Blast from the Past

Whew... with that idiot Alex gone from the office, it's finally time for us to do something a little different!

What's so different, Kiba? In the end it's still work, drudgery for our daily bread. In other words, after finally actually seeing our boss Aya Shameimaru for the first time in over a week, what should be the first thing she'd do, but to dump a whole pile of letters and reports on us and tell us to sort it out?

Ah, but that's where the fun lies, silly! Real jobs where you have to slave away at something you hate are what sucks, on the other hand, being able to pry into other people's secrets, private affairs, all that nitty-gritty they've hoped to keep hidden away... that's the real gem, isn't it?

I suppose...

I heard that you've been preying on innocent little girls... now why don't you take a seat over here?

So... the first one... eh? EHHH???

What? Kiba, what the heck is it?

It's a letter from... me? Addressed to... the Kiba of the past. From the Kiba of the future.

What? How is that even possible? Is this some kind of overly-elaborate prank?

N... no way! I don't even have any idea what such a weird letter is doing here! Let me get it open and see what it's about... oh.... oh crap.

I'm getting a little worried when even Kiba stops joking around... what is it? As long as it won't make you explode in a poof due to a time paradox.

Dear Kiba of the past. Beware! It took many efforts to get this letter to reach you, so do not disregard my warnings! You are about to view the contents of some letters, some of which may be too difficult to believe. DO NOT question them. Unfortunately, I did... and now the Ministry of Love has arrested me for doubleplusungoodthink. You know what awaits in Room 101. You DO NOT want to see it. So whatever you do, do not make yourself a target by being some kind of sceptical prick and disbelieving everything you read. Love, Kiba from the future. (P.S. Alex is one of them...) 

There's a giant bloodstain there...

Makes me wonder how it got folded and put into a nice little envelope without blotting right through...  suspicious...

Kyaaa! Just get back to work and.... and put that creepy letter aside. 

Er... ahem... I think I will. Next on the pile...

 I must scream and I have a WHOPPING GREAT MOUTH WITH WHICH TO DO IT!!! (Not for long, you won't)

Seems that Shinmyoumaru Sukuna and Overlord Laharl have just had their fifth child, Harlan, and he seems the spitting image of his dad. Except more psycopathic rather than right out evil like most demons would be.

Not bad, huh. With a face like that, I'd say it's something right out of a science fiction novel. Terrifying. What more can you say about a family who has produced a grand total of just one non-maladjusted child out of their litter?

Implying that anyone on Gensokyo Island actually fits the sensible definitions of normality... without having been corrupted into it from their usual whackjob, off-the-wall selves. And "only one normal kid"? What other family does that reminds me of, hmm...

 Fithos... lusec... wecos... vinosec...

And the next piece of evidence to demonstrate that Gensokyo Island is a perfectly normal place where anyone could live. We hereby present, the grown-up daughter of a girl with a doll obsession... and an unkillable, reality-warping, soul-stealing alien... hey! Isn't Alice Margatroid wearing almost the same (impossibly stupid) outfit that our idiot boss was wearing some time ago?

An odd coincidence, yes, but It must be the latest fashion in maternity wear... anyway, Gertrud does look awfully cute for such a little thing with a troubled past.

Hmm, there's also a disclaimer here... that reconstructive surgery was definitely not used to transform Gertrud from some horrid misshapen featureless abomination into a relatively normal looking humanoid for the purposes of infiltrating ordinary society and poisoning them with vile and monstrous thoughts. She is most definitely a normal girl... that's what the note says.

Maybe this is what the Kiba of the future was talking about...?

If it is, it's a pretty mild thing to be warning us about. We all know that that awful Okuu's Look-alike performs reconstructive surgery on horribly misshapen children pretty much on a whim. And besides, Gensokyo Island is full of villains, freaks, and abominable monstrosities, another one isn't going to doom the world any more than it already is.

