Hmm, let's see... I'm now 48 hours in the future! And we started this time travel training... 48 hours ago. This is a pretty huge letdown. What do you mean we're recording now? But I'm tired...
Cough... ahem. Sorry about that. It's Toritori here, and I apologise for being out of the loop for quite some time thanks to a certain questionable training regimen that my boss Aya Shameimaru tried to put me though. All for catching the target of today's interview, she said, but it turned out to not be necessary after all. And if someone is travelling through time at one second per second, it's completely unitless, isn't it?
Miss Shameimaru, can you imagine what people must have been thinking seeing me dashing madcap around the island while you hitting me with that feather fan? You didn't make me run around just so you could have someone to hit, did you? What do you suppose those guys on the boat which pulled up at the port today from Sayasaya Island would have been thinking about that?
Sayasaya no schooner departs with Kenji, who should really have been called Kenichi but I had a brain lapse.
No, the appearance of a new passenger boat is not proof of having "successfully accomplished time travel", whatever your archives might say about what Okuu's Look-alike had once done. And pretty much nothing you can say can make me believe the rumours that she's about to pull it off again in response to the overcrowding at the docks. It's not like the boat which took Kenji, son and only child of Youmu Konpaku and Drake Kitazawa, was some kind of futuristic autonomous device manned by robots or something. Oh, actually it was, but that still doesn't prove anything about time travel!
And now you're telling me that children having grown up on Gensokyo Island is proof of time travel? But children grow up all the time, don't they? And how is the fact that they grow up so fast some kind of proof that we're in the future? Next thing you're going to tell me that you're really over 1000 years old just like Miko Toyosatomimi. No, having a long nose and the ability to run really fast while wearing silly shoes doesn't prove that you're a 1000-year-old Japanese tree goblin or something.
Second-generation islanders get to work populating Gensokyo Island with more firecrackers, a literal population explosion by baby boomers.
Unyuho Morichika and Berthold Gregor packed their daughter Gloriana off to become a traveller today despite her being their first child. It's quite remarkable (by how galling it is) that Okuu's Look-alike decided to boot her look-alike's first grandchild off the island like this, but I feel that the islanders are already pretty acquainted to Okuu's Look-alike's heartless, callous ways. I most definitely felt those remarks about having a "funny shrunken face" and "the inevitable result of breeding realistic characters with cartoony ones" were rather uncalled for.
In the meantime, Tia Arlert and Tadakichi Mihama decided to give the child-rearing game another shot after the departure of their first child, their son Yves. However, I don't think they have much of a chance, as Okuu's Look-alike was heard snarking about how it's "probably gonna be another Designer" and whether they should call their kid "something like Louis or Salvatore... hmm... actually someone called Salvatore with an interesting personality might be a good idea...". Oh, so it seems hope isn't lost for the pair after all!
This entire island seems to treat kids like their chew toys, and I can't say I'm exactly thrilled with that, being a kid myself! I mean, making me run around the island like that, it isn't April Fools' Day yet, you know! Next thing she'll be asking me to catch the wild haggis or something. Everyone knows they only live in Scotland, not on some island out here!
Yes. And SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!
It's a good thing there's one kid out there on this island who won't put up with all this nonsense that adults throw down on them, and it just so happens that she's the subject of today's special report. Sure, she's usually playful and loopy most of the time, but behind that smile lies a dark past, and once she gets serious not even tanks or a whole platoon of robotic soldiers can stand in her way. Please meet Gensokyo Island's resident pure-blooded Valkyria, Aliasse Foerster!
Aliasse Foerster
All information correct as of 25 February 2015
Aliasse (all the way at the back, with the blue hair and silly hat) chilling with her Touhou Project chums from the third floor.
Name: Aliasse Foerster
Nickname: Aliasse (haha, such wit.)
Date of Birth: 31st August 2003
Personality: Outgoing Trendsetter
Favourite Colour: Light Blue
Quotation: "Here I come!!!"
Aliasse is a supporting character from the PSP game Valkyria Chronicles II by SEGA. She is a young girl who was discovered to have the eponymous superhuman Valkyria powers at a young age, and used as a test subject and living weapon by an unscrupulous researcher named Clementia Foerster, whom Aliasse regarded as a mother figure. Initially hostile and unsocialised, after meeting the main cast on the grounds of Lanseal Military Academy, Aliasse slowly learned the meaning of friendship and love (and how her 'mother' lacked any of these things) and eventually joined the team to fight against the villainy of bad guys like Baldren Gassenarl and his cronies.
Apart from her superhuman Valkyria powers, which grant her an extraordinary rate of healing and the ability to use ancient superweapons (in cutscenes only, haha), she's also a crack shot with a rifle despite her age, probably due to her powers and her training as a living weapon. However, outside the battlefield she's a lively, playful girl, albeit one with somewhat liberal attitudes towards the regulation school uniform, who's also an aspiring garderner and always looks out for and seeks to protect her friends. However, her overarching attribute is her cheerfulness, which she exhibits just about everywhere, in everyday life or on the battlefield.
Yes, at times this makes her come off as a creepy, psychologically broken, wildly savage child soldier, and that was probably the intention. However, I personally believe she redeems herself by being genuinely good at heart (and that 'creepy child soldier' accusation could be levelled at plenty of the Valkyria series' cast, anyway). She's just so complex, and yet so loveable, and she's really vulnerable despite having a story-only superpowered side, that she's probably one of my top five favourite characters in the entire Valkyria Chronicles series as a whole.
