... what's this huge bump on my head? Is this ... blood?
Huh? Wait? Where the hell am I? Is this really the port? Where is everybody?
Pink haired g... no! Umi! Get down from there! Are you ... performing an idol song? And who are all these other guys? Why is there mysteriously enough actual food for me? Even the portaloo's septic tank isn't overflowing for once.
Did the world ... just change?
The aftermath. Where the hell is everybody? Who are all these guys without neon-highlighted hair?
I'm the most experienced traveller on the island, that's me! Umi, everybody's idol! Come on, scream my name! Yeah! Yeah! Even you, the cardboard box, get up and dance! That's the power of an idol! Celebrate my glory, everyone!
And what power is this? Why, whose song was it that convinced the terrorist "Team Miiracle" to abandon their plans for reconstructing reality? Who encouraged the deranged admiral to befriend the ship girls instead of making war on them? It was, ooh, me! Yeah, Umi! Say it with me, darlings!
In addition, there's also the issue of the five guys in front of me at the port mysteriously disappearing. Where could they have gone? Or maybe they finally recognised my superior talent and stepped aside?
Ah, I'm so caught up in my own song that my head's spinning! In fact, my head's been spinning even before I started singing! I guess I was just ... winding myself up? Haha ... uh ... but this spinning is really starting to bug me. Perhaps it was back when ...
What the hell's been going on? And why would I need a skirt with tentacles attached?
Perhaps, with a little bit of tweaking ... yes. It may be possible to actually hack into the space time continuum to enable communication with the future. Things normally take time to travel, you see, but what is time? What does time really mean? Is it not just our perception - our way of rationalising changes in the reality we see before us?
I would never have expected even one as calculating and self-centred as Okuu's Look-alike to pull something so bizarre. When she mentioned a trade treaty, I thought she meant some sort of agreement with other islands, as any sensible person would have assumed. How then did we arrive at the reality of somehow trading through time and space itself?!
The first hint of suspicion was that letter delivered by Mitsuko, claiming to be from 'Usagi Island'. And yet this morning, before all hell broke loose, another mail ship pulled up to deliver another letter from her ... from before she had ever visited Usagi Island! Was the first mail ship merely a test to see if information ... no, matter itself could be ferried through time, and thus arriving far earlier than any conceivable means of transportation?
Mitsuko and her pal Shamu... from further in the past than the previous letter. What if time didn't pass at one second per second?
I have never hoped for much in this all-too-long life of mine. So I felt an eerie sense of dread when, mysteriously, four passenger ships arrived on the horizon this morning ... or was it five? My memory, no, reality itself is unclear on that matter. But five travellers ahead of Umi senpai left, happily hopping onto the boat before them, eager to escape the hell that their lives have been transformed into over this past week. I fear that they are only leaping into a path which must not, never, ever be trod.
The signs were already there. The boat covered with tentacles extended one towards Hito and hung before him as if staring, leaving him transfixed. I feared that the only way he could preserve his sanity would be through an immediate loss of consciousness and short-term memory, so I did the honours. But that was not the end of it.
A boat arrived at the dock, only for a second one in every way identical to appear minutes later. And yet a different traveller hopped on each, diverging the congruence in their appearance ... perhaps diverging timelines ... or realities ... And most terrifying of all, the unnamed boat, which did not even land a trade good as such boats were wont to do, who took another soul with it. Five travellers, sent off into a world even more unknown than that with which we are usually acquainted.
It was not long after that the aftereffects could be seen on the residents of Gensokyo Island. People slipped into depression, loving couples attempted to divorce each other, warring couples resolved their differences on the marital bed, and babies were born with tentacles. Not necessarily in that order. What just happened here? What did Okuu's Look-alike just do?
Reality has become unhinged. Nothing that a little Deus ex Machina can't fix ... right???
I had to get to the bottom of the situation. Hito was, of course, lying unconscious, and Umi was celebrating her new-found status as the most experienced traveller left at the port by singing pop songs ... songs that were strangely hypnotic, and not through actually being good. It was as if a being from another world was speaking in another language, through and alongside her voice.
No, this cannot go uninvestigated. Okuu's Look-alike, I'm coming for you!
No, this cannot go uninvestigated. Okuu's Look-alike, I'm coming for you!
Yuzu... I heard her say from inside the office. She seemed to be purring over some obviously expensive exotic clothing, a trade good perhaps, priced far beyond the budget of any one islander or for that matter any traveller. Clothing sparking with actual jewels sewn into them, silken patterned floral dresses adorned with giant bows. The sort of things those with no morals are known to trade even lives to acquire.
"This was a triumph." I'm making a note here.