I suppose you're right... let's just move on

Wow... Vytautas? It's been a while... Glad to hear that he's still alive somewhere in Lithuania... I mean Japan.
 

And now we have a letter here from... who? Wow, I can hardly believe it!
 

Huh? As long as it's not a letter from my copy from the future...
 

No, no! It's one of the travellers from way back in Gensokyo Island's history... well, half a year ago, that's almost history. Unlike a lot of those chittering little maggots milling about the docks you see today, this guy's been travelling since before I arrived on Gensokyo Island!
 

And you've been here pretty long yourself, too. You're practically one of them now!
 

Ugh, no, I just want to think of myself as... some kind of parasite, leeching off their wifi and clogging up their bandwith with all my online games and illicit downloads... ahem. Anyway, this guy here is Vytautas, the first son of Sukuna and Laharl whom we were talking about just a moment ago! Apparently, the last time he wrote back was all the way back in February, according to our records. That's pretty amazing for him to have survived this long...
 

Think about what your folks must be wondering about you. Kiba hasn't written back for almost six months, too...
 

That is... true... but it's not my fault they never check their email... because it's clogged up with spam from all the random weird crap I subscribe to over the Internet. But congratulations to this fellow for leaping up to share the title of Most Travelled Gensokyo Island child together with Chiyoko, daughter of Chiyo Mihama and Shikieiki Yamaxanadu, with 7 islands visited altogether.
 

 Please! Listen to me! The Archbishop Lazarus, he led us down here to find the lost p... AHHH... FRESH MEAT!!!
 

Hmm... here's another traveller's letter. Aya wasn't kidding when she said we had a whole stack of stuff to chew through. Who's it from... Belle, daughter of Yuuka Kazami and Augustine Sycamore...?
 

Wait... didn't she visit her parents' home over a week or so ago? And yet... huh? It says that she's only visited one island? And... it's not the same island as the one we've got here on her records... is this some kind of time distortion? What my clone in the future said?
 

There's a much easier explanation, don't be daft. It must have been the first island she visited, before she went to another one, then made the trip home to see her parents.
 

Ah, that makes sense... though I find it kind of strange how the traveller herself can get here faster than the letter she sent from the past?
 

Well... travellers have feet, y'know. Maybe she was making her way back here on her own, while the letter got lost somewhere. It happens...
 

Lost in the series of tubes, you say. Well... I suppose that's entirely possible, to think about it now... heh, how silly of me to get all suspicious like that... now on to the last one...
 

 By the Virgin, it be the luck of the oirish! Except... in this case, it was bad luck...
 

Hmm, it seems that Patchouli Knowledge and Overlord Mao have just had their fifth child, and he looks an awful lot like his mom... 
 

HEY! Wait, weren't we here before? I mean, we were just reporting about it the other day! That Patchouli and Mao had a kid... surely they didn't have another one! What happened to the old one?
 

Um...
 

It's in our records somewhere around here, isn't it? Our report from a couple of days ago? And that their kid was called Patrick... now, this one's called Pádraig? Wait, did they get an Irish guy to play the Doctor now? And he's an Independent Thinker instead of being an Outgoing Leader? What the hell's going on here?
 

Uh, Kiba, I think we should just calm down and accept that maybe there was a mistake somewhere...
 

I mean, just look, even his face isn't exactly the same as before! I remember it clearly! Now just hold on to this while I dig through those archives! Surely our last report hasn't gone missing so quickly already? It's gotta be somewhere around here...
 

You know, Kiba, I have a bad feeling that this is what your clone from the future warned you about...
 

Shut up and help me find it! Damn, where is it? Or did the Ministry of Truth get to it already...
 

*KNOCK KNOCK*
 

... oh bugger. 
 

 In place of a boot stamping on a human face forever, here's a picture of Tia Arlert rocking out after receiving Miniplenty-approved Split Pea Soup.

