Oh yes, hi hi! It's Toritori here with the latest big scoop. And what's bigger than the ever-burgeoning ball of baby flesh building up here on Gensokyo Island?
I need to come up with more interesting catchphrases... but interesting kids with an interesting theme write their own catchphrases.
Utsuho Reiuji and Rinnosuke Morichika's seventh child Natsuki, together with Marisa Kirisame and Miko Toyosatomimi's fifth child Toyotoshi were the latest to roll off the assembly line here on Gensokyo Island. At the same time, Recette Lemongrass and Armin Arlert were aiming for their fifth child and Desco Kazamatsuri and Mitsukuni Haninozuka for their second.
Y'know, it seems almost a privilege to raise children for the glory of Gensokyo Island. I mean, that dictator person Okuu's Look-alike treats you better, actually says nice things about you, gives you free stuff and all... well, and also makes snide comments about your parenting skills or lack thereof and makes veiled... actually pretty overt threats to shake those babies as hard as she possibly can. No wonder all the kids on this island turn out so "unique", ahem.
Ah well, but barmy kids can only be born from none other but barmy parents. And with nutters like the quirky, maladjusted, and downright bizarre folk on Gensokyo Island, what more can we really expect?
I... you don't say, Wriggle? Isn't wearing the trousers in your relationship enough for you?
And where else do crazy parents come from but from dysfunctional relationships. Okuu's Look-alike has been ranting on and on about how much she hates 'blind dates' where islanders try to set each other up in relationships, but that's a bit unfair considering that attempting to confess their feelings is hardly any more successful.
Why, just today, Mokou Fujiwara, who had recently been the target of her immortal enemy Kaguya Houraisan's supposed 'affections', today decided to confess some burning love of her own. And naturally, they were to... Suwako Moriya, perhaps to save her from the misfortune of being paired with the notorious child predator Mister Kimura. Asking Okuu's Look-alike for her opinion, the move was okayed despite the possibility of breaking up Suwako and Mister Kimura's relationship... or perhaps because of that possibility.
Unfortunately for Mokou and Okuu's Look-alike, things didn't really turn out in their favour...
Mokou doing that pose is totally boss and in character - I'm glad I told her to do it even if she didn't succeed (and the pickup line sucked).
Honestly, though, who would have expected otherwise? I'm actually getting the feeling that Mokou got trolled twice over - once by Suwako dumping her for a much less desirable and hopelessly awkward old man, and by Okuu's Look-alike for telling her to go ahead with it anyway, for the lulz. I think that's just why Okuu's Look-alike prefers love confessions rather than blind dates - it's got nothing to do with love itself, but rather due to the potential for hilarious wacky hijinks.
Ah yes, but love does lead to relationships, and relationships to marriage, and marriage to babies, and babies to a termially sleep-deprived Kiba. We all have to start somewhere. So today, we're going to embark on interviewing the first second-generation islander... well, actually the second second-generation islander by seniority, but the first to be interviewed... one, two buckle my shoe. Um, right, sorry, got a little tongue-tied there.
Anyway, this individual comes pretty high in the rankings as far as everyone's concerned, after all, she is the first child and daughter of Utsuho Reiuji, better known Okuu, who is the look-alike of Okuu's Look-alike... bleh. These tautologies are wrapping my tongue in knots. Anyway, I'd like to present the star of today's interview, Unyuho Morichika!
Unyuho Morichika
All information correct as of 26 March 2015
Unyuho on the catwalk - an odd mix of funny and funky.
Name: Unyuho Morichika
Nickname: Unyuho
Date of Birth: 24th November 2015
Personality: Easygoing Softie
Favourite Colour: Light Green
Quotation: "Unyu! Unyuho!"
Unyuho is a semi-original character who is based off of but not actually from the Touhou Project by Team Shanghai Alice. Unyuho is widely considered by the fandom as the hypothetical child of Utsuho Reiuji, who is often portrayed as being an ideal character to be a mother, albeit an extremely ditzy one prone to random explosions. Presumably, her child would inherit some of her abilities so she would hopefully be immune or at least resistant to those explosions and the radiation Okuu constantly outputs. The name Unyuho comes from Okuu's catchphrase, "Unyu!", combined with her name Utsuho to create a cutesy-sounding nickname.