What are the chances? Is this how far she'll go to get into the next Touhou game?
"I've solved the problem of overcrowding at the port on Gensokyo Island, meaning that all ... well, the three of you working for Aya can now finally enjoy proper food, ample living space, and clean toilets once again. Not just that, but we've also got all these lovely trade goods for me to fondle ... I mean, for me to improve the lives of Gensokyo Island's residents, of whom I am so fond!"
"You tore a whole through time and space to do this." At what cost, Okuu's Look-alike? Will you sacrifice reality itself?
"It fulfilled our objectives, didn't it? And besides, the link is closed now. I'm sure the aftereffects will go away after some time too and we'll all forget about it. We just needed to give that baby a shave, after all..."
"And you will do it again if port grows congested once more."
At this point Okuu's Look-alike seemed to grow uneasy, shifting uneasily as she rested on the not exactly comfortable looking diamond-studded fabrics.
"It had to be done."
"It's going to be us next time. That idol wannabe, that goofy-cute innocent young'un ... and me."
Okuu's Look-alike shifted uneasily again as she allowed the precious gems she clutched to tumble to the floor.
"You don't give a damn what happens to us as long as your travellers, from your frankly rather sick and twisted island, get out there into the wider world. And you don't care either how many of those travellers survive, as long as some of them do. I've seen many horrific things in my life, but you ... you disgust me, tyrant."
I had enough. I left that accursed office, slamming the door behind me. What I had said ... I did not regret it at all. The only thing I could find solace in at this point was that Gensokyo Island's denizens, for all their deranged and insane behaviour, were the innocent parties in this whole mess. They were like children, born and raised to see nothing more than what their "creator" placed before them.
Like me.
Turning to leave, I thought I could hear a quiet sob emanating from within the office. But I did not tarry even a moment longer.
Very philosophical Just think about it for a moment.
Finally! Whoo, the concert's over! I'm exhausted ... no, not from singing my heart out! It's from the overwhelming enthusiasm of my fans! I love all of you, I really do! Thank you, Alexandre, and also Carmilla, Kenji, Chester, and our new arrivals Junzo and Cubey!
Here, I'll blow all of you a kiss ... muah! Thank you for your support, for changing your (honestly really quite crazy) plans, and most of all for respecting me as your wonderful senpai and idol. Muah! Another one!
There! That's it for now. Unfortunately, we must nowl return to everyday matters ... yeah ... thought it has been a rather strange day after all. Let me begin with the usual, well, what can be called usual on a day like this...
Aya Shameimaru tasked us with collecting news updates about the affairs of the denizens of Gensokyo Island, but it seems that we've missed an issue due to ... come to think of it, I don't even remember what happened yesterday. I don't even remember the sun having set. Oh ... and my head's still spinning. I'm starting to get a little scared ... but don't worry, my dear fans!
Gensokyo Island's been through a bit of a rough patch recently, but hopefully things will pick up and go back to normal a little with some time. We were supposed to present the next character profile today but due to a lack of time we'll leave it for tomorrow. Yuzu has gone off somewhere, while Hito is ... hey ...
Hito! Are you still there? It looks like he's fainted again! I thought I saw him sitting up just now, but ... wow, his face has taken on a strange colour, and he's frothing a little at the mouth. I thought he should be celebrating, with the movement at the port meaning there's now ample food and space for the rest of us travellers. Oh well ...
Now, let's get back on with the news!
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 16th January 2015
Children
Junzo, son of Reimu Hakurei and Junya Ohta, grew up! He was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!
Cubey, son of Alice Margatroid and Kyubey Incubator, grew up! He was mode to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!
Yuyuko Saigyouji announced that she was pregnant with her and Maximillian Magma's first child!
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 17th January 2015
Traveller Updates
Mitsuko, daughter of Aliasse Foerster and Minamitsu Murasa, wrote back from Suzuran Island! She has visited 2 islands so far.
A boat from Zexal Island arrived. Shousuke of Tomokore Island departed.
A boat from blazers' Island arrived.Tauki of Miremire Island departed.
A boat from R'lyeh Island arrived. Nao of Cheri Island departed.
A boat from ?????? arrived. Nozomi of Rainbow Island departed.
A boat from blazers' Island arrived. Mikio of Puku Island departed.
Relationships and Marriage
Kikuchiyo Kanbei and Rin Kaenbyou became sweethearts! They were set up by Mister Kimura.
Children
Rafa was born to Margit Ravelli and Archibald Aqua. It's their second child! She is an Outgoing Charmer.
Wriggle Nightbug announced that his wife Kyouko Kasodani was pregnant with their fourth child!
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