich boy.

A musty plantlike smell, tinged with a hint of ash, wafted through the air as I entered the office of Aya Shameimaru, my erstwhile boss for the duration of my residence on Gensokyo Island, to receive my first assignment. Pinned on the walls were photographs of individuals from all walks of life, but what stood out most was a row of younger persons clad in a traveller's garb. There were six in all, and I, Yugen, was the last in line. It was a photograph of me in my tent, cuddling my lifetime companion Viscount Theodore Fluffles-Bearikins...

Mortified, I listened only half-heartedly as I was instructed on my first task. It would be a challenging baptism of fire, or so I was told. A grand experiment would be taking place today at the docks, and I was to record the proceedings. As the traitorous travellers who had ambushed me yesterday had warned, I was unable to proceed to the docks to prepare for departure, not that I wanted to spend more time there than necessary considering its filthsome, squalid state. 

But an experiment there on a grand scale? What could possibly be taking place? The thought, or perhaps the pervasive stinging scent in the air which set my head into a spin? Nevertheless, I grudgingly accepted a notepad and a grubby, old-fashioned camera and set off to my destination overlooking the port.

By the time I reached the vantage point, my head was pounding almost as violently as my heart. The air itself seemed heavy and oppressive, pinning me to the ground with its weight. As the appointed time at which I was supposed to capture the results of the experiment drew near, I felt or perhaps even dreamed the blue sky was now swimming in a sea of colours, such was this sudden stupor that had washed over me. I squinted and prepared my camera, feeling as if... no, I could swear, that a mysterious dark mist settled over the harbour. 

Struggling to maintain my concentration, I stared intently at the port through the lens of my camera, and then it happened...

A ship, no, several ships arrived. All of them gartered in a myriad of different colours, their flags and markings bearing no common code, as if they had been drawn from a smattering of locations. Ignoring of the suspicious origins of these strange boats, the travellers who had been waiting at the docks blindly hurled themselves forward on their decks, apparently heedless of how these boats seemed to wink out of existence with the traveller upon them as they left the port and passed through the fog once more. 

And out of the corner of my eye, I was certain I saw a solitary dark figure leap from one of the mysterious boats, darting towards the immigration checkpoint and vanishing...

Perhaps we should all be glad that the camera can't zoom in any closer than it already has.

As the fifth and last boat coursed through the fog, it seemed to draw the miasma along with it, suddenly filling my field of view with light, a brightness which highlighted a gaping vacuum on the port where five ragged travellers had previously stood. And as the haze lifted, the suppressing heaviness around me which held me prone suddenly lifted as well, flooding my body with a multitude of sensations - a coursing wind with the force of a hurricane, the blazing sunlight which scorched and raged, and above all, an overpowering, dank stench of sap and crushed herbs. I blacked out.

This has been the worst trip of my life.

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 20th April 2015

Traveller Updates
A boat from (star) Island arrived. Samael departed.
A boat from de Caliméa Island arrived. Junzo departed.
A boat from Pepper Island arrived. Layla of Tayburger Island alighted, Rafa departed.
A boat from Cinnabar Island arrived. Pochi departed.
A boat from ??? Island arrived. Kyrie departed.

Children
Bertrand was born to Recette Lemongrass and Armin Arlert. It's their sixth child! He is an Easygoing Dreamer.
Tabitha was born to Shanghai Margatroid and Kanako Yasaka. It's their third child! She is a Confident Adventurer.
Yuriko, daughter of Youmu Konpaku and Drake Kitazawa, grew up. She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!
Salvatore was born to Tia Arlert and Tadakichi Mihama. It's their third child! She is a Confident Designer.
Bruce, son of Desco Kazamatsuri and Mitsukuni Haninozuka, grew up. He was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!
Aya Shameimaru announced that she was pregnant with her and Shou Toramaru's fifth child! 

Gensokyo Gourmands
Mister Kimura tried a Salisbury Steak today. It's his All-Time Favourite food!