Whaaaa!!! Oh, it's just you, Yugen, thank Go...odness. I presume the latest manoeuvre was a success?
Indeed, yes it was, old boy. "Operation Preaching to the Choir" has been accomplished, and we are safe, at least for the time being. We shan't be seeing Christian's face anywhere in this office for the next couple of days, and hopefully not ever if things work out right.
Whew. You're a lifesaver. I can't believe anyone would ever be so dumb was to actually want to volunteer to write for Bunbunmaru Updates, but after hearing about his plans to turn it into "Good News Times" and to insist that the imminent armageddon and rapture of the faithful was a piece of news worthy of printing... let's just say I'm alarmed to even conceive of someone who can stump even Aya Shameimaru.
Without a doubt, good sir. Thankfully he was rather eager to spread his message of salvation to the unpolished masses clinging to the meagre hope of salvation in the afterlife, with nothing more to lose on this earth than their mortal bodies. I trust he shall remain there for a long time - hopefully, for the rest of the time that he remains on Gensokyo Island.
On second thought that doesn't sound that great after all. Gensokyo Island already exports Manchurian Candidate-style biological weapons, exporting a whole group of newly-converted wannabe fundies along with it might not be the smartest idea.... oh, who cares! It's not like we're the ones who'll be suffering!
Too right. And the band played on...
Seeing a couple enjoying themselves on a day out makes me happy too... why, that is indeed Wriggle in a fairy constume.
Well, apart from that recent upsurge in religious fundamentalism, things are slowly starting to recover here on Gensokyo Island. I never thought I'd be relieved to hear the screams of those accursed younglings filling the air again but such is how it has turned out the past few days. It's a subtle reminder that we aren't... rather, we're no longer displaced from the rightful flow of time, trapped forever in the mists of an eternal stasis.
I profess to having that very same opinion. When I first arrived, it was you and Toritori who informed me of this island's tendency toward... explosive procreation. Not in the sense of that movie about extraterrestrials, but rather in numbers. So it was rather underwhelming when the predicted geometric increase in natality failed to materialise.
With that being said, there have finally been a couple of new additions to the chopping block over the past couple of days. Let us first begin with a taste of French haute cuisine, touched with locally-sourced exotic spices of sadism and bondage.
This is the most genial looking baby I have ever seen. Considering the parents, I don't know whether to be impressed or creeped-out.
Jacques, the fifth child of Yuuka Kazami and Augustine Sycamore, was born after what seemed like an interminably long gestation period, but he certainly doesn't seem any worse for wear. The reason for this delay may be shrouded in mystery, but the origins of his name certainly aren't, for Okuu's Look-alike was heard thinking out loud after being consulted on suggestions for a name for an impossibly cheerful looking infant of Gallic stock. She was considering something like Andre for a moment, only to be reminded that the couple's first child and aspiring supervillain Alexandre already took that name. So she suggested Jacques - and was immediately told off for mispronouncing the name.
Seems like standards of governance here on Gensokyo Island are diving ever lower. Apparently it's pronounced something like "dzhac", pretending you're sort of pseudo-Russian and not French at all. But it most definitely isn't pronounced "Jay-queez" at least! I bet the idiot running this place can't even pronounce the word "Quebec". Well, neither can I, haha.
It seems to me like you need a crash course in diplomatic language, Kiba. But while Jacques remains bound to terra firma for now, it's strongly encouraged that his parents train him in some nautical skill, as I forsee that he shall soon have to take the plunge in becoming acquainted with his new home at the bottom of the sea in about a week or so.
This isn't one of those adult/baby face-swapping photoshops, is it?
In our second showcase for today we have the latest experiment by resident mad scientist Overlord Mao, who attempted to clone his wife Patchouli Knowledge. And it looks like it was an overwhelming success!
Is that really something to be happy about? I mean, people always like to talk about how kids have their parents' features but this is ... well, uncanny, to say the least.
Don't question it! It was all For Science! And since Okuu's Look-alike declined Mao's suggested names of "Mini-Me', or 'Patchouli II' (honestly, only Yuyuko is airheaded enough to name her kid Something-II), they decided to go with Patricia just to keep the name as close as possible without being identical.
Patricia Knowledge? That sounds pretty decent, sensible even. So I assume she is a shut-in, just like her mother?
In fact, no, if Mao is to be believed. Predictions are that this child is a new, genetically improved form of Patchouli Knowledge who no longer suffers from weaknesses such as anemia and asthma and can do more exciting and forthright things, like go on quests and kidnap... I mean rescue fair maidens with an astounding similarity to Marisa Kirisame. In other words, a Confident Adventurer.
So, just like Yuuka and Sycamore's son Jacques? It seems that this new batch of Gensokyo Island youth has an adventuring spirit in them, perhaps from being trapped in limbo for so long.
Speaking of Limbo, we just had a letter come in the other day from a place very similar to it...
Maiko has such a pranksterish face, I wouldn't be surprised if she skipped out on this entire "traveller" business altogether.
Marisa and her husband Miko Toyosatomimi's daughter, Maiko, who was the last traveller from Gensokyo Island to be tossed into the mists of time, has just written back from the middle of nowhere , a.k.a. Streetpass Relay Point Island, with the delightful words "LOL Screw all of you, I'm free. FREE!!!" Or something very similar. It had a tone very close to someone who was saying 'Goodbye forever' but with a heck of a lot more sarcasm.
I've never been there myself but I've heard about it. Streetpass Relay Point Island is the kind of place travellers write from when they're pressed to explain their lack of success in actually getting anywhere significant or meaningful, so they, uh, write it off as being a kind of place in itself.
And not being 'anywhere' is, from a traveller's point of view, pretty much equivalent to death. So aren't you glad you're here on Gensokyo Island with me, huh, rich boy?
I... I beg your pardon? What kind of tone is that! I hope you're not propositioning me or anything, I rather resent that you make assumptions about my personal preferences based on my accent and manner of speaking.
No, I'm just saying how appropriate it is that I've always been using the italics in my conversations with Toritori, and you've been using the plaintext when speaking with Rebecca, so now that it's just the two of us left we're evenly matched!
Wait, what? What do you mean italics... plaintext? What are you talking about it?
Not to mention, when two people speak to each other, someone has to take on the role of dedicated fourth-wall breaker, so I'm glad I snagged it before you even thought about it.
Fourth wall what...??? Now you've lost me...
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 2nd June 2015
Children
Jacques was born to Yuuka Kazami and Augustine Sycamore. It's their fifth child! He is a Confident Adventurer.
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 3rd June 2015
Traveller Updates
Maiko, daughter of Marisa Kirisame and Miko Toyosatomimi, wrote back from Streetpass Relay Point Island! She has visited 0 islands so far.
Children
Patricia was born to Patchouli Knowledge and Overlord Mao. It's their fourth child! She is a Confident Adventurer.
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