Growing Pains

Um... hello. It's Yuzu once again. My boss, Aya Shameimaru, gave me a thorough yelling at over my last two reports. "Why can't you do a good job of it? At least your other two friends are so woefully inept and caught up in their own psychological issues they're inherently entertaining regardless of what they write, but you just have to turn everything into a miserable situation."

So she told me to write something serious for once. Trying not to provoke my, ahem, unusual sense of humour is probably a good idea, yes... Especially considering that she'll have to deal with me for longer than my two compatriots ahead of me.

Today's theme is, interestingly enough, 'Growth'. Don't worry, I won't be writing an economics thesis on this. No doubt Aya must have considered this observing her son Hoshi aging from a bawling ball of flesh into a socially-inept but nevertheless happy-go-lucky misfit. It's an appropriate one, too, as today Gensokyo Island's residents celebrated the birthday of another ne'er-do-well whose ego towers over his otherwise miniature stature. That person is Overlord Laharl.

Funny, I think I got Laharl's birthday wrong. It's 12 years since Disgaea was released ... I've gotta check his data. By the way I didn't like Disgaea D2.

Surrounded by his significant other, best friend, and fellow hellspawn, Laharl celebrated the successful passage of another year full of evil deeds, misdemeanours, and fervent denials of the presence of even a single shred of goodness in his heart. 

It's gonna be harder for him to deny the existence of love, though, consider that it was he who confessed to Shinmyoumaru Sukuna, that they're now married and have two kids between them, and that they live under a thumb of a tyrannical overlord who won't allow married couples to exist in a state of anything other than "love" between them. Like a square watermelon, we've no choice but to grow to fit the box we're given.

Speaking of really-thousand-year-old beings with hair antennae, today Miko Toyosatomimi grew tired of her dyed hair and asked Okuu's Look-alike to treat her to a bathhouse, to which she readily complied. Oddly enough, several hours later Miko asked for yet another bath despite the dye having already washed out, and Okuu's Look-alike agreed again without complaint. Perhaps the unusually quick agreement to these requests may be due to the possibility that Okuu's Look-alike has a fetish for staring at Vocaloids who may actually be ancient Japanese princes naked and up to their neck in steaming bath water. Who sing pop songs. Both times.

Eew, look at that dandruff spilling from her hair.

I hear that regularly soaking in hot springs helps make one's libido grow as well. Perhaps Miko Toyosatomimi's experiences might be able to prove that, for shortly after her baths she asked Okuu's Look-alike for a very ... um, personal request. By which I mean procreating with Marisa Kirisame, of course, Okuu's Look-alike being a eugenicist enforcing a permission-based birth control policy on Gensokyo Island and most certainly not someone anyone, anyone in sound mind or with any interest in the continued existence of the world would want to procreate with. Permission to procreate was, as expected, granted.

It wasn't long after that Okuu's Look-alike received a similar quests from another islander, this time one who's already been known to be fond of introducing new Touhou characters to this world. That person being Junya Ohta, naturally, who was hoping to work together with Reimu Hakurei to add a Stage 5 boss to his latest game. This most recent declaration means that the pairing of ZUN and Reimu are now the sole holders of the couple with the most children, bringing Gensokyo Island to the illustrious new height of five children per family. I wonder what Chairman Mao would have to say about that one...?

 Two dads ponder doing the naughty once again. Can you guess who the second character is from the quote alone?

All children (excepting Okuu's Look-alike, of course) have to grow up someday, and judging by the trend of things on Gensokyo Island recently Miko and ZUN and their respective spouses have a good chance of finally getting one of the children placed as a permanent resident - if it has the right combination of features and personality. Indeed, ZUN and Reimu's fourth child Junzo is here waiting with us at the docks, and he'd be pretty miffed if he had to look after a younger sibling her along with waiting for a ship. Wait ... but he'd probably be more upset and jealous if a younger sibling did receive an apartment ... so it's lose-lose. Such is the way of things among travellers at the port.

Today, we were also joined by Chiyo Mihama and Shikieiki Yamaxanadu's fourth child, the very imaginatively named Chiyoko (it's a real name, look it up), who was quite happily evicted from her parents' home and sent out into the cruel, cruel ... port, now the most junior of the 13 of us. Happily, I'd say, because her parents were pretty sure she'd be sent off as a traveller from the moment she was even conceived, though in the case of Chiyoko happiness was probably not a consideration. Welcome, Chiyoko, and I hope you like Umi's singing because you're gonna have to get used to it.

Lastly, here on Gensokyo Island we today witnessed a very unusual spectacle which, I daresay, has not happened on many other islands on this world. It was today that Konata Izumi proposed to her boyfriend, Ramza Beoulve, at the train station. That's not very rare in itself. However, what was especially uncommon about the pairing of Konata and Ramza was that Ramza just celebrated his 18th birthday earlier this month, and being 18 years old makes him technically an adult ... who's in love with Konata who's technically a child.

Hey, Shou, do you know what humans make from a tiger's ... Hot Dog? Now you do!

 No, Shou, it isn't an improper relationship at all. It's perfectly legal since Konata and Ramza became sweethearts while both were still (technically) children, and Ramza just happened to be right on the cusp of being officially an adult. However, this created a rather odd situation where Ramza's acceptance of the proposal set the two on the path to marriage ... except that Konata wasn't of the legal age for marriage. So ... this happened.

