The wails... the screams... all day, all night... even after I take off my headphones from playing Parasite Hazard... they won't go away. They haunt me.
N... no, I swear! I'm not hallucinating or anything, it's true! I mean, yeah, it's partly my fault for hijacking Gensokyo Island's wifi by camping in the mdidle of Mii Homes, but really! Do you know what it's like to have that crying and screaming ringing in your ears all the time, down every street you walk or house you pass?
It's the babies, I tell you! The babies! This place is crawling with them, swarming with them, literally overflowing with them, spilling their toxins into the sea. Even as one bawling infant grows into an only half-adjusted, barely sapient being, another emerges from the deep dark cavities of another of Gensokyo Island's couples.
I'm certainly I'm describing the truth, rather than simply being unflattering. Take a look!
It's interesting to note that these are two of the more "unique" children the island has produced that don't look like outright monsters.
Lewis, third son and fourth child of Alice Margatroid and Kyubey Incubator, prepared himself for the journey into the wider world by memorising a brain-meltingly incoherent poem and brushing his giant eyebrows. However, Reina, third daughter and seventh child of Reimu Hakurei and Junya Ohta needed no such preparation, since she looked an awful lot like a barmy Western cartoon character, albeit one whose tone didn't really match that of the island.
However, even just as two of the offspring of the islanders are packed up and shipped off to the great unknown, yet another two take their place. Seriously, what sort of crazy organisation is Okuu's Look-alike running here? Is there even any rhyme or reason behind this mad proliferation of babies? What happens to all those kids that leave this island, anyway? Do they end up in Kate and Sidney pies, or what? Do the islanders even care about what happens to the bawling little monstrosities they've spent so much time, energy, and sanity to raise?
Blooming babies, manifesting babies... so many explanations as to where children come from. It's gotta be the stork, though.
Yuuka Kazami, the ultimate sadistic creature, proposed a third occasion of vegetative reproduction with her oblivious and hapless scientist husband Augustine Sycamore. At the same time, Miko Toyosatomimi, the persistent spirit of the legendary Prince Shoutoku, seemed to be in the process of conducting a forbidden summoning ritual with her wife the witch Marisa Kirisame for the fifth time.
Well... actually, I'm not that dumb. I know the truth, they just went to their bedroom in their home, locked the door, and did something where no one could see them, and a couple of days later a baby is born. I mean, they couldn't be seen, but they could most certainly be heard! The resounding crack of a leather and Sycamore's groan of ecstacy when Yuuka whipped ... um, yeah. Something like that. I'm sure the Marquis de Sade would be proud, anyway.
Ugh... anyway, this recent epidemic of babies has really got me on edge. How I long for the "boring" days of the few weeks past! Now, it seems that every sound wafting in the air is the cry of an infant, every topic of conversation is about so-and-so's next child and whether they'll have what it takes to stay on the island... it's driving me mad!
You know what I need to do now? I need to find someone who's bad, really bad, who also hates babies, and can do us all a favour by getting rid of them. And who else but the self-proclaimed renowned mad scientist supervillain, Maximillian...
Isn't it appropriate that Mokou, the blazing phoenix, happens to be the stranger showing up at Maxie's birthday party?
Oh dear, he seems to be a little busy at the moment, not to mention probably full of birthday cake by the time the day is done. It's awfully generous of his wife Yuyuko Saigyouji to actually restrain her monstrous appetite to give her husband a chance... well, at least for his birthday.
Well, I guess hiring some baby-eating villains isn't an option. I wonder, is there another way to deal with this infestation of infants? Like, someone who wouldn't actually try to destroy them, but rather "treat" them in such a way that they would be permanently scarred into being silent for the rest of their nasty, brutish, and short little lives. Do we have any volunteers?
Sanae Kochiya has the appropriate reaction to Mister Kimura being involved in anything which includes children.
Um... yeah. Alright, fine, forget I asked. I hate kids, but even I won't go so far as to get someone like Mister Kimura involved. I guess I'll just have to grin and bear it, try to hold out for the next week or so and hope this pestilence of children fades out eventually. No set of headphones, no amount of PvP victories or wacky anime catchphrases can possibly drone out the wretched, ear-splitting shrillness of a bawling infant writhing in its torment.
Think about it... how many computer games or anime series out there have anything to do with babies at all? They're nothing but a menace to the enjoyment of life. Kiba out... grumble...
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 19th March 2015
Happy 19th Birthday, Maximillian Magma!
Relationships and Marriage
Drake Kitazawa and Evil Spirit Mima are no longer best friends!
Unyuho Morichika and Evil Spirit Mima became best friends!
Children
Lewis, son of Alice Margatroid and Kyubey Incubator, grew up. He was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 20th March 2015
Children
Reina, daughter of Reimu Hakurei and Junya Ohta, grew up. She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!
Yuuka Kazami announced that she was pregnant with her and Augustine Sycamore's third child!
Miko Toyosatomimi announced that her wife Marisa Kirisame was pregnant with their fifth child!
Gensokyo Gourmands
Sanae Kochiya tried a Fried Egg today. She thought it was the Worst!
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