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 14th July 2015
 

Gensokyo Gourmands

Tia Arlert tried some Split-Pea Soup today. It's her Favourite food!
 

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 15th July 2015
 

Traveller Updates

Vytautas, son of Shinmyoumaru Sukuna and Overlord Laharl, wrote back from Ryuana Island! He has visited 7 islands so far.

Belle, daughter of Yuuka Kazami and Augustine Sycamore, wrote back from Meat Island! She has visited 2 islands so far.
 

Relationships and Marriage

Berthold Gregor and Mister Kimura are no longer Best Friends! 
 

Children

Harlan was born to Shinmyoumaru Sukuna and Overlord Laharl. It's their fifth child! He is a Confident Go-Getter.

Gertrud, daughter of Alice Margatroid and Kyubey Incubator, grew up. She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!

Pádraig was born to Patchouli Knowledge and Overlord Mao. It's their fifth child! He is an Independent Thinker.   

Blackout to the Future

... ugh ...

Whoa... hey, Kiba! You're conscious again! Heavens, I was deathly worried about you!

... groo ... Yugen? Ugh, of all the sights to see upon waking up. A cute chick would have been so much better...

Hey, don't be unappreciative. Don't you realise who had to take care of you for the past three days while you were unconscious? You're getting only one guess.

Unconscious? Three days? Wait... oh my god! I was supposed to meet my clan mates for a raid!  And we had to shell out just to get an instance of that dungeon generated for us... holy crap, they're going to kill me for this!

Well, at least your misguided priorities still seem to be very much the way they were.

Believe me this isn't one of the lamest things I've had a traveller say (and certainly wasn't thinking of having him say it from the beginning).

So... unconscious for three days? In the Bunbunmaru Updates press office? Well, I wouldn't be surprised that our lazy boss Aya Shameimaru didn't seem to notice at all...

In fact, she did, she dropped by to check a couple of days ago if we were still alive, after sending her youngest child Taiga off to the port with her husband Shou Toramaru. You should be grateful, in fact, I'd left you under the table until she forced... er, helped me to haul you out from there. 

Under the table?  Oh.... OH! That jerkface Alex who was responsible for all of this... uh, I mean... just checking, but he's really gone, isn't he?

Well, I did observe him walking back down the hill toward the port that day, in fact he didn't look back even once. And he hasn't been back since. He sure walks awfully slowly though... I wonder how he managed to sneak up on us. 

Grr... that bastard, I'll teach him a lesson for... for doing something to me and knocking me out! I can't believe it... three days? Three days of computer games that I could've been playing... and I missed a couple of anime episodes too! Don't tell me he's gone back to 'harmonising' the rest of the island in the interest of his space alien overlords!

Harmonising... well, I can't be too certain about that one, but...

  Better step up that Dominant Genes game, Overlord Mao. And yes, that's a boy... with the same face as his mom.

I dunno. Maybe it's just me, but he's definitely responsible! After all, all those weird coicidences with things falling neatly into place with each other and everyone getting along fine and dandy happened before he showed up at the office. Now that he's gone... it's started again. Suspicious, don't you think?

It could just be fortuity. And besides, all the time he was here, neither of us could have left. He was the one feeding us with information. It's entirely possible that he covered up anything too compromising so we didn't find out about it. But since he left, though, there have been some odd coincidences...if this picture of Patchouli Knowledge and her newborn... son, Patrick, mean anything...

Patrick? Wait, wasn't her earlier kid named Patricia? Wow, did she and Okuu's Look-alike just have a creativity failure right there?

But the two looked exactly alike, except one was a boy and one was a girl... speaking of which, Okuu's Look-alike has also been unusually muted recently. Given that she's probably the most disruptive thing on this island it's entirely possible she might have been silenced somehow.

Seems that Alex can do something beneficial after all... but harmonising everything is just wrong! If we didn't have difference, change, conflict in this world, it'd be so boring!

 I am a robot from the future, I am here to take American jobs.... American you say? How about a Tea Party?