 A subtle change in the Age-o-matic text ... but it's only visible if you somehow get a adult and a child to be sweethearts.

Ramza's reaction to Konata's request for Okuu's Look-alike to use an Age-o-matic on her was... unusual, to say the least. He seemed perfectly happy, taking a seat at the corner of the room to watch what was a typical procedure for children desiring to get married, except in this case it was for only one member of the prospective couple. And that was what made all the difference...

 Notice Ramza and Konata's heights. What do you mean Konata's taller than me now? If only I hadn't grown older I could have been taller, too!

Ramza's jaw dropped as the Age-o-matic worked its wonders, and granted Konata a totally awesome pair of high-heeled shoes out of nowhere that allowed her to stand several inches over Ramza now. Gosh, whoda thunkit. And, moral of the story, this is why people who are techniaclly adults really, really shouldn't be making out with people who are technically children. But Okuu's Look-alike didn't really care and was, indeed, laughing all the way to Konata and Ramza's wedding. Congratulations to the happy couple - just don't get height envy, little boy! 

With Konata and Ramza's wedding, that brings the total number of wedded couples on Gensokyo Island to twenty in total, that's forty out of fifty-three islanders married! Wow, I'd hate to be one of the last thirteen unmarried singles - you'd have pretty much everyone around you and even the freaking security cameras asking 'Hey, so when are you popping the question?' pretty much every day. And mothers and mothers-in-law bothering you with cries of "Hey, I want grandkids!". Ugh. I'm so glad all I need to do is sail from island to island, see the world, and just stay alive.

Do you have this many married couples on your island? The drain on travel tickets is hellish!

On that note, of the thirteen remaining unmarried islanders, six are in a relationship, while the remaining seven are truly singletons. Of particular note is the fact that only two unattached adults remain - Suwako Moriya and Mister Kimura, meaning that if married and attached characters' relations stayed as they are these two would have no one to fall for but each other. And frankly, that's a match made in hell (or heaven, for a creepy lolicon like Mister Kimura). 

Okuu's Look-alike, if you have any decency in you, you'd add some new islanders to give them an alternative match right now! She told me that she's been trying, but there were complications such as "not finding an actor that looks similar enough to the actual character", "looking for voice actors so they don't sound exactly the same as other islanders", and the usual crap like "I have no ideas and no time to think of new ideas". What a disaster.

In fact, as things stand, due to the lack of new adult islanders Gensokyo Island has grown to the point of what one might call a 'mature' island, where relationships are mostly fixed unless the island's dictator makes it a point to mess things up by deliberately being mean to them. And I have to say that though Okuu's Look-alike is in fact a pretty bad person, but I have yet to see signs of such behaviour. 

But if we don't see some new residents invited to mix things up over the next few days, things might get just as monotonous in Mii Apartments as it is down here at the docks. Those are the growing pains of every island, and that's why any of us even need those otherwise utterly abhorrent dictators, anyway. Now get to it!

BUNBUNMARU NEWS, 30th January 2015

Happy 11th Birthday, Overlord Laharl?

Relationships and Marriage

Konata Izumi proposed to Ramza Beoulve today. He accepted! Congratulations to the newly married couple!

Children

Chiyoko, daughter of Chiyo Mihama and Shikieiki Yamaxanadu, grew up. She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!

Miko Toyosatomimi announced that her wife Marisa Kirisame was pregnant with their third child!

Junya Ohta announced that his wife Reimu Hakurei was pregnant with their fifth child!

Gensokyo Gourmands

Shou Toramaru tried some Tap Water today. He thought it was the Worst! 

Aphorism, ho!

Heyyy everyone! It's, say my name, Umi here again with the daily updates! On the first note, it's fair to say that my daily concert was the most interesting thing that happened here on Gensokyo Island today! Wait ... what do you mean, saying that means it's been a boring day?

In fact, my performance has been so wonderful that my audience has just recently increased by one, with more to come in the next few days! Well, yeah, there is the fact that Kyrie was kicked out of her parents' house, and Chiyoko will soon follow her, and we travellers don't really have much entertainment other than desperately scrabbling for food among the detritus along the cliff's face ... but that's why I'm here! 

Hoshi, whom we all know is most definitely not the anti-messiah (but might, according to Ken Izumi, probably be a space alien) was unable to attend my concert today as he was busy moving into his new apartment given to him by Okuu's Look-alike. It was nice of his dad Shou Toramaru to drop by too and give him tips on mooching off others ... I mean on healthy Gensokyo Island living.

An uncanny family resemblance in the Toramaru family ... wait, look at the time!

Of course, the number one step towards healthy living as a resident of Mii Apartments is to eat everything you can, whether it's hot, cold, sweet, sour, salty, American, Italian, looks like fish poop, is obviously inedible ... because, y'know, you might discover that it's your favouritest food ever! Despite only having first tasted it at that very moment! And then you can eat that and only that from then on, forever, because it's your favouritest food and it's the only thing you'll ever want to eat for the rest of your life! Isn't that wonderful?

Sometimes it takes a little bit of culinary adventure to discover that you might like something more than anything else in the world. Today, Kikuchiyo Kanbei, Emperor-in-exile of the very Japanese-like kingdom of Yellow Comet, tried some very Western Hot Chocolate. He absolutely loved it, more than anything else in the world, even though it was the first time he'd tasted it, except for something else which he couldn't really remember at that point in time. But we're talking about a dotty old monarch with a short-term memory more ephemeral than a goldfish's, so it's okay!

