It's happy days, happy days here at Gensokyo Island! Don't listen to what that worrywart Hito says, there hasn't been any demonic possession or alien infestation or whatever. And Yuzu? Oh, she's so hilarious when she spreads those funny stories, and that dead serious face she puts on makes her so much cuter! Squee!
I mean, just look at today's updates! Even in a place like this, populated with all manner of psychopaths and people of mass destruction, everyone can still have a good time. It's like they cancel each other out or something like that. Why, the denizens of Gensokyo Island were throwing another party today, celebrating the continued survival of one of their own!
ZUN announces - Youmu to appear in next Touhou game! Just kidding, but we allI know what her wish will be!
Isn't Youmu so cute, hanging out with her best friend and mentor Yuyuko Saigyouji, and her husband Drake Kitazawa? And that's Kyouko Kasodani in the background isn't it? Wow, she's such a friendly type, visiting everyone's birthday party. What? Hito, don't be stupid, I'm pretty sure she isn't adding poisonous Green Juice to the cake! She's just being friendly, and not plotting to murder everyone else, I'm sure of it!
After feasting on delicious birthday treats, the party guests were treated to another spectacle watching Gensokyo Island's funniest home videos. All of us had a right good laugh at that nasty rotten enemy of true love, Okuu's Look-alike, when Alice Margatroid did what all islanders have wanted to do at some point and played a naughty prank on her. Well done, Alice, you speak for us all!
Fuuu .... this is the first time I failed to catch the Diamond. Dammit Alice!
And now, on to the focus of today's report, who just happens to be the centre of another breaking news story today. Shinmyoumaru Sukuna, whom I'll be interviewing later, was utterly delighted to hear along with her husband Overlord Laharl of the news of their child's adventures in distant lands.
Vytautas, son and first child of Sukuna and Laharl, wrote back again today from a new place, You&I Island. That's significant because it now makes him Gensokyo Island's most travelled son, the first traveller to have visited four different islands! Wow, I'm sure his parents must be so proud of him for being the first one to reach this milestone. However, I do notice his hair still isn't dyed yet - you've still got a long way to go to get to my level, Vytautas! Keep up the good work, you can do it!
Vytautas reports from You&I Island with a picture with his botanically-inclined friend, Michiko-san.
Following the announcement of this happy news I decided to proceed with my interview with Shinmyoumaru Sukuna, and also to find out how she felt about having been the one to have made this possible for Gensokyo Island. But that in itself was a bit of a tall story.
Y'know, I half-expected her to say something like "One small step for midgets, one giant leap for Gensokyo..." or similar, but she suddenly turned really aggressive and waved an oversized pointy needle at me and cut me short, trying to force me out of her house! She started screaming things like "You're too tall!" and "Seize in the session" or something like that, and when I asked her husband Laharl for help, he agreed with her!
I think she had it up to here with me, cutting them off while they were celebrating a joyful moment together. But heck, that's some short shrift I got from them. Long story short, she wouldn't budge an inch at first, but after a little apology we agreed to meet half-way. So now I have here with me today's biggest scoop, about Gensokyo Island's littlest inhabitant - Shinmyoumaru Sukuna!
Shinmyoumaru Sukuna
All information correct as of 26 January 2015
A (admittedly rather tall) child traveller. An aged up Sukuna. Do the math.
Name: Shinmyoumaru Sukuna
Nickname: Sukuna
Date of Birth: 12th August 2013
Personality: Easygoing Buddy
Favourite Colour: Purple
Quotation: "Sie sin das esen"
Shinmyoumaru Sukuna is the Stage 6 Final Boss character of Touhou 14: Double Dealing Character by Team Shanghai Alice. Based on the fairy tale of Issun-boshi (the Japanese version of Tom Thumb), Sukuna is a member of a race of midgets who has made use of the Miracle Mallet, a magical item from the same story, to enlarge herself to the size of a small child. Like the character from the story, Sukuna also wields a giant needle as a weapon along with the mallet. However, unlike the character from the story, Sukuna is canonically quite naïve at heart, easily fooled by others, and really doesn't want anything more than to be respected.
That being said, like the Sukuna from Touhou canon, Sukuna on Gensokyo Island's most distinctive feature is being miserably short, indeed, as small as Mii maker will possibly allow. However, that's about where the similarities end. Despite my attempts to get her personality as close to canon as possible, being an Easygoing Buddy, Sukuna has taken on a life of her own on Gensokyo Island, and thanks to the nature of the place, inevitably a villainous one as well.