Speaking of harmonising, everyone's been dressing up as Americans recently. Perhaps we've been having a spot of Coca-colonisation.

I knew it! It's those evil people from the future, when the world's controlled by a single global power, that are trying to meddle with the past to facilitate their vile, futuristic plans for the future. Because things that happen in the past affect the future, and things that happen in the future will affect us in the future!

M... maybe. Or it could just be that there were too many leftover party costumes from earlier this month, and Overlord Laharl decided to put one on to celebrate his soon-to-be fifth child.

Either way, there must be some evil afoot! And Alex and whatever horrible people from the future who sent him back to the past to meddle with our timeline are responsible for it. And why doesn't anyone else seem to realise it? If we got rid of him now, we could remove his effects on the present day and the horrible future where robot aliens rule the world could be avoided!

I... well... killing him sounds a bit extreme. And besides, we still don't have any proof that he's a robot sent from the future apart from what he said. Which may have been a rather stony joke.

Don't you remember, Yugen? He who controls the the present commands the future, he who controls the present controls the future, he who commands the future conquers the past... or something like that. We've got to stop him!

I'm pretty sure that's a misquotation... but do whatever you like. Although I recommend the first thing you do is take a shower. And change your underwear, or that unmentionable odour will be there for the phew-ture...

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 11th July 2015

  

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 12th July 2015

Children

Taiga, son of Aya Shameimaru and Shou Toramaru, grew up. He was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!

Overlord Laharl announced that his wife Shinmyoumaru Sukuna was pregnant with their fifth child!

Patrick was born to Patchouli Knowledge and Overlord Mao. It's their fifth child! He is an Outgoing Leader.

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 13th July 2015

Relatioships and Marriage

Kyubey Incubator and Suwako Moriya became Best Friends!    

Little Money

O... oh my goodness, Kiba, are you all right? He's fainted dead away!

...

Alex, what in heaven's name did you just do to him? Kiba's passed out on the floor, and...

Nothing. Merely blocking sensory input, inducing severe hallucinations, a loss of bowel control, and the disabling of higher intellectual functions.

REALLY?
 

No. Just a little joke. Ha ha ha.

It's not funny at all... he's really out cold... hey, hullo? No response.
 

I apologise for having an insufficient understanding of your ideal brand of humour.

 From left to right, Sasha, Evan, Ralph, Alex, Patricia, Regina, Nozaki, Ryuko, Tenku, and Iosif. 

Right. Well, then, why don't you just run along back to the docks and get ready to depart for your home planet, or wherever you came from? It's not like we're asking you to help us here at Bunbunmaru Updates any more, and if Aya Shameimaru doesn't get back to the office, you don't get paid. So you can go back to...

On the contrary, I was instructed to fulfil a task. I cannot rest until my duty is complete. The notion of monetary income is irrelevant.

I understand. So you see, what I'm telling you now is that you've already done everything you could for us, and it's really appreciated, really... so you can go now. In other words, goodbye and be off with you.

Incorrect. I have not yet done everything I could.

Gosh, what is it now? More news? Grumble... it's as if, without Kiba being conscious and spouting off all his mad conspiracy theories, his antagonistic behaviour is starting to infect me as well.

 So, Yves still hasn't visited a new island yet, but at least he's on his way. That's what it means when they send you a reminder.

I have become aware of a tradition held by members of your present employment of submitting a concise documentary report on an individual resident of Gensokyo Island.

Um... what, do you mean an interview? Well, no one asked you to do one, and... how did you even know about this?

The necessary information regarding the subsequent individual to be investigated, a male entitled Ramza Beoulve, has been extracted and processed and is hereby submitted for your approval.

Extracted? What the hell? Did you actually have to wring it out of him? Hey, who gave you a license to go around throttling random members of the public...

Beat Mustadio Up. Beat Mustadio Up.