Don't food preferences make so much sense when you spell it all out and think about it for a moment? It's fascinating, isn't it? Even General Berthold Gregor living next door thought it was so fantastic that he choked on his Ice Cream Cone, and decided he now hated it more than everything else in the world except something which he also couldn't remember at the time. Old folks can be so funny sometimes, don't you think?

The wacked-out face Miis make when they get their Favourite food has been known to set some players gagging...

Of course, getting others to actually like what you give them, although perhaps beyond the ability of one so straightforward as Okuu's Look-alike, is the duty of everyone who deals with members of the public. An idol like me, for example! But there are many others who fulfil similar roles here on Gensokyo Island, like the shopkeepers, too. Unfortunately, with none of my superstar quality, the wooden, robotic heads of the faceless automatons who man the shops here on Gensokyo Island aren't really advanced enough to do anything more than carry out basic transactions.

If you had someone clever enough to actually recommend something you might want to buy and eat running those shops, wouldn't it be so much easier to find something you'd actually like? Or maybe they'd do something more unscrupulous, like try to sell you the most expensive thing in the shop at an eye-gouging price while trying to convince you it's the one thing you've always desired in your entire life? 

Brr ... that's a scary thought. Oh, speaking of which, today's interview was with one such resident of Gensokyo Island who formerly worked as a shopkeeper, and decided to settle down and seek a married life here after accumulating a mountain of savings made from swindling hapless inhabitants of a fantasy town  over such things as walnut bread and slime jelly... ahem. So, on that note, please allow me to introduce you to Recette Lemongrass of Pensee!

Vending machines inside a vending machine? What the heckles???

Recette Lemongrass

All information correct as of 29 January 2015

 Recette hanging out with a ... hey, is that Hito??? Before all the stress bleached his hair yellow?

Name: Recette Lemongrass

Nickname: Recette

Date of Birth: 29th December 2007

Personality: Easygoing Optimist

Favourite Colour: Red

Quotation: "Yepperoni!"

Recette Lemongrass is the main character of Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale, a doujinsoft game produced by EasyGameStation and localised into English by Carpe Fulgur. In Recettear, Recette discovers that her father has gone missing and has left her saddled with a massive debt, to be collected by a loanshark fairy by the name of Tear, or else risk losing her home. Recette has no choice but to convert her house into a store and collect items to sell for a profit in order to pay off her father's debts. On the way, she makes new friends, hangs out with adventurers, uncovers a nationwide conspiracy, and establishes a stranglehold over an entire town's commerce. It's as unique and unusual a game as the description makes it out to be.

I was in no doubt that Recettear, being one of my favourite doujinsoft games outside of Touhou that I've ever played, would have a representative on Gensokyo Island, and main character and cutie-pie Recette is it! Credit should also go to Carpe Fulgur, whose creative localisation gave Recettear's characters many memorable lines to work with that have etched themselves onto my consciousness, turning an already excellent game into a work of art.

Recette is, much like her game counterpart, actually a decently nice person who's always cheerful and optimistic - often irrationally so. Since she no longer runs an item store on Gensokyo Island, she can often be found mixing around with other islanders who share her interests and her innocent and childlike personality, although she is rather prone to snarking about others when things turn sour. Much better than flying into a (omnicidal, genocidal, tyrannicidal) fit of rage, I should think!

 Yep, that's today's news. Recette's going to make a new investment in baby things!

Husband: Armin Arlert

Best Friend: Shou Toramaru

Children: Juan, Tia Arlert

Recette and Armin Arlert, one of the happiest and cutest albeit least productive pairings, today announced that they would like to make a new addition to their family! It almost seems like perfect timing - the same was true for Shikieiki Yamaxanadu. 

It's interesting to think about how Mii couples complement each other, in story terms, and I like to imagine that Recette and Armin get along because each finds the other's most characteristic traits inoffensive, and indeed a refreshing supplement to their own personality. Recette is always sunshine and rainbows, but she knows that she needs to think and be serious every so often, and she isn't good at that. On the other hand, thinking is Armin's strong suit, but what he desires most is freedom and happiness, and Recette is someone who exemplifies and is practically overflowing with those.

Recette's best friend is Shou Toramaru, whose incarnation on Gensokyo Island is remarkably genial and approachable. They hit it off almost immediately after Shou was introduced to the island, but thankfully this isn't a threat to Recette and Armin's marriage, due to the age difference between the two. It might well be because Shou also demonstrates many of Armin's traits, but is slightly more outgoing and less morose, and Recette might find Shou as approachable as an older sister, which she never had as an only child. It's actually really satisfying to see two mostly inoffensive characters getting along well, since that means no worries that they might actually be coming up with some evil plot to take over the island!

Come buy my wares! They're really cheap! Only 300% markup! Get it now while stocks last!

Food Preferences:

Worst Ever: Salisbury Steak

Okuu's Look-alike Rating - Salisbury Steak: Love! Probably better known as "Hamburg Steak", Salisbury Steak is essentially just mince formed into a patty and served as a steak with demi-glace and garnish, rather than as a burger in a bun. What's not to like about it, Recette? Especially since she loves (the usual) Steak. Well, I guess I'd love Steak more than Salisbury Steak too, because at least you know Steak came from a single slice of meat, while the mince could have come from anywhere...

