30 June 2015

Shale Shocked

It seems like it's gotten all quiet again here on Gensokyo Island, hasn't it, Kiba?

...

Hey, Kiba, can you hear me from under that tinfoil hat of yours?

... whaaat?! I can't take it off or the harmonisation waves will get to me! I won't let myself be turned into one of them, I swear! I'm far too much of an individual!

Kiba... you're being weird again, aren't you? Even if something strange is happening... or, has happened to the denizens of Gensokyo Island, the two of us seem to be pretty fine, at least on the surface.

That's because of the precautions I've taken! I mean, do you really want to be brainwashed into becoming polite and compliant and all around perfect? I don't think so, do you?

Dear lord... since when was that ever an accurate description of the bedlam that occurs around here on a daily basis. It's toned down a bit, but hasn't been eliminated, that's for sure.

But... perfection... I mean, I heard from Junya Ohta that he was planning on bringing Evil Spirit Mima back in the latest installation of Touhou Project! If that's not a sign that the world has been modified to become perfect somehow, what is?

Evil Spirit Mima's biography, perfectly pixellated in the way that she used to be (and has only ever been...)

Um... I haven't a clue what it is you're talking about. And regarding Mima, it's just a book about her life that she's decided to publish. And it happens to be suspiciously empty regarding anything that happened in the 21st century.

That doesn't mean it won't happen! It's a conspiracy, I tell you! Some higher power has been meddling with our destinies to smoothen everything out and make it all rosy and peachy, as if we were some sort of pets or lab experiment!

You're getting a little hysterical, aren't you, Kiba. There's really no evidence of any of those things you're supposing at all.

Not without reason! It's the Illuminati... government... alien... whatever conspiracy covering it up. I mean, just the other day we got a letter from a traveller, we haven't had one in a while! And that proves that things turned out okay!

And... how exactly is that proof of a cosmic conspiracy again? It's not as if anything at all that actually goes right is a cause for alarm.

A pirate I was meant to be, trim the sails and roam the seas...

It seems that Minosuke, one of the numerous children of Utsuho Reiuji and Rinnosuke Morichika, has just written back from Funland Island, and he's having the experience of a lifetime. As a gentleman adventurer myself, I'm happy for him as well, though I do have to say that this isn't anything especially out of the ordinary.

But... but didn't you read what he wrote? That everyone started mispronouncing his name! They're out to get him! They're out to get us!

Wait... weren't you saying that the conspiracy was about everything going right? And now something's gone wrong, so how can that be part of the same conspiracy?
 
It's all a trick to catch us off guard, I tell you. Those evil future alien robot Illuminati government freaks are planting all these false herrings so we'll be lulled into a false sense of security, and one day when no one's looking, poof! Free will, imperfection, everything that makes us alive will be wiped from the earth. Even now, their spies walk among us, monitoring us, covertly "correcting" all those things that are inconvenient to their master plan...

 Having a name like a samurai - totally awesome. Hearing the computerised voice completely flub its pronunciation - a real downer.

Why did you bring up Chiyo Mihama and Shikieiki Yamaxanadu's youngest child Kiyomasa just when you started talking about spies? Are you implying that a newborn infant happens to be an alien assassin or spy from... from the future, or whatever?

It could be anyone! It could be you! It could be me! It could even be...

*slap* To think that all this started from the time that stony-faced, oddly-handsome looking and unnaturally composed chap Alex happened upon Gensokyo Island.

That's right! Alex! He's the mastermind! Even now, he's sending his agents, observing us, monitoring us, tracking our every move. He knows, Yugen, he knows!!!

Don't be ridiculous, he's down at the port waiting for the next transport ship, after he decided that he wouldn't help us out at Bunbunmaru Updates. What makes you think he'd be here right now, as if he was stalking us all this time...

Hello there. 

EEEaaarghhhh!!!!


BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 27th June 2015



BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 28th June 2015

Traveller Updates
Minosuke, son of Utsuho Reiuji and Rinnosuke Morichika, wrote back from FUNLAND Island! He has visited 2 islands so far.

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 29th June 2015

Children
Kiyomasa was born to Chiyo Mihama and Shikieiki Yamaxanadu. It's their ninth child! He is an Independent Free Spirit. 

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