What? I sound unusually cheerful? Well, Kiba, clearly you don't understand the intricacies of a girl's heart. What I say sounds different from what I write, what I feel is different from what I express, when I say "yeah" I really mean "no way", and when I say "nah..." I actually mean "I really really want it so bad"... uh, just forget that last one, m'kay?
Yeah, I'm scared, I'm bloody terrified, I am, but put it this way. That's only come about because I knew of the risks I was facing. If, like those poor travellers who've been reduced to a cloud of blood droplets, I encountered death without expecting it, I wouldn't have felt a shard of fear in my body. If I had been annihilated in an instant without knowing it, I wouldn't have felt the slightest bit of pain.
It makes sense, doesn't it? From where I grew up, it's just common sense. That's how I'm coping with my fear, by knowing that however much I worry won't change my ultimate fate. Now on with my final report.
What a tall story.
Adding another one to the list of fantastic stories which have yet to find their way into the news archives is the astounding revelation of Miko Toyosatomimi's new attempt to garner faith and admiration from her fellow Gensokyo Island residents by imbibing a secret serum to lengthen her legs to titanic proportions.
After being confronted by Armin Arlert and Shinmyoumaru Sukuna, Gensokyo Island's resident titan slayers, she was forced to reveal that it was obviously just a sham. It's surprising how everyone took so long to pick up that she was merely just wearing the world's stonking tallest pair of platform shoes. But wasn't it obvious all along? It's not like that part of her got any longer or anything.
What part? You remember she's supposed to be a Prince, right? Come on, isn't it just common sense?
Her what? If it wasn't for the colour-draining effect, you'd get the impression that they're both horrified. In their own way.
Ack, all right! Speaking of a Miko, now with that imitation out of the way, let's move on to today's real news story, and that the party that was thrown today for Gensokyo Island's resident youkai buster and main character, the sexy and alluring shrine maiden...
Sanae Kochiya, of course. Surely you can't be thinking of that lazy and impoverished armpit shrine maiden in the red and white. Plus, whenever one considers attractive female characters one always first thinks about their... designs, of course. I mean, Sanae has that cute frog and snake hair accessories, and that paddle, and that polka-dot dress. And of course bigger knockers than that other one, so that obviously makes her better...
What do you mean Reimu Hakurei is collecting bomb pieces even as I speak? Ah, it wouldn't do me much good to get myself killed even before having the opportunity to get vaporised by the time-space distortion, so I should stop stating the facts and get back to fibbing and taking the piss.
Why is today Sanae's birthday, anyway? Who knows? And why does Maxie show up at just about everyone's birthday party?
I'm not the kind of person who's normally generous with compliments so no doubt there must be a reason why I've got so many good words for Sanae, and that's all because I was invited to her birthday party for a slice of cake and a spot of booze... uh, I meant tea. In exchange for writing up a very special and totally unbiased report about how great she is, of course.
I heard that Gensokyo Island has a practice of writing flattering articles about each of its residents in turn, and naturally I was a little miffed at not being able to partake of this tradition before leaving despite having worked as a junior reporter. So, I took it upon myself, as a little surprise, to provide the next iteration in the series, featuring the new and improved shrine maiden of Gensokyo Island, the worker of miracles, Sanae Kochiya! It's just common sense!
I... is that a giant Yin-Yang ball heading straight for me? D... dang it. Where's a titan football player when you really need one?
Sanae Kochiya
All information correct as of 20 May 2015
All right, impostor shrine maiden, it's just between you and me. Neko Miko Reimu vs Queen of Hearts, Sanae!
Name: Sanae Kochiya
Nickname: Sanae
Date of Birth: 20th May 1996
Personality: Confident Adventurer
Favourite Colour: Dark Blue
Favourite Colour: Dark Blue
Quotation: "Go Moriya Shrine"
Sanae Kochiya is a main character and a former antagonist from the Touhou Project series by Team Shanghai Alice. She first appeared in the tenth game, Mountain of Faith, as the Stage 5 Boss character, and returned in the following game Subterranean Animism as the Extra Stage Mid-Boss character. Following that, she appeared as a playable character in all but one subsequent main series game, including the upcoming fifteenth game Legacy of Lunatic Kingdom, as well as a playable character and possible opponent in the fighting game Touhou Hisoutensoku.