Song Participation:

Gotta Slay ' em All, Rap, backup dancer for The Recon Corps

Living Next Door to Alice, Musical, lead singer for Three Dolls Down

I guess I should explain what the Musical song, Living Next Door to Alice, is all about. It's about ... living next door to Alice ... Alice Margatroid, that is. And Alice is.... weird. And pervy. And kinky. And has a doll joint fetish. You ever hear that creepy screaming and crying deep within the night which sounds something like "Maaareeessaaaaa!!!"? That's Alice. That's living next door to Alice.

Just like currency. And influenza. Recette really loves that pirate outfit, doesn't she, that scallywag.

Apartment: Apt. 204

Islander Rating: High Tier

Recette is, above all, a joy to work with and play with thanks to her sunny disposition. Her fondness for sweets and cutesy, girly things also means that it's easy to get on her good side. She's also really friendly when approached, and it doesn't take long before a new islander either wants to meet her or gets introduced to her. That distinctive side ponytail is really cute, too!

It's true that she has yet to express a preference for a favourite food, but since she's so friendly and optimistic she rarely gets into fights or becomes depressed and needs cheering up - though there was one memorable time when she tried to confess to Overlord Laharl, then still Shinmyoumaru Sukuna's boyfriend, and was told very politely to go disembowel herself. Since then, however, she's been absolutely happy living with Armin and has yet to feel down about anything. If there was a ray of sunshine in the blackened morass that is Gensokyo Island, Recette Lemongrass is it.

It would be all too easy to give Recette the Humble interior, which bears an eerie resemblance to the game over scenario in Recettear, but I'd like to think she has moved beyond that at this point. I gave her the creepy Mask interior because I thought it looked similar to the inside of her shop, with all the weird treasures it sold, and she really hated it! But she has yet to ask for a change of interior since then, so I suppose she must have warmed up to it. And I guess her fondness for the pirate costume must be because the outfit, with its colour scheme and all its belts, buckles, and pockets, reminds her of her overalls from the game.

Here in Tomodachi Life, despite what the memes circulating on the internet might tell you, Recette is not a greedy, money-grubbing swindler, but actually a genuinely nice little girl who just wants to live a happy life, but who was thrust into a really difficult situation. Always beaming with happiness and optimism, she'll put a smile on you and your islanders'  faces. Wouldn't you want a little ray of sunshine in your life?

Her hair's actually brown, not orange, but she wanted it dyed! Wash out the dye with a bath set if you'd like.

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 29th January 2015

Children

Recette Lemongrass announced that she was pregnant with her and Armin Arlert's third child!

Gensokyo Gourmands

Berthold Gregor tried an Ice Cream Cone today. He thought it was the Worst!

Kikuchiyo Kanbei tried some Hot Chocolate today. It's his Favourite food!  

Wings of Flibbertigibbet

No, as far as I can tell there aren't any Starcraft characters on this island yet.

... ahem ... yes. Um, it's me, Yuzu.

So, ah, after some gentle persuasion by my boss, Aya Shameimaru, I wish to announce an amendment to my previous statement. Hoshi, the third child and second son of Aya and her husband Shou Toramaru, is most definitely not a hellspawned demon-possessed anti-messiah. Most definitely not, as Aya, Shou, and the young Hoshi himself have personally assured me, with most sincere and earnest threats of violence unto my well-being. 

See, look at the photographs here. Hoshi is certainly a perfectly normal and well-adjusted child, isn't he? We're all so glad that Okuu's Look-alike performed that ritual to transfer any evil within the child unto Sanae Kochiya and Baldren Gassenarl's third child and second daughter, Kyrie, who was going to be sent off as a traveller anyway. 

Look at the pure evil radiating from Kyrie's eyes! That evilness transference ritual must have worked perfectly! Aya and Baldren must both be so proud. And hooray, yet another crazed maniac with a superiority complex lined up along the docks and reducing the share of food for the rest of us

Hoshi, totally normal and not psycho at all, even when using a knife! Kyrie, evil berserker death glare. It's the evidence, folks!

It seems, however, that expunging the evil from Hoshi has left his mind permanently altered, though. Instead of being the calculating, insidious Independent Artist he once was, he has now become a carefree, happy-go-lucky Easygoing Optimist. This is actually the first case of Okuu's Look-alike has actually tried to meddle with a child's personality, even when their personality didn't exactly match the character she was thinking of at the time. Truly, how groundbreaking, his parents must be so proud.

Indeed, Aya and Shou were so overjoyed and grateful that they banded together with some other islanders and threw a party for Okuu's Look-alike to thank her for her help in solving problems on Gensokyo Island. Especially the problem of a potential demonic possession (completely unrelated to the fact that actual demons do live on the island). In fact, that was four thousand problems solved, and counting. 

Congratulations, Okuu's Look-alike, for bending to your islanders every whim and pampering them to their heart's fancy even as you oppress and mistreat them for your own sick twisted pleasure. It's a fair deal, after all! In fact, Yuuka Kazami, infamous sadist, was so proud of such an arrangement that she offered to present the award to Okuu's Look-alike personally.

