What's a human interest story anyway? Something that interests humans? What are humans? Well, if they are anything like Miis their favourite things in life have got to be food, love, and doing the old horizontal mambo. You don't know what that is? I hear it's sort of like the hokey cokey, y' put yer something in and put yer something out, and that's what it's all about. It's very popular, so I've heard, but it's too bad that since Okuu's Look-alike has all the residents of Gensokyo Island permanently on baby-making duty they haven't had time to indulge in a little spot of dance.
Even the workers at the baby factory need to eat something every now and then (preferably something that isn't babies), so I trooped down to the Morning Market to see what delicacies Gensokyo Island had on offer... assuming Gensokyo Island's resident black hole, Yuyuko Saigyouji, hadn't eaten them all already.
Bananas and Pickles? I'm sensing a theme here... but you can bet Aya loves those nanas and Maxie just had a little of Archie's Pickle(s).
Mmm... truly exotic dishes they have around here, like Banana Peels for instance. It's so kind of them to remove that weird stuff in the middle so you don't have to get your hands dirty doing it. Even so, back home, we only eat the leaves, along with some rice and other weird vegetables. And who's that over there selling those jars of Pickles but Archibald Aqua? And that man who just walked past him... is that his sworn enemy and nemesis Maximillian Magma? What were they doing together?
Maybe they aren't so hostile to each other after all, or maybe they were just talking about, uh, Pickles. That's right. Maxie would like some of Archie's Pickle(s). Not for himself, of course, but, uh, for his wife, Yuyuko, who'd eat anything and especially Pickles. Archie's Pickles.
My stomach was starting to growl after thinking about Archie's Pickles so I gallivanted over to the Food Mart for something filling to spend my advance, um, I meant my allowance on. It just so happened that today, they were offering a special two-for-one combination meal, where two pieces of food that really ought to be served together were instead separated and forced to watch mournfully as their counterpart is consumed in a process of slow and agonising death.
Today's specialty? Spaghetti and Meatballs. Except that they aren't actually allowed to serve Spaghetti and Meatballs together because both take up 1 1/2 times the amount of space that's actually available in anyone's stomach (even Yuyuko Saigyouji's). So instead we have to break them apart and eat them one at a time. Alas, such a tragedy.
On top of Spaghetti, all covered with Cheese, I lost my poor Meatballs, when humanity a grim reminder received...
Ambling about later to work off my lunch (a lass like me has to keep her figure after all) I encountered Okuu's Look-alike engaged in a heated debate with Archie, whom I saw earlier at the fountain. Perhaps this was to discuss the inferior quality of his Pickles? As it turns out, this was not the case - rather, Archie was discussing some, uh, 'sensitive girl things' he found lying around his apartment the other day. And by sensitive girl things he meant a pair of swanky Gold Earrings... with Maxie's name on it.
Well, I don't know a girl who'd go so far as to write her own name on jewellery but Maxie isn't actually a girl so I'd figure he might be the type to do it. Since the pair aren't on speaking terms (except, apparently, where Archie's Pickles are concerned) Okuu's Look-alike did the honours about confronting Maxie over hiding in the closet... because he was too much of a chicken to come out of the closet and admit he lost something in Archie's room, obviously while he was burgling and sabotaging it in his latest nefarious scheme. Because he is a world-threatening evil genius super-villain, of course.
It's an open secret that the pair of them... Archie and Maxie, are actually, secretly ... good friends. But they still won't talk to each other in public.
Naturally, Maxie was very glad to have his swanky Gold Earrings back, even if it had Archie's grubby fingerprints all over it, and an attached card proclaiming "Maxieee, you little scamp, you're such a tease". It's worth 150 quid, after all, and probably more now that it had a sample of his archenemy Archie's precious bodily fluids on it. But he seemed extremely pleased anyhow, and disappeared into the backroom of his house.
A few hours later, however, he summoned Okuu's Look-alike to his flat again, this time to make an announcement...
Also, Maxie has been thinking about becoming a furry... I mean, a Poké Maniac.
I wonder what he did with those Gold Earrings?
No doubt he must have used them to bribe his wife Yuyuko Saigyouji, as perhaps even Archie's Pickle(s) might not have been enough for her. But you can't eat Gold Earrings, can you? So why would she want it? Or maybe it was some kind of special equipment to make sure their kid inherits the appropriate IVs or nature. One could only ponder the multifarious possibilities a supergenius villain such as Maxie could have come up with to make use of those Gold Earrings.
So, what do you think of my "human interest story" that I came up with today? It has the trifecta of points of appeal, food, love, and whoopee. My usual partner Eugene was kinda busy today on another project so I met another fellow just like him, the rich kid Mitsukuni Haninozuka, and asked him what he thought of my little tale.
What what what with the Pickles again? And put it in where???
I gather he didn't like it.
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 2nd May 2015
Gensokyo Gourmands
Mitsukuni Haninozuka tried some White Bread today. He thought it was the Worst!
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 3rd May 2015
Children
Maximillian Magma announced that his wife Yuyuko Saigyouji was pregnant with their third child!
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