Sanae was originally a girl working as a shrine maiden at the Moriya Shrine in the outside world, who was transported along with the rest of the shrine when its resident goddess Kanako Yasaka decided to move to Gensokyo to collect faith from youkai rather than humans who no longer believed in gods. As a result, she's often characterised in a manner similar to a typical Japanese schoolgirl, being somewhat ditzy and airheaded, but also bearing an interest in pop culture and technology.
However, Sanae is no ordinary girl, because she is actually a distant descendant of her shrine's other goddess and former owner Suwako Moriya, and as a result she has the power to work miracles as a "living god" that is part god and part human. What these miracles actually are exactly is difficult to explain, but as with most Gensokyo residents any powers usually translate to shooting danmaku and blowing up one's opponents in a typhoon of pretty colours. Sanae is extremely devoted to Kanako and Suwako, her shrine's resident goddesses, and will stop at nothing to carry out their orders to gather faith for the Moriya Shrine, including exterminating hostile youkai in brutal and unrelenting ways.
Here on Gensokyo Island, it's obviously impossible to translate Sanae's canonical relationships with Kanako and Suwako into actual in-game relationships, beyond merely being friends. While they do have their share of disagreements, it's telling that Sanae tends to get along pretty well with both of them at the very least. I can't explain why they weren't at Sanae's birthday party, though, maybe they were too busy fighting each other to bother to turn up.
Sanae Kochiya is a main character and a former antagonist from the Touhou Project series by Team Shanghai Alice. She first appeared in the tenth game, Mountain of Faith, as the Stage 5 Boss character, and returned in the following game Subterranean Animism as the Extra Stage Mid-Boss character. Following that, she appeared as a playable character in all but one subsequent main series game, including the upcoming fifteenth game Legacy of Lunatic Kingdom, as well as a playable character and possible opponent in the fighting game Touhou Hisoutensoku.
Sanae was originally a girl working as a shrine maiden at the Moriya Shrine in the outside world, who was transported along with the rest of the shrine when its resident goddess Kanako Yasaka decided to move to Gensokyo to collect faith from youkai rather than humans who no longer believed in gods. As a result, she's often characterised in a manner similar to a typical Japanese schoolgirl, being somewhat ditzy and airheaded, but also bearing an interest in pop culture and technology.
However, Sanae is no ordinary girl, because she is actually a distant descendant of her shrine's other goddess and former owner Suwako Moriya, and as a result she has the power to work miracles as a "living god" that is part god and part human. What these miracles actually are exactly is difficult to explain, but as with most Gensokyo residents any powers usually translate to shooting danmaku and blowing up one's opponents in a typhoon of pretty colours. Sanae is extremely devoted to Kanako and Suwako, her shrine's resident goddesses, and will stop at nothing to carry out their orders to gather faith for the Moriya Shrine, including exterminating hostile youkai in brutal and unrelenting ways.
Here on Gensokyo Island, it's obviously impossible to translate Sanae's canonical relationships with Kanako and Suwako into actual in-game relationships, beyond merely being friends. While they do have their share of disagreements, it's telling that Sanae tends to get along pretty well with both of them at the very least. I can't explain why they weren't at Sanae's birthday party, though, maybe they were too busy fighting each other to bother to turn up.
Baldren might be a nasty piece of work, but his wife Sanae and eldest daughter Hinoko are on a whole other level of crazy.
Husband: Baldren Gassenarl
Best Friend: Tadakichi Mihama
Children: Adwin, Hinoko Gassenarl, Kyrie, Tristan
The psychotic, genocidial Baldren Gassenarl and the psychotic, genocidial Sanae Kochiya might seem like an odd couple, but... oh, who am I kidding. They are perfect for each other! So perfect, in fact, that they are the first married couple on the island of whom both husband and wife are of the same personality group.
While much has been said about Baldren and Sanae's whirlwind romance and courtship in Baldren's character introduction, perhaps a little should be said here about the nature of their decidedly twisted offspring. Their second child and eldest daughter, Hinoko Gassenarl, was invited to become a resident of Gensokyo Island, while their other children Adwin, Kyrie, and Tristan became travellers. So this naturally begs the question - why pick the original character Hinoko to stay? And why's her name a little different from the rest? There's another convoluted story behind that one.
Adwin, Baldren and Sanae's first child, is the only one that's named after an actual character from a game's lore - it's the name of Baldren's pet dog. I originally didn't think much of him, as he had the personality of an Easygoing Optimist, which I thought was unusually milquetoast. And then, when it came to the time to decide whether he should stay or leave, I realised I actually liked how he turned out, a model of his dad but with his mom's eyes and nose making his look not so creepy. But I already had the slot for an Easygoing Optimist on the island filled at the time - occupied by Mitsukuni Haninozuka, so I felt I had no choice but to send him off... or so I thought.