It's been 3,000 ... I mean 4,000 problems. I'm so proud *sniffle*

Lastly, a letter from Gensokyo Island's most travelled son, Sukuna Shinmyoumaru and Overlord Laharl's child Vytautas arrived today, although he hadn't actually visited a new island. Rather, it was from Streetpass Relay Point Island, which as all of us travellers know isn't really an island, rather it's just a nickname for "Lost in the middle of freaking nowhere". 

Still I'm sure his parents were glad to hear he was still alive. I'm worried, though. He's almost getting as experienced as me. That's just dreadful. No, I'm not jealous, it's simply because anyone just as experienced as me tends to lose everything good about them and become a horrible, cynical, snide, insufferable, and utterly pessimistic sort of person. Or you end up snapping from the stress and turning into a self-deluded egomaniac like Umi-senpai, which is arguably worse. Such is the inevitable fate of travellers that survive their first steps into this miserable place we call home.

Everywhere in the world looks like Streetpass Relay Point Island, deserted except for a crab. Where'd he get the drink?

Ah, it's a beautiful, cruel world, isn't it? To be honest, I'd rather hide behind a wall and live blissfully unaware of everything else, than have to know that we live forever cowering in fear from these wicked beings we call tyrants and dictators of islands. Ironic, no? How people like us travellers are paralysed not by a narrowness of the mind, but by the knowledge of just how vast the world truly is.

Speaking of which, today we have an interview with an expert on the subject of the world out there, a professional free spirit if you will. He's a person who will let his mind speak when his physical strength cannot, most certainly a deviation from the usual trend of the assorted people of mass destruction on this island. I'm quite fond of him, really, and it's not just because we have the same hair colour. So, please meet Armin Arlert.

Armin Arlert

All information correct as of 28 January 2015

 On that day, the Touhous received a grim reminder...

Name: Armin Arlert

Nickname: Armin

Date of Birth: 3rd November 2009

Personality: Independent Free Spirit

Favourite Colour: Brown

Quotation: "Wie sin de Jäger"

Armin Arlert is a supporting main character from the manga and later hit anime series Attack on Titan by Hajime Isayama. He is the best friend of main character Eren Jaeger, and while fighting isn't his strong point his greatest strengths are his intelligence, quick mind, and a willingness to speak out to protect his friends. He is also my favourite character from the series, and the first non-Touhou character to be introduced. Hooray!

I already knew from the beginning, when starting off Gensokyo Island, that it wouldn't be populated entirely by Touhou Project characters. No doubt the gender issue was a problem (let's not get into that argument here) but I also wanted to include other characters I liked to see how they would get along with Touhou characters. While Armin was not the first non-Touhou character I made in Mii Maker, he was the first to be added to the island, and thus a trend was broken.

In the case of Armin specifically, I wanted a character from Attack on Titan, but not one that was so popular that everyone else would have them on their islands (Mikasa... *cough cough*). It's strange that while pretty much every Attack on Titan fan agrees that Armin is a great character and that he's also one of the cutest/smartest, few of them would declare outright that he's their favourite character from the series. Well, here on Gensokyo Island, Armin can finally take on a life of his own, in a world where wits actually count just as much as muscle. But how successful has he been? Let's see!

Armin and Recette, a happily wedded couple. Well, both are calculating and have others do the hard work for them, so it fits!

Wife: Recette Lemongrass

Best Friend: Miko Toyosatomimi

Children: Juan, Tia Arlert

Ex-Sweethearts: Shinmyoumaru Sukuna

As already discussed, Armin was formerly dating Shinmyoumaru Sukuna, but unfortunately Overlord Laharl's charms put an end to that relationship (and my hopes of a titan-slaying OTP). However, Armin hooked up with Recette Lemongrass instead, in a sort of pair-the-spares moment as they were the last of the second batch of islanders without a partner. As dismissive as that may seem, they've actually been a lovely couple so far that, while not especially inclined towards procreation, have yet to give me any real trouble. It's also worth noting that Armin and Recette's marriage was the first marriage on Gensokyo Island which did not involve a single Touhou Project character, and until now there is only one other such pairing.

Armin and Recette have had two lovely children so far, Juan and Tia. Juan bears the distinction of being the only child to be born for whom I accepted his default name - I wanted something a little exotic-sounding, and I thought the idea of naming your first kid Juan was kinda funny. Geddit? But anyway, he has gone on to become one of Gensokyo Island's more successful travellers. Tia, whom as you know only grew up recently, has yet to make progress in Gensokyo Island's hierarchy, but she already has a sweetheart in the form of Tadakichi Mihama. That's some cute puppy love right there. Geddit? Oh, puns.

As for best friends, Armin is actually Miko Toyosatomimi's third best friend, after Marisa Kirisame and Yuuka Kazami. Maybe Miko thinks Armin is a person with honourable desires, while Armin appreciates Miko as a genuinely respectable (albeit ruthless) authority figure, a rarity in the Attack on Titan world.

A small family, but one which has achieved many things and worth being proud of. Also, their normalness is almost abnormal in itself.

Food Preferences:

Worst: Salami

Worst Ever: Split-pea Soup

Okuu's Look-alike Rating - Split-pea Soup: Dislike. I don't recall ever tasting split-pea soup but I'd imagine it's a lot like lentil soup, which is basically the real-life version of something that fills you up and gives you a little energy, but generally tastes as bland as wet paper. I guess if I was really hungry I'd eat it, but I wouldn't go out of my way to find it, let alone pay for it.

