Umi might be gone, but our workload as junior journalists certainly hasn't eased up - in fact, it's naturally gone up now that there's only two of us to do the job. Not like Umi ever did very much, anyway, spending most of her time holding those 'concerts' of hers - or shouldn't they be donation drives for mouldy fruit and vegetables, really? She learned a thing or two from Reimu Hakurei, it seems.
That being said, our boss Aya Shameimaru seems to have disappeared the last couple of days. Perhaps she's been seeking out a new and improved type of chilli dog to imitate a certain speed-obsessed rodent.
Speaking of rodents, Gensokyo Island's breeding campaign continues to bear fruit as today Okuu's Look-alike armed and equipped several more biological warheads ready to be launched out into this world to spread the plague of wacky punchlines and Touhou Project references. Let's take a quick glance at the intelligence, or rather the unintelligence.
From left to right, ZUN and Reimu with Reika, Miko and Marisa with Maiko, and Sycamore and Yuuka with Lily. They're quite decent, actually.
From what I can tell, Okuu's Look-alike actually had half a mind to invite any one of these three children to become residents of Gensokyo Island The other half a mind must have gone missing somewhere, as her stated reason for packing them off was the usual excuse that she had 'no idea what they could become'.
Such an unflattering statement about their child's future prospects did not seem to faze the parents, as they all happily obliged to having their kids packed off despite none of them yet having a child invited to move in. Or perhaps it was the omnipresent threat of the firing squad which moved them. It's not like these children don't have personalities, you know? Reika looks like the strong and silent type, Maiko seems like quite the little minx, and Lily looks like she has the potential to learn much from her mother... okay, that last one probably necessitates a deportation for the good of us all, rest of the world be damned.
That being said, we travellers were all children once, and we still are... physically, even if after a few successful voyages one realises that the only way to survive is to abandon any semblance of childlike thought. I therefore don't deny feeling a little envious when I see children with the fortune of being accepted into Mii Apartments (if one can call near-24 hour surveilance by Okuu's Look-alike a better fortune than just death) indulging in activities that will never be open to us. "Growing up" and "getting married", for instance.
Interestingly enough only one of any future child's grandparents will be a Touhou character. How's that for diversity?
Again, not because I "love" anyone or want to "marry" anyone, of course. I'm just envious of those able to experience a new perspective on life instead of being stuck with this perpetually sour world view. Today, Tadakichi Mihama proposed to his sweetheart Tia Arlert at the amusement park, but the funny thing is Tia was only born a few weeks ago, after I've arrived here, in fact. The thought of them... procreating just barely after having been born... you know that rodent metaphor I was on a while ago? Maybe fruit flies might be a better comparison.
However, it's also an important landmark for Gensokyo Island, as this is the absolute first time that two second-generation islanders have decided to get married, meaning that if their marriage produces any children, four of the current islanders will then have grandchildren. I wonder if they'll regard each other differently after that, although I can't say I'd envy a kid with four nutty grandparents living in close proximity to them...
Oh, Hito's come back to the docks, did he run somewhere earlier to mope about still missing Umi? What's that? You've got news? Whaaaaat???
Fumiko's 'Fumi' is just another pronunciation of the character for Aya. No relation to Fumoffu or the sort at all.
Now even I'm surprised! Our boss Aya was pregnant all this time? How did she hide it? Maybe she ran so fast she managed to dilate time itself? Or was it some special type of tiger Hot Dogs again? I'm banking on the tiger-style Hot Dogs, because her new child Fumiko seems to again have the same personality as her dad Shou, just like Hoshi did. I sense some black magic here...
What? You say that she kept it from me so I wouldn't write another stupid crappy article about an anti-messiah and get the other islanders to try to burn her at the stake? Why would I ever do such a thing? And I don't need to do anything at all for other islanders to want to burn Aya at the stake for her paparazzi ways anyway.
Ugh, more babies. Well, at least it fits in the theme of today's report, anyway. Last of all, today some residents of Gensokyo Island partook of yet another celebration of youth, or more rather the successful attainment eternal youth through dark magics.
Actually, it's 1443 years old. It's also a nice touch that the game picked the other Ten Desires character to present the news.
Miko Toyosatomimi, also known as 'Prince Shoutoku', celebrated yet another year of his/her/whatever's pretty much eternal life today alongside wife Marisa Kirisame, best friend Armin Arlert, both disguised as demons as part of the life-extending ritual. Maximillian Magma and Augustine Sycamore behind Miko may have been intended as sacrifices, but in any case it was not necessary since Miko's health seemed perfectly fine for the crusty old age of 115 1443, that's one thousand four hundred and forty-three years, folks.
I really shouldn't be too concerned, though. Even though Miko's some kind of religious fundamentalist evangelist who's also a dab hand at summoning a rain of bullets, she seems one of the more reasonable, or more accurately less psychopathic people on this island. One wonders if those thousand-over years have preserved the open-mindedness of youth, or bred out its impatience and brashness.
What's that, Hito? An assignment. I see, but there won't be time to complete it now. You'll have to deal with it when you finally quit mourning and get back on the job tomorrow It's the fifth stage of grief, you know, when you look back, smack yourself in the head and wonder aloud "so why the heck was I so upset in the first place just because someone I cared about very much died a terrible death". Yes, I know it's unlikely she's dead, but the metaphor holds.
Oh... we have to interview the last of the shorties on the second floor of Mii Apartments. This one's going to be a real toughie... Overlord Laharl, the famously dimunitive demon lord with hair antennae and a fondness for either going shirtless or wearing maid outfits. This'll be good.
That was a good match! So those crazy travellers are interviewing you next? Good luck, you'll need it.
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 6th February 2015
Children
Reika, daughter of Reimu Hakurei and Junya Ohta, grew up! She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!
Maiko, daughter of Marisa Kirisame and Miko Toyosatomimi, grew up! She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!
Aya Shameimaru announced that she was pregnant with her and Shou Toramaru's fourth child!
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 7th February 2015
Happy 1443rd Birthday, Miko Toyosatomimi!
Relationships and Marriage
Tadakichi Mihama proposed to Tia Arlert today. She accepted! Congratulations to the newly married couple!
Children
Lily, daughter of Yuuka Kazami and Augustine Sycamore, grew up! She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!
Fumiko was born to Aya Shameimaru and Shou Toramaru. It's their fourth child! She is an Independent Artist.
Gensokyo Gourmands
Overlord Laharl tried some Tea today. It's his All-Time Favourite food!
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