A little too late did I realise that since Honey was new and had no relationships at the time, it was fair game for me to delete him and replace his slot with Adwin, and then add Honey again later. But it was too late, once the "Move Out" button has been selected, it can't be taken back... and so Adwin goes down in history as probably the only traveller I wish I could have kept as a resident (another possibly being Reimu Hakurei and Junya Ohta's first child Reiko). As a sort of compensation to the bereaved parents, I decided to let their second child stay regardless of her qualities and attributes, and thus we have Hinoko the Japanophile otaku on Gensokyo Island today.
Hinoko simply refers to her fondness for all things Japan, since it's the Land of the Rising Sun, and a Japanese name would fit her best. Kyrie obviously refers to Baldren's favourite obsession, the eponymous Valkyria of Valkyria Chronicles, while Tristan means "sadness", which is an appropriate name for a town that's been destroyed several times over... no, wait, that's Tristram. But it's almost the same thing. It's how I felt about Adwin being lost to the waves forever.
Adwin in the spiky hair, Hinoko in the dress, and the lower two are Kyrie and Tristan. Astonishingly appropriate appearances, they have.
Food Preferences:
Favourite: Frozen Treat
Worst: Fried Egg
Worst Ever: Flan
Okuu's Look-alike Rating - Flan: Really Like! Really, how can Sanae hate the wibbly wobbly pudding that much? Yeah, it can be sickly sweet or flat and bland when it's done badly, which is why I don't rank it higher myself, but it's a great treat every once in a while. When it's well done, you can actually taste the difference in composition and texture between the orange and brown bits of it!
Maybe Sanae just has some really bad memories of Flandre Scarlet or something.
Gary Oak tells a dirty joke about Sanae and Suwako Moriya, while Kanako Yasaka cuts to the chase and tells a dirty joke to Sanae.
Apartment: Apt. 406
Islander Rating: Average Tier
Despite what Gary Oak claims above (that scheming bastard), Sanae and Suwako are not actually neighbours at Mii Apartments, nor is she a neighbour to Kanako. Although the ideas to introduce all three of them were conceived together, Sanae was added to the island first, along with her neighbour Ramza Beoulve, in order to balance out the personalities and gender ratio and to give some time to come up with ideas for characters to introduce alongside Kanako and Suwako. As such, she's actually a member of the more senior fourth tier of islanders, while her superiors are actually junior to her in rank, belonging to the fifth tier of islanders.
Sanae's actually done pretty well for herself in building up her clout on the island. Despite being introduced later than the other characters in the fourth tier, she's mostly caught up to the lowest-ranked of their number due to having almost all her food preferences spaded out. However, that shortage of an All-Time Favourite is the one thing preventing her from surging into the frontlines.
Sanae mostly demands clothes, which are easy demands to fulfil, along with hats and accessories. In contrast she quite likes her psychedelic new-age room and has yet to want to trade it for anything else. As such, she's surprisingly easy to please among Gensokyo Island residents. She also has a knack for surprising Okuu's Look-alike by always coming up with a witty quip, even in dreams when she turns the tables on the character attempting to prank her. If she has a demerit to her it's that she has a hard time building up relationships with other characters - her relationship with Baldren nearly never improves to the maximum, and she frequently gets in fights with just about anyone. But what else is a youkai exterminator to do on a demon-infested island like this one?
Through her wit and cunning, Sanae has established herself as a strong character on Gensokyo Island in her own right. She might have touches of the crazy and the genocidial inclination endemic on Gensokyo Island, but she's not the green-blue Player 2 to the red-white Reimu, nor is she a dependant to her house gods Kanako and Suwako, but is practically an equal to them. So don't be held back by common sense - add Sanae Kochiya to your island today!
There isn't really anything that approximates her outfit that closely, so how about this coat with the same pattern as her skirt?
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 18th May 2015
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 19th May 2015
Children
Ken Izumi announced that his wife Suika Ibuki was pregnant with their first child!
Gensokyo Gourmands
Desco Kazamatsuri tried a Gummy Candy today. She thought it was the Worst Ever!
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 20th May 2015
Happy 19th Birthday, Sanae Kochiya!
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