Song Participation:

Gotta Slay 'em All, Rap, joint-lead singer for The Recon Corps

Living Next Door to Alice, Musical, backup singer for Three Dolls Down

Of course Armin would have to sing a song, or more specifically do a rap about killing titans. But why oh why couldn't the original pairing of Armin and Sukuna have stayed firm? It would have been really awesome to have a titan-slaying married couple that also raps about it... except Armin really isn't all that good at killing titans. And pretty much every single person on earth is a titan for Sukuna, including Armin himself. 

 Yup, Armin Arlert and Kyubey Incubator. That describes the two of them in a nutshell.

Apartment: Apt. 203

Islander Rating: Average Tier

It's strange that Armin, a member of the second batch of Gensokyo Island residents, has an islander level low enough to be equal to or even exceeded by members of the fourth batch. It's true that Armin has hardly had a charmed life, being the first islander to be dumped, as well as having both his disliked foods but none of his likes discovered. Armin, being a free spirit, also tends to act more self-reliant, wanting to do things for himself rather than bother that horrible dictator Okuu's Look-alike for help.

However, the lack of children in his and Recette's marriage could also play a part, since children provide a major boost to at least one of the couple's happiness levels, and children keep their parents awake later at night too! Armin is also quite individualistic, perhaps due to the way he thinks, and thus frequently gets into many arguments while not making many new friends himself. Overall, it's really hard to explain, but in a cast of freaks and weirdos all clamouring for attention, a loner, thinker archetype who hates to be thrust into the centre of things is going to have difficulty standing out. It's a shame that Armin even blames himself (in his quotes) for being too weak to catch up to everyone else.

Nevertheless, Armin is certainly determined to improve himself and not be a burden on everyone. To aid him in that task I've given him a Training interior so he can get fitter and keep up with the rest of them. But I gues what Armin needs most of all is someone who can appreciate him for what he really is - someone who likes to think and dream and wants to be free of these walls we call apartment buildings. And who really really hates titans. Are you that person?

You'll notice that's actually a girl's dress he's wearing. But it looks like the closest thing to a militia outfit! Don't worry, he's a boy!

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 28th January 2015

Island Updates (Population 53)

Please welcome Hoshi Toramaru, the newest resident of Gensokyo Island! He is an Easygoing Optimist.

Traveller Updates

Vytautas, son of Shinmyoumaru Sukuna and Overlord Laharl, wrote back from Streetpass Relay Point Island! He has visited 4 islands so far.

Relationships and Marriage

Hinoko Gassenarl and Tia Arlert became best friends!

Children

Kyrie, daughter of Sanae Kochiya and Baldren Gassenarl, grew up. She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!

Hoshi, son of Aya Shameimaru and Shou Toramaru, grew up. He was invited to live on Gensokyo Island!  

Eat, Drink, Be Maribel

Ugh... so hungry... and this stomachache is killing me ...

H....hello. Hito here. As you can see, I'm facing a problem that's .... a little more imminent than the birth of the anti-messiah. Twelve of us travellers have been living on rations for ten for almost a week now, and it's only going to get worse in the next few days. It's like that Okuu's Look-alike doesn't care any more... like she ever cared at all, I mean.

I can't stop ... all I can do is think about food, all day, all the time, just to stay conscious and knowing that I'm still alive. And those wicked Gensokyo Island residents... it's like they're rubbing it in our faces, mocking us for our hunger. I mean, what would happen today but yet another ostentatious birthday party for one of its more vain and aristocratic islanders?

Happy birthday, Margit! You don't need that two-timing player Kurt anyway! And is that ... Archie and Maxie in the same room? And not fighting?

Margit Ravelli, the haughty and princess-like army lieutenant, celebrated her 25th birthday together surrounded by loved ones, close friends, and random passers-by. However, the gathering was alerted to an anomaly when the candles on the birthday cake were blown out by a sudden gust of wind. 

Unfortunately ... for us, that is ... the travellers who had banded together to raid the party for supplies had been discovered, and they were quickly driven off by small arms fire, tactical nuclear weapons, and Mega Sharpedo and Mega Camerupt. Shortly after, the travellers (all Gensokyo Island-born) were captured by their parents, given a harsh spanking and sent back out into the cruel outdoors once again ... without supper. Is this world really so uncharitable?

Like I said, it's as if they were trying to mock us for our hunger. Okuu's Look-alike even organised a cook-off today among the islanders, producing some very unusual concoctions. I mean, sure, they're strange, but I'd be much more likely to eat them than that weird glowing glob I picked off the beach the other day!

 What is this I don't even. I already have the food, but it's the silly adjectives that make it funny.

Ugh ... I mean if we travellers actually had a frying pan ... and use of Mii Apartments' kitchen, we could actually cook some of the stuff we pick up instead of just putting it straight down our throat. After washing it first, of course. With sea water. I don't want to be reminded how many of us simply couldn't wait for that one person to get out of the portable toilet and decided to utilise the environment for that purpose.

And then, what's more, later in the day Okuu's Look-alike held a barbecue! Or more correctly, gave a Barbecue to someone, that person being the infamous sadist and genocidal killer Yuuka Kazami. And she was ecstatic about it. Have you ever wondered? It's called a Barbecue, but a barbecued ... what? Is that what they do with those kids that go missing on this island???

 When Yuuka asks you for a Barbecue, you don't say 'Barbecued what?'. You just light the fire. And run as far away as you can.