It's hard to blame her, really. Being looked down upon both figuratively and literally for all of her existence, it's not a stretch to think she has a huge grudge against anyone taller than she is, which is to say pretty much all normal people in the world. Conveniently enough, her state of being on Gensokyo Island provides the best possible opportunity to have her vengeance. It was therefore not unexpected that she's somehow evolved into one of the most manipulative and vindictive denizens of the island. Sukuna may be small, but she has a vicious streak a mile wide.
"You must be at least this tall to get married". Not a problem for the Miracle Mallet!
Husband: Overlord Laharl
Best Friend: Shikieiki Yamaxanadu
Children: Vytautas, Samael
Ex-Sweethearts: Armin Arlert
Try to turn your attention away from the seemingly perfect pairing of two extremely short people for a moment. Or rather, consider how it was that her present husband was the one responsible for the blossoming of Sukuna's reputation as a manipulative little wench.
Sukuna has the distinction of being the very first person to dump her previous boyfriend, Armin Arlert, as a result of Overlord Laharl propositioning her. It was quite unfortunate, as I thought Sukuna and Armin were a very cute couple with a common motivation - killing all the titans. I even wrote a song for them to sing together! Unfortunately, it was not to be.
"Why didn't you just tell Laharl not to do it?" you say? Well, then Laharl would be the one ending up depressed, and if Sukuna and Armin's relationship was strong enough she'd reject his advances anyway. However, as it turns out, Sukuna dropped her former boyfriend like a hot potato. Maybe he was too tall for her?
Sukuna's cruel streak showed its teeth when she viciously shot down Recette Lemongrass, ambushing her after she tried to get Laharl to date her and telling her in no uncertain terms to bugger off. Even after her marriage to Laharl, Sukuna continued behaving like a foxy little vixen, with relations between the two staying low for several weeks. Thankfully, with the benefit of hindsight, things turned out all right for both Sukuna and Armin and their respective spouses, but the story of Sukuna's tumultuous love life will be forever etched into my memory, a defining moment in her characterisation.
Vytautas and Samael. They have your X chromosome, Laharl, the rest is all me! Bwahahaha!!!
Food Preferences:
Favourite: Crepe
Okuu's Look-alike Rating - Crepe: Like. Again, it's one of those foods where knowing what exactly it's stuffed with is important. It really depends on the stuffing and the syrup if any, but I guess I wouldn't mind either sweet or savoury crepes. There are some flavours I like, of course, but unless I have more specific information I can't say for sure whether I'll like 'a crepe'.
Song Participation:
Gotta Slay 'em All, Rap, joint-lead singer for The Recon Corps
Um, you can probably guess the subject matter, and also the other lead singer, from the song and band name alone. However, it is most definitely one of my favourite songs that I've ever written, and if I had to pick just one to showcase it would be this one. It's that good.
Dang titans have been playing us like a game all this time! Even the ref is dead, too!
Apartment: Apt. 202
Islander Rating: Borderline Top-Tier
Surely having dumped a boyfriend alone isn't a reason to consider Sukuna a manipulative little schemer, and that would be absolutely right. What drives the point home, however, is Sukuna's bossy and demanding nature, even from one so, well, small. She won't stop kicking up a fuss unless she gets food, presents, and lots and lots of attention, preferably all within a short span of time and with no delay whatsoever.
As a result of this, she's regularly one of the highest-ranked on the Pampered Islanders table, despite being of the second batch of residents, and her level has also overtaken some of her predecessors. This has come despite the lack of an all-time favourite food, also demonstrating that simply knowing what to feed them isn't as important as Miis demanding your attention on a regular basis.
Even with all the marriages solidifying relationships all over the island, Sukuna has yet to really settle into a comfortable rhythm, constantly bickering and making snide comments about other islanders like the little gossip she is. It's just so unexpected, yet strangely fitting for a land as bizarre as Gensokyo Island, that the Alpha Bitch of the whole apartment block happens to be a so-called 'Buddy' who's a midget less than a foot tall. Don't let her lack of height fool you, she'll cut anything and anyone in her way down to size.
That's supposed to be a bowl on her head, or rather the closest hat to one I can find.
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 26th January 2015
Happy 12th Birthday, Youmu Konpaku!
Traveller Updates
Vytautas, son of Shinmyoumaru Sukuna and Overlord Laharl, wrote back from You&I Island! He has visited 4 islands so far!
No comments:
Post a Comment