We thought you would be, uh, lonely down at the port by your lonesome, lonely self. That's it.
*BLINK*
Ahem, that's right! So... uh, what brings you to our wonderful Bunbunmaru Updates office this time of the year? Lovely summer, the birds are chirping, the cicadas are also chirping, the burglar alarms are also chirping....
T... that's right! We didn't actually think you'd show up here, because we didn't think you'd actually do any... um... I mean didn't think we asked you to actually do anything... that's right. So you can go back any time... don't let us keep you...
I told you. I will be back.
Ugh... where's our lazy boss Aya Shameimaru when you need her...
Gotta go fast, gotta go fast... Aya's engaged in some on-to-one training, though it's not clear who's the one being trained...
S... so was there something you wanted, Alex? You know, since you came all the way here... not for nothing, I presume...? Can I get you, er, a Green Juice, maybe?
Why not have a seat over here?
Uh... I'll be fine, really! I'll just stand over here, and just shut down my computer while I'm at it...
Why do you not have a seat over here?
All right! All right!
Now, ever since I arrived on this island, I have been tracking a certain individual.
*sweating furiously*
He goes by a false name, with a false identity, but the danger he poses is very real.
It's not me, right? I mean... I'm really Kiba, everyone knows that! You know, Kiba as in Akiba? Because I play computer games and watch anime all day?
And it really can't be me either, because everyone knows I'm harmless! Really! And I'm not just being self-deprecating!
19 years old? You've got to be kidding! Do you tell that to every girl you try to meet? (Every "adult" with an undefined age started at 18 years...)
The individual known as "Kimura" was earlier today observed commemorating his impartation into this continuum.
Oh, that's... really nice, yes. ("Whew... I'm glad it wasn't me that freak was talking about...")
I'm sure it was fun. That's for sure! ("Luckily he didn't check the art I downloaded... I hope...")
Subsequently, Kimura was observed discussing his romantic feelings with his companion, the child-like being of female appearance known as "Suwako".
Uh, yeah, we knew he was a bad guy all along. Preying on children is absolutely creepy and disgusting.
Child-like being, that's right.. there's more truth to that description than Alex may know... definitely more than Yugen knows, by the sound of it.
They concluded that the ritual known as matrimony was the only logical next step to take regarding their status as living beings.
I had a feeling this was coming, but... yuck.
It is remarkable to note that Suwako was the one who opted to broach this course of action.
Wait, whaaaat...? That's... you can't be saying... no way!
When does Mister Kimura not think about Suwako? When you try to play the proposal mini-game, that's when! (he thinks about other little girls.)
Your conclusions are correct, Kiba. Kimura has unwittingly become part of a ploy to propogate an alien species across this world, which will consume and eradicate all Miis, and eventually the planet itself.
No... no, no, no... they picked the perfect target! There was a reason why they held back for this long, but...
Wait, aliens? Alex, Kiba didn't befuddle you with another of his ridiculous conspiracy theories, did he?
That's it. If we don't break them up, the world is doomed to be consumed and transformed into a writhing mass of flesh, eyeballs, and tentacles. Yugen, you idiot! Didn't you read Saya no Uta?
Say... say what?
The only possible course of action now is to divest Suwako of her grip over Kimura before she can reproduce and utilise the machinery of Gensokyo Island to distribute her spawn across the rest of this planet.
So... it was their master plan all along. Suwako Moriya, the tentacled alien goddess, has finally started the last phase of her plan to conquer the planet. To find an unwitting mate oblivious enough to her otherworldly nature even when it's revealed in their intimacy, then to find a foolish island's owner who would defend their relationship to the death no matter what hellspawn she produces, and gift her the means by which she would send her progeny around the world to repeat the process anew...
Huh? What are you talking about? Suwako is... a girl, right? Right? Not a living embodiment of Yog-Sothothwatzisface, or some kind of soul-sucking interdimensional alien working against the heat death of the universe, right?
What kind of girl has "eyes" on her face that never ever move and another pair of eyes on the top of her head... that actually blink?
W.... what are you saying?!
I'm saying, Yugen, that this planet is screwed! it's only a matter of time before all of us are transformed into writhing masses of primal chaos!
No, those aren't feelers like Wriggle's on the top of her head. Props to Sanae and Kanako to show up at the wedding of the last member of the triad.
I'm not dreaming, am I... are you two telling me that not only is Kiba's conspiracy theory actually correct for once, but even a hard-nosed chap like Alex actually believes him?
Speaking of which... Alex, how do you know all this? I mean... not about what happened today, but about Suwako and her wicked plans?
I came.
... what?
I came... to warn you. To warn all of you. To warn this planet itself.
I... see? And where did you come from?
The future.
WHAAAT???!!!!
Keyword detected. Commence playback. In the grim darkness of the future, there is only flesh, teeth, and tentacles where this planet used to be. That is why I was sent into the past, to urge history to stop this catastrophe before it can happen. My slade-adamantium alloy frame was specifically designed to resist the corrosive attacks of the alien broodmother. Now I must return... back to the future. End recording.
W... wait, you mean Alex is actually a robot cyborg alien assassin from the future who also happens to be made out of stone? Kiba, how in the world...
I warned you about giant stone head robot alien assassins from the future, bro! I told you bro!
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 30th June 2015
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 1st July 2015
Happy 19th(?) Birthday, Mister Kimura!
Relationships and Marriage
Suwako Moriya proposed to Mister Kimura today. He accepted! Congratulations to the newly married couple!
Children
Alice Margatroid announced that she was pregnant with Kyubey Incubator's sixth child!
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 2nd July 2015
Relationships and Marriage
Armin Arlert and Kagerou Imaizumi became Best Friends!
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