Graugh ... even though my stomach's already empty, it still makes me retch thinking about what horrible deeds could have been perpetrated on this irrepressibly wicked island. No doubt it all comes from the top.

A vile, wicked dictator of an island obviously only sees fit to invite others of a similar mentality to live there. And these minions, these underlings ... nay, these accomplices to Okuu's Look-alike and her monstrous ways revel with each new cruel deed in which they partake. Why was I so worried about those rumours anti-messiah, about the great old ones - for I've now realised all too late the devil is all around me at this moment, and these so-called residents are just enacting a ritual as part of their servitude to a dark power.

The big cheese! Nothing's bigger than cheeses, not even the Beatles. The two mustachioed bananas agree.

Oh ... hey, Yuzu. What do you mean I was supposed to be presenting a new interview today? What do you expect me to do when I can't even eat enough to think straight? Do the work and get paid - do you really believe that? It's all a conspiracy, man! We need to rise up, tear down the tyrant running this place, and...

Umi? I ... didn't know you were here! I ... I know I really shouldn't swear in front of girls but... damn, I'm so hungry, I can't even pay attention. I'm sorry for ... where'd she go?

Ugh .. can't see. Can't...think .... so hungry. So sleepy...

*thump*

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 27th January 2016

Happy 25th Birthday, Margit Ravelli!

Gensokyo Gourmands

Yuuka Kazami tried some Barbecue today. It's her Favourite food!

Kikuchiyo Kanbei tried some Mango today. He thought it was the Worst! 

Heartbreaker, Salt Shaker

Whoa! Hi, my loyal fans! It's your beloved idol Umi here! It's been a week, and I'm still top of the charts here on Gensokyo Island, so give it up for me while you still can, alright? Sorry, autographs have to wait till the end of the presentation, okay?

It's happy days, happy days here at Gensokyo Island! Don't listen to what that worrywart Hito says, there hasn't been any demonic possession or alien infestation or whatever. And Yuzu? Oh, she's so hilarious when she spreads those funny stories, and that dead serious face she puts on makes her so much cuter! Squee! 

I mean, just look at today's updates! Even in a place like this, populated with all manner of psychopaths and people of mass destruction, everyone can still have a good time. It's like they cancel each other out or something like that. Why, the denizens of Gensokyo Island were throwing another party today, celebrating the continued survival of one of their own!

ZUN announces - Youmu to appear in next Touhou game! Just kidding, but we allI know what her wish will be!

Isn't Youmu so cute, hanging out with her best friend and mentor Yuyuko Saigyouji, and her husband Drake Kitazawa? And that's Kyouko Kasodani in the background isn't it? Wow, she's such a friendly type, visiting everyone's birthday party. What? Hito, don't be stupid, I'm pretty sure she isn't adding poisonous Green Juice to the cake! She's just being friendly, and not plotting to murder everyone else, I'm sure of it!

After feasting on delicious birthday treats, the party guests were treated to another spectacle watching Gensokyo Island's funniest home videos. All of us had a right good laugh at that nasty rotten enemy of true love, Okuu's Look-alike, when Alice Margatroid did what all islanders have wanted to do at some point and played a naughty prank on her. Well done, Alice, you speak for us all!

 Fuuu .... this is the first time I failed to catch the Diamond. Dammit Alice!

And now, on to the focus of today's report, who just happens to be the centre of another breaking news story today. Shinmyoumaru Sukuna, whom I'll be interviewing later, was utterly delighted to hear along with her husband Overlord Laharl of the news of their child's adventures in distant lands.

Vytautas, son and first child of Sukuna and Laharl, wrote back again today from a new place, You&I Island. That's significant because it now makes him Gensokyo Island's most travelled son, the first traveller to have visited four different islands! Wow, I'm sure his parents must be so proud of him for being the first one to reach this milestone. However, I do notice his hair still isn't dyed yet - you've still got a long way to go to get to my level, Vytautas! Keep up the good work, you can do it!

Vytautas reports from You&I Island with a picture with his botanically-inclined friend, Michiko-san.

Following the announcement of this happy news I decided to proceed with my interview with Shinmyoumaru Sukuna, and also to find out how she felt about having been the one to have made this possible for Gensokyo Island. But that in itself was a bit of a tall story.

Y'know, I half-expected her to say something like "One small step for midgets, one giant leap for Gensokyo..." or similar, but she suddenly turned really aggressive and waved an oversized pointy needle at me and cut me short, trying to force me out of her house! She started screaming things like "You're too tall!" and "Seize in the session" or something like that, and when I asked her husband Laharl for help, he agreed with her!

I think she had it up to here with me, cutting them off while they were celebrating a joyful moment together. But heck, that's some short shrift I got from them. Long story short, she wouldn't budge an inch at first, but after a little apology we agreed to meet half-way. So now I have here with me today's biggest scoop, about Gensokyo Island's littlest inhabitant - Shinmyoumaru Sukuna!

Shinmyoumaru Sukuna

All information correct as of 26 January 2015

 A (admittedly rather tall) child traveller. An aged up Sukuna. Do the math.