... I don't even... where's the Phoenix Down?  

 Ramza Beoulve

All information correct as of 10 July 2015

 

 This Ramza is no wallflower... nor is he a good guy any more. For 'justice'.

Name: Ramza Beoulve

Nickname: Ramza

Date of Birth: 20th January 1997

Personality: Confident Brainiac
Favourite Colour: Dark Blue
Quotation: "For 'justice'."

Ramza Beoulve is the main character of the game Final Fantasy Tactics by Square (now Square Enix) for the PlayStation. Although born an aristocrat, he was originally destined for a life of mediocrity compared to his two older and more successful half-brothers. All that changed after a chance encounter following his graduation from the military academy, which set him on a path to not only quell the nation's raging civil war, but also uncover horrible truths about his family, his friends, and the nation's official religion and finally pitting him the hidden conspiracy driving it all, orchestrated by a cabal of ancient demons seeking to reawaken their dark master. Did I also mention that everything he did was also officially forgotten by history, he was condemned as a heretic, and all his real achievements were laid claim to by others who knew the truth?

I've never hesitated to assert that Final Fantasy Tactics is, in my opinion, the best computer game ever created. It has the perfect mix of an enthralling, captivating, and original story, a memorable cast of characters, a complicated yet flexible game system, challenging yet manageable difficulty, and even an AI that was surprisingly capable for its time. It was thus only right that I pick someone from this game as a representative on Gensokyo Island, and while there were several candidates perhaps it was the heroic yet hapless everyman nature of Ramza himself which made him easiest to reproduce.

As with all good intentions, however... Ramza is one of the characters on Gensokyo Island who deviates most wildly from his original incarnation. Perhaps it's due to the personality he was assigned, but he is nearly nothing like the original, who is kind, earnest, a little naïve, but ultimately heroic. Instead, the Ramza of Gensokyo Island, is sarcastic, cunning, and often spiteful as well... thankfully, if there's one thing that carried over right, he's at least still (nominally) a good guy. Unlike actual villains, he has yet to do anything bad on Gensokyo Island apart from snark at just about anyone and everyone.

Just look at his smarmy wink! Ramza's all like, heh heh, I shacked up with the most hyperactive... I mean awesome anime girl this side of Japan!

Wife: Konata Izumi

Best Friend: Mitsukuni Haninozuka

Children: Almaz Beoulve

Ramza's courtship and marriage of Konata Izumi were in themselves nothing out of the ordinary... after all, it's pretty much the modus operandi of Gensokyo Island to get random characters from Japanese games and anime paired up for hilarity. Howeve, what did make their marriage unique was that Ramza and Konata's marriage was the first in which one partner was considered an adult, while the other was a child. And no, Ramza is a good guy, he's not a pedophile like a certain perverted teacher who won't be mentioned.

This came because, while both Ramza and Konata hooked up while they were treated as children, Ramza experiencing his 18th birthday while still in the relationship, making him an adult according to the game, As a result of this, when the time came to apply Age-o-matic Spray to allow Konata, who was still considered a child, to get married, Ramza himself did not change at all physically... making him look ridiculously short compared to the aged-up Konata. Silly, isn't it? Later, Suika Ibuki and Ken Izumi ended up experiencing a very similar phenomenon as well... perhaps the Izumi name is cursed somehow.

It might be possible that their lopsided relationship might have had some effect on their compatibility, since after their marriage, Ramza and Konata were one of the couples most fond of just outright not getting along with each other, although it did not descend into actual fights. However, as a result of his vertically-challenged state, Ramza appears to have found kinship with Mitsukuni Haninozuka, after all, they have so much in common. Not only are both short (Honey, intentionally so, though Ramza ended up that way as an accident), but they're both blond and have an aristocratic background, and they're also fond of blue uniforms. Ramza might not get along that well with Konata, but his friendship with Honey has proven to be one of the firmest on the island.