That's why she's here on Gensokyo Island, together with that nutter Baldren. I know she's also a non-canon playable character in Valkyria Chronicles III like Baldren, but unlike him, I felt that her appearance (both in the sense of showing up as a bonus character, and her looks) didn't contribute anything to her characterisation. It's telling that the Aliasse that we see here on Gensokyo Island is a genuinely friendly person though she's permanently hyper on Hot Chocolate, and bears only good intentions despite most likely being not entirely mentally stable.
Aliasse's smile is positively radiant - coupled with those psycho staring eyes, her looks could kill!
Husband: Minamitsu Murasa
Best Friend: Aya Shameimaru
Children: Drake, Mitsuko, Chester
You ain't seen nothin' till you've met a couple comprising a happy-go-lucky superhuman child soldier with blue hair and a vengeful ghost sea captain who sinks ships and preaches Buddhism. It's also interesting how Aliasse and Minamitsu Murasa have the exact opposite personality (Outgoing Trendsetter and Independent Thinker). So theoretically, according to Tomodachi Life's RNG which determines that people with opposite personalities have the lowest chance of getting together, and the highest chance of lowering their relationships... they are dead in the water.
Well, Aliasse and Murasa (and I!) would like to give you a big fat screw you. Sure, their relationship has had its rocky moments but it shall not founder on the stony reefs of fate as long as I'm keeping a lookout. And three happy, relatively normal children can attest to that. I feel that they have a similar dynamic to the pairing of Marisa Kirisame and Miko Toyosatomimi.- the wife is crazy, zany, probably unstable, but brings joy and life to the family, while the husband is a lighthouse of stability that keeps things level-headed while giving room for the significant other to express herself. And is also actually a girl.
As for Aliasse and Aya Shameimaru, well, it should be pretty obvious. They're both nutty, off their rocker, and enjoy zipping everywhere at high speed screaming their catchphrase wildly. You know that little airplane game Miis like to play in each others' apartments? Imagine that same thing, except ten times faster and ten times louder, too.
Aliasse listens, wild-eyed, at a traveller's strange and crazy stories. It's just her kind of thing, too!
Food Preferences:
All-Time Favourite: Hot Chocolate
Worst: Tap Water
Okuu's Look-alike Rating - Hot Chocolate: Love! Tell me, which nutcase would turn down a (preferably free) steaming cup of lovely cocoa? Well, someone on a diet, I guess, but you'd have to be nutty to be on a diet with so much lovely food in this world. And maybe someone with lactose intolerance. That can't be helped, I suppose. But it's like Chocolate! Except you drink it! Swoon!!!
Song Participation:
Gotta Slay 'em All, Rap, backup dancer for The Recon Corps
Just as Overlord Laharl and Overlord Mao are paired together in their dance, so too are Aliasse Foerster and Recette Lemongrass, two innocent but cheeky young girls with a permanently sunny disposition. I'd bet Aliasse would make a pretty good titan slayer too, given her training with weapons and natural dexterity, though no one in Attack on Titan ever kills a titan while wearing a smile on their face. Yeah, it's that kind of show.
Aliasse lays the smackdown on Reimu Hakurei where it hurts - the belt line. But Reimu's riposte is up to scratch. What's ZUN doing on that side?
Apartment: Apt. 305
Islander Rating: High Tier
It probably doesn't merit repeating, but somehow all the islanders from the third batch (that is, the third floor) I've reviewed so far all have very similar levels despite having different factors which could positively or negatively influence their probable ranking. In Aliasse's case, she has similarities to Overlord Mao in that she has a known All-Time Favourite food, but she just doesn't demand very much at all, and so it balances out with the other islanders who don't yet have a known favourite food but are extremely demanding in exchange.
I guess I'm happy that these islanders have very similar levels, since they've been on the island for the same amount of time, although higher levels are better, of course, and I don't hold any biases against those in the earlier batches who stand out above their peers. Tall poppy syndrome on Gensokyo Island is a big no-no... because inequality is the norm here as in life, right?
Aliasse demands relatively little among islanders, but that doesn't mean she's an invisible wallflower who blends into the background - not at all! In fact, she can be found wandering pretty much everywhere, as well as barrelling into other people's apartments and homes, or spending quality time with her honey Minamitsu Murasa. It's like she's rarely ever at home unless she has a whole posse of her friends with her. Y'know, that might be why the attention flag is rarely ever lit over her apartment - she's just too busy enjoying her freedom and the company of her friends.
Aliasse is a person who's wild at heart and erratic in her actions, while valuing making and nurturing friendships above all else. Even though she was trained as a child soldier and a remorseless killer, she's overcome her dark past and relishes her newfound freedom to discover herself and be what she really wants to be. And yet, the gunpowder of wilful childlike craziness remains within her, ready to be ignited by the prospect of fun... or Hot Chocolate.
If your island needs someone who's a balance between being good-natured and exuberant, add Aliasse Foerster to your roster today. Just give her a good rifle, a command point, and her daily Hot Chocolate, and watch the fireworks show as she captures the flags of her fellow islanders.
Nothing in the shop really matches Aliasse's 'creative' school uniform from the game, so I made do with a comfy shirt. And just a shirt.
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 25th February 2015
Traveller Updates
A boat arrived from Sayasaya Island. Kenji departed.
Children
Gloriana, daughter of Unyuho Morichika and Berthold Gregor, grew up. She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!
Tia Arlert announced that she was pregnant with her and Tadakichi Mihama's second child!
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