A Short Reprieve

...

'ey. Ain't that... OI! Rich boy!

... heh... It's a rather odd sensation, but this is one time when I wouldn't object to having someone yell at me.

Yeah? Wel,, 'urry on back an' tell 'at tosser Okuu's Look-alike to bloody get on wit' it already. It ain't like we've got all day down 'ere y'know?

Well, Rebecca, the truth is that, actually we do. Okuu's Look-alike has been running about Gensokyo Island the whole day today after the residents suddenly sprung into a flurry of activity. She hasn't had any time to consort with the local mad scientists regarding reactivating the time-space anomaly, indeed, the whole thing's been temporarily called off for now.

Wot? Y' don't say? Right after I wrote that letter to our so-called former boss Aya Shameimaru sayin' she was a rotten journalist and a flippin' exploiter of child labour to boot. I'm 'opin' she didn't send you down 'ere just to get some more scoop about me!

No, it's nothing like that at all. I came here on my own initiative, just to share a bit of the latest news about what we've found out with you. Besides, you must be famished out here now that you can't avail yourself of the pantry back at the office. Fancy a bit of dessert?

Yikes! I'd eat it if it wasn't for the eyes... and also that I need Soft-Serve Ice Cream in my collection.

Um.... nah, I'm good over 'ere. Don't worry yer silly little 'ead on my behalf. (Besides... ick. What the 'eck even is that?!)

Ah, all right then. But you may have noticed that another mail ship pulled up at the docks recently, did you not? It seems that they've delivered some news which has sent the residents of Gensokyo Island into a little tizzy of celebration, explaining the sudden flurry of activity in these parts.

Mail ship? No, I don't recall anything. Per'aps I was distracted wit' layin' out my duffle here while waitin' for the arrival of my ride.

Perhaps, yes. But it turns out yet another of the travellers sent out during that infamous Massacre Monday, as well as the one most recently activated over the weekend, have found their way to shore and have reached a safe camping spot, at least for the moment. It turns out that the places, or should we say times that the time-space anomaly has been linking to have not been found to be all that distant after all, if travellers sent there are able to communicate so easily.

Well, I can't say I can tell if I've exactly been pulled through time myself. But when I see that other girl Layla, and the number of wrinkles and age spots she's got, I get just a li'l worried. 

I suppose you are right. But it seems that the chance of travellers being annihilated - outgoing ones from Gensokyo Island, at least - now stands at 50% or better. As for those incoming, however, their continued presence on this mortal coil cannot be guaranteed.

That's the tallest monkey I've ever seen, Chiyoko... oh, not referring to that photo. And is that Nintendo's Bill Trinen having a stab at Hibachi?

So, according to these reports, Chiyoko, the daughter of Chiyo Mihama and Shikieiki Yamaxanadu (and whose name is horribly mispronounced for some reason), who was sent off during the tragic events of Massacre Monday, has not only managed to survive her initial landing but has already found her way to the third island of her travels. Meanwhile, Hibachi, the youngest son of Kyouko Kasodani and Wriggle Nightbug, who was hastily cast into the time portal last weekend, has also managed to survive and reach his first island. Where a Nintendo staff member lives, apparently.

That's well and good, Yugen, and so what does 'at say for my survival? That th' odds aren't really all that bad? 

Well... if what I overheard from Okuu's Look-alike is true, she's of the mentality that you managed to get here somehow, so you can probably go back with no problem at all. Not the most reassuring, that's for certain, but that's all I know.

Nnn.... haha, so much for those promises of castin' me back into the mists of time. Bloody politicians, never should've expected 'em to keep a promise. And what's the bloody tosspot doin' at this moment in time?

Hmm, if I recall correctly, she was busy entertaining a couple of babies who've been born recently. Or would it be more accurate to say, entertaining their parents and hoping that they'd send a Travel Ticket or two her way. How utilitarian, and yet more likely than not ultimately futile.

Specimen 1: A typical case of Out-of-Body Syndrome. Specimen 2: A typical case of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

It seems like Gensokyo Island's residents clearly have their children's future careers in mind when they named them - by which I mean giving them a weird and interesting name so that owners of other islanders will get a little chuckle out of meeting them. Gary Oak and his wife Evil Spirit Mima clearly had Pokémon on the brain, while Suika Ibuki simply had copious amounts of vodka (and it's pretty much universally agreed that what's in Ken Izumi's head can't really pass for a brain).

But wait... I thought th' whole purpose of this timey-wimey chicanery was 'cause explorers and babies were 'avin some kinda effect on th' island. And now th' assembly line's back on at the baby factory?

Who knows... I bet even Okuu's Look-alike doesn't understand it. Much less when she went around later looking at the pregnancy test results several other islanders had handed her. There's a lot that we still can't explain with sufficient accuracy, but if Okuu's Look-alike wants to keep the baby factory going, it'll keep rolling. 

I'm in despair... for science! And sadism! I'm not one to let something prissy like Malthusian economics bother my islanders.

Overlord Mao and Yuuka Kazami were considering their fourth and fifth child respectively, while Nozomu Itoshiki and his wife Reisen Udongein Inaba finally clocked in for duty by announcing their plans for their first child. I wonder, how many children is that already on Gensokyo Island? More than enough to drive anyone to despair... or possibly genocide. What a torrid tale!

Ya don't say. 'avin' to live out 'ere once again, under the scorchin' sun and relentless rain, surrounded by th' stench of rotting fish and sh@#$%&*te, and sharin' these stinking public toilets with all these other layabouts... treasure your life in that Bunbunbun... whatever newspaper office, Yugen, 'cause it bloody sucks out 'ere. Maybe it's so bad that it makes you feel so glad to leave, and it dulls your senses so y' don't feel it when yer life is suddenly ripped from yer body. 

That sounds... uncannily sensible somehow. It's like someone had this all planned out from the beginning. And, well, if there's anything I can do to help at this moment, Rebecca... 

Y' ain't proposition' me, are ya?

N.... no, of course not. I meant, I'm just trying to be a gentleman here and help a lady out. if there's something I can get you...

Y' can probably get yourself gone at this rate. There's nothing more y' can do for me. Like I said,  whatever 'appens, 'appens. If I live, I get to see a new place. And if I die, I get t' go home at last.

W... what kind of logic is that? I mean, you can't... you don't just...

Shut up, you, and don't worry your little 'ead about it. I'll be fine, whatever 'appens. I promise. A lady's promise. Now be off with you!

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 21st May 2015

Children

Tamako, daughter of Kyouko Kasodani and Wriggle Nightbug, grew up. She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 22nd May 2015

Traveller Updates

Chiyoko, daughter of Chiyo Mihama and Shikieiki Yamaxanadu, wrote back from Odessia Island! She has visited 3 islands so far.

Hibachi, son of Kyouko Kasodani and Wriggle Nightbug, wrote back from Dokoro Island! He has visited 1 island so far.

Children

Fantine was born to Evil Spirit Mima and Gary Oak. It's their second child! She is an Outgoing Trendsetter.

Iosif was born to Suika Ibuki and Ken Izumi. It's their first child! He is an Independent Artist.

Overlord Mao announced that his wife Patchouli Knowledge was pregnant with their fourth child!

Nozomu Itoshiki announced that his wife Reisen Udongein Inaba was pregnant with their first child!

Yuuka Kazami announced that she was pregnant with Augustine Sycamore's fifth child! 

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 23rd May 2015