He's not actually going to do it, right? He's a good guy, after all. (Not like Baldren and Maxie, who are both naturally backstabbing scum).

Food Preferences:

Worst: Hot Chocolate

Okuu's Look-alike Rating - Hot Chocolate: Love! A more detailed opinion on Hot Chocolate was already posted back on Aliasse Foerster's character introduction, but it probably bears repeating here - Hot Chocolate is great stuff! (also because there's not much else that goes in this section otherwise.)

He really isn't a villain, right? He's doing everything for justice and he's just awfully fond of his friends, isn't he?

Apartment: Apt. 407

Islander Rating: Average Tier

Ramza was introduced to Gensokyo Island at the same time as Sanae Kochiya. However, unlike her, he hasn't had as much luck with discovering foods he likes. What does make him stand out, however, is his extremely demanding nature. He's constantly insisting that he deserves all kinds of new shiny things, in particular hats of all sorts, as well as interiors, which is a request which is much more difficult to fulfil. Ultimately, I gave him the Cinema interior and I insist he stick with it - after all, it represents his rather cinematic, action-packed life which would be a perfect subject for the silver screen.

 

Ramza... well, the Gensokyo Island version of him, is one of the more forceful and assertive characters on the island. Though he gets into arguments extremely frequently, he pretty much always gets his way in disputes with other characters - it's rare to ever see him sad. Therefore, the lack of a favourite food has not held him back as much as it normally would. In fact, Ramza is such a brawler that he has actually tried every single 1/4 fullness food available in the shop - the first character to do so despite the fact that he's from the fourth batch of residents. Now, he chows down on 2/4 fullness food items as a matter of course. It's unfortunate for him that his all-time favourite is most definitely not a 1/4 fullness item, but it clearly isn't stopping him.

 

Maybe there was a mistake somewhere in the pipeline - I wanted to create a character who was generous, caring, and ultimately heroic, and instead by attempting to replicate the various aspects of his personality I ended up with someone who was on average snide, snippy, and, at least nominally, still a hero. Well, we can't have everything in this world. Perhaps the Ramza of Gensokyo Island knows how his story ended, explaining his becoming increasingly dispassionate to just about everything - you would too, if almost all your friends are dead, you were forgotten by history and all your achievements were stolen by the person who framed you for everything bad that ever happened... At the same time, though, he's still fighting for what he believes is right, and like a real hero, he will not let any circumstances sway him from his path.

 

Oh yes, he's a Capricorn. So, how compatible are you?

 

 It's the closest to an actual squire uniform you can get from the selection of clothes. And his 'idiot hair'... not so idiotic after all.

 

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 9th July 2015

 

 

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 10th July 2015

 

Traveller Updates

Yves, son of Tia Arlert and Tadakichi Mihama, wrote back from Streetpass Relay Point Island. He has visited 6 islands so far! 

Doom-o Arigato

I said I would be back.

So... you came back, Alex... it's almost as if you've never left.

Neither have you.

Well, yeah! We were trying to stay the heck as far away from y... I mean... yet more work! We barely get paid anything for our labour as it is!

Do you not have a duty to uphold?

Huh? What do you mean...

Do you not have a duty to uphold?

Duty... the hell, mate, you're scaring us more and more with every passing day!

 Duty, you say? N... no way! Also, that's the best hat Reisen could possibly have while melting into a puddle.

Regardless, I will overlook your transgressions this once.

Psst... Kiba... he's kinda right. We've locked ourselves in the office for the past week, or longer, even though we're suppoed to be intrepid junior reporters of a sort...

But with that... that thing around...! And besides, it's not like our boss Aya Shameimaru even showed up to yell at us to get back to work. We're doing what's best in our current situation!

Concerning the individual known as Shameimaru, I have silenced her...

Wait, wha... WHAAA???!!!!

... by presenting her with the results of investigative journalism to which both of you have failed to contribute.

Oh... for a moment I thought you bloody killed her!