While Unyuho is often drawn as a miniaturised version of Okuu, on Gensokyo Island she was born with grey hair similar to her father Rinnosuke Morichika, so I decided to give her the last name of Morichika instead. She also inherited her father's height, and also a bit of plumpness which neither of her parents possess. As such, here on Gensokyo Island she's truly her own unique character and not really a look-alike of what the typical Touhou fan would think of upon imagining Unyuho.
Unyuho is the only thing that can make Berthold Gregor smile... apart from the genocide of inferior races.
Husband: Berthold Gregor
Best Friend: Evil Spirit Mima, formerly Margit Ravelli
Parents: Utsuho Reiuji, Rinnosuke Morichika
Children: Gloriana, Victoria
Unyuho was the second second-generation islander to be born, but was the first to get married. It's a rather unlikely romance, considering that Berthold Gregor happens to be an aristocratic, stone-faced army general who's over 50 years old, while Unyuho is... a little bird. But it takes all sorts, and here on Gensokyo Island we welcome all sorts.
It might have been a whirlwind romance, but at least it was born of love, and it has held decently well so far. It's pretty clear who's the boss in the marriage though, considering the names of the children. Dealing with second-generation islanders is tough as they no longer have a source material to draw ideas from, and it's mostly up to them and their achievements on the island to build a foundation on which to expand their characterisation.
Unyuho and Margit Ravelli made very unlikely best friends, considering that they're at exact opposites of the personality chart with Margit being a Confident Go-Getter. Unfortunately, it seems that was not to last - perhaps in a conspiracy of sorts, Unyuho and Evil Spirit Mima both broke up with their best friends and became chums with each other. Margit's the kind to take things in stride, so she probably wouldn't be too fussed, but... ah, what's left of Drake Kitazawa's mental state is probably decaying away with every day that passes.
Think your armour's invincible? This blue whale's waterspout will turn it into rust!
Food Preferences:
Worst: Roast Beef
Okuu's Look-alike Rating - Roast Beef: Favourite!! That's right, if I was a Mii in Tomodachi Life I'd declare Roast Beef to be my favourite, because I'm just totally nuts about beef and especially Roast Beef. What can I say? What makes a favourite food your favourite is that you could eat it all day, every day, for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and you'd never get bored. Not for a week or so, at least. And Roast Beef is right up there on that list of favourites, behind only a good Steak.
Song Participation:
Gotta Slay 'em All, Rap, backup dancer for The Recon Corps
As the first children born on Gensokyo Island, it was only natural to invite Unyuho and her fellow second-generation islander Shanghai Margatroid to dance along to a song about killing tall people. Since then, though, every single character featuring in that song has "grown up", and they're no longer so small any more. No, not even the midget. And it just so happens that Unyuho is probably one of the tallest of the bunch.
Unyuho hangs out with the Touhou Project girls of Gensokyo Island. Sometimes they get along, sometimes... not so much.
Apartment: Apt. 403, formerly Apt. 402
Islander Rating: Average Tier
Unyuho is probably average as far as the fourth batch of islanders goes. She and Shanghai have had a slight advantage in that they were introduced first, giving them approximately five levels of a headstart, and also explaining the degree of shuffling among their apartments. However, the lack of an all-time favourite food (save Maximillian Magma, for whom it was only recently discovered) generally holds back their progress of all of them as a group.
When I say Unyuho is average, I mean just that - she doesn't stand out in either a positive or a negative way. She's not especially demanding, but she does get her fair share, and unlike Drake Kitazawa whom we last interviewed she's not particularly unlucky despite only having a Worst food discovered. If anything, she really likes clothes - and clothes of all sorts are always in plentiful supply here on Gensokyo Island.
Unyuho, being an Easygoing Softie, isn't the type to really stand out in any way. She does have her moments of passion when in a fight with another islander, but she's mostly the happy-go-lucky type, content to live life from day to day in the blissful tropical (with snow) paradise that is Gensokyo Island. After all, when your dad is a shopkeeper and your mom is a substitute for the sun itself you have pretty much all the comforts you need in your life. As long as she isn't taken away from them, that is...
She really likes that dress. Maybe because it helps to hide her baby fat.
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 25th March 2015
Children
Natsuki, daughter of Utsuho Reiuji and Rinnosuke Morichika, grew up. She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 26th March 2015
Children
Toyotoshi, son of Marisa Kirisame and Miko Toyosatomimi, grew up. He was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!
Armin Arlert announced that his wife Recette Lemongrass was pregnant with their fifth child!
Desco Kazamatsuri announced that she was pregnant with her and Mitsukuni Haninozuka's second child!
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