Name: Shinmyoumaru Sukuna

Nickname: Sukuna

Date of Birth: 12th August 2013

Personality: Easygoing Buddy

Favourite Colour: Purple

Quotation: "Sie sin das esen"

Shinmyoumaru Sukuna is the Stage 6 Final Boss character of Touhou 14: Double Dealing Character by Team Shanghai Alice. Based on the fairy tale of Issun-boshi (the Japanese version of Tom Thumb), Sukuna is a member of a race of midgets who has made use of the Miracle Mallet, a magical item from the same story, to enlarge herself to the size of a small child. Like the character from the story, Sukuna also wields a giant needle as a weapon along with the mallet. However, unlike the character from the story, Sukuna is canonically quite naïve at heart, easily fooled by others, and really doesn't want anything more than to be respected.

That being said, like the Sukuna from Touhou canon, Sukuna on Gensokyo Island's most distinctive feature is being miserably short, indeed, as small as Mii maker will possibly allow. However, that's about where the similarities end. Despite my attempts to get her personality as close to canon as possible, being an Easygoing Buddy, Sukuna has taken on a life of her own on Gensokyo Island, and thanks to the nature of the place, inevitably a villainous one as well.

It's hard to blame her, really. Being looked down upon both figuratively and literally for all of her existence, it's not a stretch to think she has a huge grudge against anyone taller than she is, which is to say pretty much all normal people in the world. Conveniently enough, her state of being on Gensokyo Island provides the best possible opportunity to have her vengeance. It was therefore not unexpected that she's somehow evolved into one of the most manipulative and vindictive denizens of the island. Sukuna may be small, but she has a vicious streak a mile wide.

"You must be at least this tall to get married". Not a problem for the Miracle Mallet!

Husband: Overlord Laharl

Best Friend: Shikieiki Yamaxanadu

Children: Vytautas, Samael

Ex-Sweethearts: Armin Arlert

Try to turn your attention away from the seemingly perfect pairing of two extremely short people for a moment. Or rather, consider how it was that her present husband was the one responsible for the blossoming of Sukuna's reputation as a manipulative little wench.  

Sukuna has the distinction of being the very first person to dump her previous boyfriend, Armin Arlert, as a result of Overlord Laharl propositioning her. It was quite unfortunate, as I thought Sukuna and Armin were a very cute couple with a common motivation - killing all the titans. I even wrote a song for them to sing together! Unfortunately, it was not to be.

"Why didn't you just tell Laharl not to do it?" you say? Well, then Laharl would be the one ending up depressed, and if Sukuna and Armin's relationship was strong enough she'd reject his advances anyway. However, as it turns out, Sukuna dropped her former boyfriend like a hot potato. Maybe he was too tall for her? 

Sukuna's cruel streak showed its teeth when she viciously shot down Recette Lemongrass, ambushing her after she tried to get Laharl to date her and telling her in no uncertain terms to bugger off. Even after her marriage to Laharl, Sukuna continued behaving like a foxy little vixen, with relations between the two staying low for several weeks. Thankfully, with the benefit of hindsight, things turned out all right for both Sukuna and Armin and their respective spouses, but the story of Sukuna's tumultuous love life will be forever etched into my memory, a defining moment in her characterisation.

Vytautas and Samael. They have your X chromosome, Laharl, the rest is all me! Bwahahaha!!!

Food Preferences:

Favourite: Crepe

Okuu's Look-alike Rating - Crepe: Like. Again, it's one of those foods where knowing what exactly it's stuffed with is important. It really depends on the stuffing and the syrup if any, but I guess I wouldn't mind either sweet or savoury crepes. There are some flavours I like, of course, but unless I have more specific information I can't say for sure whether I'll like 'a crepe'.

Song Participation:

Gotta Slay 'em All, Rap, joint-lead singer for The Recon Corps

Um, you can probably guess the subject matter, and also the other lead singer, from the song and band name alone. However, it is most definitely one of my favourite songs that I've ever written, and if I had to pick just one to showcase it would be this one. It's that good.

Dang titans have been playing us like a game all this time! Even the ref is dead, too!

Apartment: Apt. 202

Islander Rating: Borderline Top-Tier

Surely having dumped a boyfriend alone isn't a reason to consider Sukuna a manipulative little schemer, and that would be absolutely right. What drives the point home, however, is Sukuna's bossy and demanding nature, even from one so, well, small. She won't stop kicking up a fuss unless she gets food, presents, and lots and lots of attention, preferably all within a short span of time and with no delay whatsoever.

As a result of this, she's regularly one of the highest-ranked on the Pampered Islanders table, despite being of the second batch of residents, and her level has also overtaken some of her predecessors. This has come despite the lack of an all-time favourite food, also demonstrating that simply knowing what to feed them isn't as important as Miis demanding your attention on a regular basis.

Even with all the marriages solidifying relationships all over the island, Sukuna has yet to really settle into a comfortable rhythm, constantly bickering and making snide comments about other islanders like the little gossip she is. It's just so unexpected, yet strangely fitting for a land as bizarre as Gensokyo Island, that the Alpha Bitch of the whole apartment block happens to be a so-called 'Buddy' who's a midget less than a foot tall. Don't let her lack of height fool you, she'll cut anything and anyone in her way down to size.

That's supposed to be a bowl on her head, or rather the closest hat to one I can find.

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 26th January 2015

Happy 12th Birthday, Youmu Konpaku!

Traveller Updates

Vytautas, son of Shinmyoumaru Sukuna and Overlord Laharl, wrote back from You&I Island! He has visited 4 islands so far!