Hey, if Mister Roboto here can do it, it sure would save us a lot of trouble...

  Hmmm... I'm running out of witty things to say, but there are certainly plenty of platitudes I haven't tried yet! Also, that kid... *shudder*

The name is Alex.

Um... Kiba, in case you didn't realise it, there's a laser point on the wall right above your head.

What the... *gulp*.

Today, the offspring demarcated "Kiyomasa" and "Sadie" were equipped, bestowed with an article of communication, and debarked on the global exploration operation. A new product, entitled "Gertrud" was manufactured in the Margatroid residence. Owing to the presence of disfiguring alien DNA, emergency cosmetic surgery was performed before photographic evidence was acquired. 

I... see. That sure is pretty neat, Alex... thanks for collecting that data for us...

Yeah man, Alex, you're like totally the best... um, you can put that guided missile launcher down now...

In addition, I have collated the data acquired by an individual who has travelled beyond the bounds of Gensokyo Island.

  Aren't I glad I didn't name anyone on this island Reuben. Otherwise they'd have a bit of an awkward moment with autocannibalism.

Belle, gender female, today transmitted information regarding a foreign land designated Smiley Island under the authority of an individual entitled Gen's Lookalike. Material evidence provided include heated comestible known as Reuben,  description not located in databanks.

Not located in... wait, didn't you say you were from the future? If this thing happened in the past, then you people from the future would have known about it, right? So why isn't it in your knowledge?

Does not compute.

What?

No way, is he going to explode any minute now? Not while he's stuck in this room with us!

Nothing. Merely an article of humour. Ha ha ha. 

I'm really not convinced by the tone of that, somehow. But anyway, thanks, Alex, for giving us this information. Whatever in heaven's name you are supposed to be.

The name is Alex.

More like Alex-plain late. Or never, by the looks of it!

The name is Alex.

Yes, we heard you the first time already! Stop repeating that... hmm, interesting, since when was there ever a little red dot right over my belly button? Waitaminute...  

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 6th July 2015

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 7th July 2015

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 8th July 2015

Traveller Updates

Belle returned from Smiley Island to visit her parents Yuuka Kazami and Augustine Sycamore! She has visited 2 islands so far.

Children

Kiyomasa, son of Chiyo Mihama and Shikieiki Yamaxanadu, grew up. He was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller! 

Gertrud was born to Alice Margatroid and Kyubey Incubator. It's their sixth child! She is an Easygoing Buddy.

Sadie, daughter of Yuuka Kazami and Augustine Sycamore, grew up. She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!

Gensokyo Gourmands

Reisen Udongein Inaba tried some Split-Pea Soup today. She thought it was the Worst Ever! 

In Dependence Stay

So... is he gone yet?

Why don't you get up from your desk and go take a look?

But... what kind of nerd would I be if I actually had to step away from my computer? Come on, there's no way I can win the ladies without some really solid geek cred. No, really, just tell me if he's gone, because I'm just too terrified to check...

Ladies, you say... oh, all right, allow me to... GOOD LORD! He's right at that window over there, watching you!

Wait, whaaaat?! No way! I didn't even see... ARGH!!!

*crash*

That's what you get for not being independent enough to check for yourself, you lazy lout.

How about a little financial aid from the Marshall, er, the Miko Plan? The only thing you need to give up - your religious freedom.

You jerk, Yugen, making a fib like that. Damn... I don't think these swivel chairs are supposed to spin that fast, let's just hope that Aya Shameimaru doesn't string us up and make us pay for a replacement.

Us? What do you mean by 'us'?  After all, aren't you the one who refused to get up from the chair in the first place? And besides, I wouldn't have problems paying for a replacement for something I broke, while you on the other hand would probably have to pass the hat around.

Wow. So you're going to make fun of me for being poor, are you, you self-entitled stuck-up wannabe aristocrat?

