More of what? Babies, of course! You know how I said I couldn't stand babies, and it was true then, and it still is now. And yet every single report these days being about babies is driving me totally up the wall, just reading about them... it's like I can hear their screaming and crying even now. I thought I was in a dreamland here on Gensokyo Island when I learned about this place full of characters from my favourite series, and then these babies had to show up and ruin all the magic of it.
And yet, Okuu's Look-alike takes an almost academic, or perhaps more accurately a commercial interest in these bawling little mounds of flesh. What can I say? After all, she is the completely unelected dictator-for-life of this sweatshop factory dedicated to the mass production of miniature weapons of mass destruction and it behooves her to ensure her hapless minions keep that assembly line running.
Hey, Nanako, look at these three kids around you. When you grow up, you'll be just like them, given a silly catchphrase and packed off to see the world.
Hmm... based on these reports, the recent boom in production here at the Gensokyo Island baby factory may have finally petered out, with only one new screaming monstrosity brought into the world over the last couple of days, but with three finally graduating into the suicide bombing... I mean the travelling life.
Kyouko Kasodani and Wriggle Nightbug became the third couple on the island to have seven children, presenting the rather unimaginatively named Nanako who is their sixth daughter. Did I mention records show all six of those daughters looked just like their mother? Imagination certainly isn't their strong suit, but as long as Wriggle doesn't Wriggle-kick up a fuss like she did several months ago with her divorce Okuu's Look-alike really doesn't have any cause for complaint.
In the meantime, three kids were "sent off", or should I rather say "sent down" as they've effectively been ceremoniously booted out of their parents' house to live a life as a vagrant for the next few months at the very least.
Okuu's Look-alike must have been drunk out of her wits (not like she isn't all the time) when coming up with a catchphrase for Chitose, the sixth child of Chiyo Mihama and Shikieiki Yamaxanadu. Apparently, it would have been an even more overt reference to underage drinking, but Shiki Eiki being a Supreme Judge of Paradise might have had something to do with that not being allowed to stand. On the other hand it seems that Okuu's Look-alike sold the rights on the fourth child of Aliasse Foerster and Minamitsu Murasa, Raymond's catchphrase to a certain organisation intent on press-ganging as many members as possible into their midst. Indeed, the only one whose phrase I found to be astoundingly apt would be that of Unyuho Morichika and Berthold Gregor's second child, Victoria, who I am sure speaks for us all with that very profound judgement of hers.
Ugh... all of these bawling, puking, mewling babies are driving me crazy. Is there any way to get away from them, any way at all? Somewhere I could go to escape from it all... and preferably somewhere with an internet connection, too?
I'm proud of you, son. Now we are a family again.
Oh... oh dear. I guess that's no longer an option. It's a good thing that Reisen Udongein Inaba's kinda used to the vacuum of space, having lived on the moon and all, but Tadakichi Mihama might not fare so well...
Honestly, I'm not too worried about him. The second generation of Gensokyo Island residents - that is, the children of original residents, are only "partly" based on game and anime characters after all, which is to say they have similar names but may have big differences in personality or appearance. Even Okuu's Look-alike calls them "semi-original" characters, whatever that means. So a geek who's dedicated to the source material like me really isn't too bothered about what happens to them.
But it's not just that. The second-generation islanders here - Shanghai Margatroid, Unyuho Reiuji, Tadakichi Mihama, Hinoko Gassenarl, Tia Arlert, Koyomi Saigyouji, Hoshi Toramaru, Almaz Beoulve, and Toyohime Kirisame, are also known for being absolutely merciless and cut-throat backstabbers, especially when it comes to their fellow second-generation islanders. They'll do absolutely anything to undermine and humiliate each other just for the sake of entertainment and cruelty. It's as if they were competing for attention in front of some evil overlord somewhere ... oh wait, actually they are.
Our next broadcast will see us dealing with one of these young villains, brought up in the toxic environment of Gensokyo Island. Heck, I'd probably turn into a villain too if I was plagued by nothing but the sound of crying babies all day and night... and I think I already am starting down that path. And I'll end things off by just leaving this teaser right here...
Patience, young grasshopper. We'll teach you the ways of supervillain soon enough.
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 23rd March 2015
Children
Nanako was born to Kyouko Kasodani and Wriggle Nightbug. It's their seventh child! She is an Independent Artist.
Chitose, daughter of Chiyo Mihama and Shikieiki Yamaxanadu, grew up. She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 24th March 2015
Children
Raymond, son of Aliasse Foerster and Minamitsu Murasa, grew up. He was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!
Victoria, daughter of Unyuho Morichika and Berthold Gregor, grew up! She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!
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