10 March 2015

Poking the Ashes

Heyo, everyone! It's Toritori here with the latest updates from Gensokyo Island. In fact, we have an urgent amendment to the article we last published concerning one of our residents.

Last time, we reported that Maximillian Magma, being the leader of Team Magma, was one of the most evil people on this island. However, our latest research has revealed that Maxie is now reformed, no longer aiming to dry up the seas in order to expand the land mass. 

This strange reversal came about thanks to Maxie recently having acquired a taste for one of the ocean's most humble products - the Coconut. It did not take long for a genius scientist like him to realise that if the oceans were to dry up, coconuts would no longer be able to flourish and his favourite delicacy would be lost forever! 

And so, he decided to abandon his plan to drain the world's oceans... and instead focus on other things like trying to raise more islands from the sea floor so more land could be used for cultivating Coconut. What a firebrand! He's still most definitely one of the most incorrigible villains on this island., so you've been warned, folks!

Maxie, the only person who could complain about there being too much water while on fire, realises his life mistakes (and bad wig) after tasting Coconut.

When you think about it, it's not that hard to understand Maxie's burning passion for fire, as after all, what emotion is stronger than burning love? Speaking of love, again related to the latest news, we might remember that Almaz Beoulve and Hinoko Gassenarl's whirlwind romance and subsequent breakup was the talk of the island. It was only a day or two later that Hinoko's heart was once again stolen away by a different young lad. However, until today Almaz still has yet to rekindle those flames of romance with anyone.

Noticing this, two of Gensokyo Island's other residents decided to take up the role of being a love doctor to "cure" Almaz's suddenly single status. Mitsukuni Haninozuka and Patchouli Knowledge, both concerned for their mutual friend Almaz, attempted to set him up with the same person - Koyomi Saigyouji, Maxie and Yuyuko Saigyouji's daughter. Needless to say, considering how he needed to be encouraged twice to even show up, their attempts were a failure...

 Their persistence is commendable... and no, I didn't make the suggestion. I merely checked to see bthe other options, then went with their original choice.

Hmm... perhaps Okuu's Look-alike had a hand in this, knowing her opposition to islanders setting up these impromptu blind dates that inevitably end in disaster. But it's not impossible for repeated "blind dates" between two islanders who initially reject each other to eventually succeed, if the story of Shanghai Margatroid and Kanako Yasaka's relationship is anything to go by. One day, true love will power through, and Okuu's Look-alike and her wicked schemes will be defeated!

Speaking of wicked schemes, yet more of them were set in action today here on Gensokyo Island ... and by wicked schemes we mean the plot to flood the rest of the world with the spawn Gensokyo Island's denizens. Adnachiel, the son and second child of Patchouli Knowledge and Overlord Mao, was sent off today on his mission to subjugate the world under the thumb of the evil space demon alien overlords... whatever that is. But look at that scowl on his face! That's how you tell Gensokyo Island's "youth re-education" programme has been successful. You know who else had a "youth re-education" programme? Uh... just about every country in the world, actually.

At the same time, Margit Ravelli and Archibald Aqua announced the birth of their fourth child, a daughter by the name of Abigail. Apparently, Okuu's Look-alike accepted the suggested name right away without hesitation, which is pretty unusual by her standards and her penchant for bizarre names. Maybe it has something to do with the name beginning with "A"? And what's with that sinister look on the newborn's face? But let's not start a witch hunt here, it's enough of a crucible as it is.


Maybe I do in fact have a thing for names starting with A. It's the most common first letter of a name among Gensokyo Island's residents.

That demoniac look that's seemingly omnipresent among the children of Gensokyo Island's residents is... unnerving, to say the least. And it seems that those who don't have such a stare almost inevitably turn out to be loopy goofballs. I can't even imagine ever being a child on this island, what with the parents, the environment, the nutter responsible for running all of it, this fiasco about designer babies... what else is there?

If Okuu's Look-alike is going to kick up such a fuss about the appearance or personality of children, why not work things out with their parents first before embarking on the more extreme measures? Or, you know, just use the dictator's Fiat to roll right over nature and common sense by literally "designing" Gensokyo Island's kids. It's not an unprecedented feat, actually, I'm thinking how a certain acquaintance of one of the island's residents managed to do just that.by combining sugar, spice, and everything nice, this managing to create the perfect little girl. His name is...

Ugh! Sorry, I apologise but my time ran out quickly today! We'll swing around to our special report the name time we meet but for now, this is Toritori, signing off!

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 9th March 2015

Children
Abigail was born to Margit Ravelli and Archibald Aqua. It's their fourth child! She is an Easygoing Dreamer.

Gensokyo Gourmands
Maximillian Magma tried some Coconut today. It's his All-Time Favourite food!

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 10th March 2015

Children
Adnachiel, son of Patchouli Knowledge and Overlord Mao, grew up. He was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!  

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