Well, having money of your own helps you be independent of handouts. You don't want to leech off someone else for the rest of your life like the NEET you are, do you, Kiba?

 

Implying that you're any better. You're just using your parents' money to act posh without actually doing any work of your own. How's that supposed to be called independence?

I... well, as travellers, we're all independent in our own way. That much cannot be denied. Otherwise we'd never have got this far.

 I'll bet there are some articles of clothing so horribly ugly that the free market, i.e. other players would never choose them as their export item.

Can't evade the truth that you spend every other day gazing out to sea, hoping that some remittance from your parents arrives so you can splurge on luxuries once again, huh? Yup, that sounds like an individual who's managed to strike it out on their own indeed, ahem.

You're mocking me. Why else am I here with you, actually doing some labour for my pay, instead of skipping out on work like Alex does? Three reasons, the first being that I have personal pride in earning what I spend. The second being that I'm not some kind of robot assassin from the future and I actually require sustenance. The third being that my parents haven't sent... well. So in essence there's just one very important reason.

Well. If anything I'm glad the humility of working here in the bloody trenches like the rest of us plebs has taken you down a notch or two. Isn't that the dream of every traveller? To become a self-made person, someone with their own individuality, identity, and assets.

That's absolutely true. That's why we bother to strive in the first place. That's why we force ourselves through waves of bloody mist in order to claim our next accomplishment. It's because of our dreams.

 

Of course., it would be so much easier if we could just find a pile of wealth and good fortune somewhere and solve all our problems without doing any work at all... sigh...

 Diamond is Unbreakable, you say. "Touch the untouchable, break the unbreakable!"

Such frivolous thoughts. Of course, we cannot count on the winds of fate for good fortune to simply drop into our hands. We have to strive, we have to fight for what we desire. That's the only way for a traveller to realise their dreams.

You're right. I can't believe how much I've fighting everyday to realise my dreams too. Fighting sleep, boredom, the urge to vomit on hearing all these platitudes about success and dreams. 

So you're saying you'd never bother to fight for what you want? That probably explains why you're still an unemployed, lonely internet addict for all this long.

Ahem, excuse me? I just think it's more important that we focus not on the process, but the destination. Why fight at all, if you don't know where you want to end up? If you don't know what you want to achieve? What do you want to achieve, huh, rich boy?

I... well... I guess I want to be an impressive specimen of a traveller, to make my parents and my home island proud, I suppose.

Yup, that's you. And what I want is an easy life, full of slacking and contentment. That's why I'm working hard to ensure that I'm always in a situation where I have to work as little as possible.

You... realise the oxymoron in that, do you not?

It's not a contradiction. It's just logical. Working to ensure I don't have to work.

I suppose I can't argue with that. So what are the dreams and ambitions of the idle lot of residents living here on Gensokyo Island, anyway?

  My dream is... to use babies as improvised biological weapons to rid the rest of the world of babies. To put it bluntly...

Do cattle have dreams, Yugen? Do androids dream of electric sheep? It's hard to say whether they do anything other than live out their lives in happiness... I mean, constant fighting, demands, and attempts to induce apocalyptic rage.

Indeed, all our discussion seems moot when we compare it to the blissful idleness of the denizens of this island, who have their every need met, their every dispute resolved... (except when they don't, of course)... while we have to struggle and fight for our survival.

Sad, but true. That's our life. Say, can you see it? We travellers are an immigrant people, we don't simply live, but carve out our own destinies with our own hands. Whatever that destiny may be. I bet even that stone-faced alien robot assassin has to deal with that, doing his darndest to mould a future free from infestation by eldritch tentacle beings. Heh heh...

AHEM.

Wait, who? WHAAA...!!!

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 3rd July 2015

Children

Overlord Mao announced that his wife Patchouli Knowledge was pregnant with their fourth child!

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 4th July 2015

Traveller Updates

A boat from Windia Island arrived. Fantine departed.

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 5th July 2015