Don't Worry, Be Happy

... whoa. I just saw Kiba a short while ago and boy, does he look mad. Not mad as in crazy about anime and computer games like he usually is, and also not mad as in angry... more like, say, mad and on the verge of doing something incredibly reckless out of desperation. It's like when someone has been afflicted with an ailment they'll do anything, no matter how dangerous, to be rid of it. 

If we're talking about Kiba, it's kind of difficult to differentiate his "real" life and his online life, so it's probably just that he's been driven into despair by spending way too much time hanging out with Gensokyo Island's wackos like Nozomu Itoshiki. But ah, I natter! Sorry, it's Toritori here with the daily updates, and I'm most definitely not crazy, maniacal, suicidal, or any of those things

For a piece of interesting news that we haven't had in a while, what about this? One of Gensokyo Island's travelling children returned for the first time in several weeks to visit their parents, bringing with them not only the obligatory and questionably named lime-and-mixed-rice-on-a-banana-leaf "Exotic Cuisine" but also a secret message from the ruling overlord of a different island!

Those bug eyes. Today is HAPPY day! Not being HAPPY is punishable by death... by HAPPY!!!

Junichiro, the second child and first son of Reimu Hakurei and Junya Ohta's eight children, dropped in for a surprise visit at his parents' house after evading border security in a chartered speedboat, travelling from ArashiLoVe Island. Perhaps in a sign that Gensokyo Island is not alone in spreading propaganda and dangerous biological weapons, Junichiro also brought an infectious idea of questionable import to the island along with him.

HAPPY!

Um, yes, we thank you happily, Junichiro, and please excuse us if we're happy declining to follow that catchphrase. We're quite happy with the way we are now, so we would be happy if you could happily make your way back to the happy place you came from and be happy there. Happily.

"Happy" doesn't even sound like a word any more. Aah!!! The enemy overlord's plan is taking effect as we speak! Actually, just kidding. Happily, we can mostly ignore excess use of the word "Happy". Happily...

Ugh. Get that out of my head, please. Ah yes. In another rare moment of epiphany, Mokou Fujiwara finally realised that a certain someone had been lusting after her all this while and considered the possibility that things could be otherwise. Unfortunately, she ruined it all immediately by doing one of the most foolish things in existence - asking Okuu's Look-alike for help.

Giving terrible love advice just for the lulz is my specialty, thank you very much!

Unfortunately for Okuu's Look-alike, her victim had enough presence of mind to stifle her outlandish hopes that the star-crossed couple of Mokou and her eternal rival Kaguya Houraisan would set aside their difference and fall in love... heck, forget the setting aside bit, just make out already! Getting out of each other's "friendzone" was only the first step to having that love-hate (or mostly hate-hate, really) relationship of an eternal immortal lifetime. Why settle for just lukewarm love, when you can be happy sharing in the mutual hate blazing with the fire of a thousand phoenixes?

And speaking of making out, ah yes, we mustn't forget the raison d'être of Gensokyo Island and its crazy Maoist philosophy of people power and more population at all costs. Chiyo Mihama and Shikieiki Yamaxanadu, surprising contenders for being the most prolific breeders, today brought forth their seventh child into the world.

Somehow their kids tend to look nearly identical regardless of gender. Opposites attract, but similarities are the dominant genes.

The rather unusually-named Masahito was the lucky seventh child of Chiyo-chan and Shiki Eiki, and also their third son. I'm informed by reliable sources that the name Masahito means something along the lines of "just and honourable", which is perfectly fitting name for the kid of Gensokyo Island's resident Justice of the Peace, and the suggestion was happily accepted by both his parents. But honestly I'll bet that Okuu's Look-alike just thumbed through a list of funky Japanese names and randomly stopped at one of them and came up with an idiot excuse to justify her laziness. 

Maybe Shiki Eiki needs to get her game on and punish the true epitome of dishonesty on this island... or perhaps maybe even the incorruptible can one day fall given the circumstances. What, I'm going to hell for even suspecting that? What, is this some kind of police state or something? Oh yeah... actually, it is.

Even for a police state, though, people can be happy here. And I don't mean happy due to schemes like a state-enforced Happiness Week where failure to be happy is treason. Yeah, the most logical explanation for people being happy here on Gensokyo Island is... that they're the kind of person who's just illogically happy all the time for no adequately explained reason. Like Marisa Kirisame, for example.

It was only a short time ago that Marisa finally achieved that incredible state of being, that sublime, wholly inconceivable phase of one's existence where her body was so utterly suffused with happiness that it was beyond the ability of any scale or measure to ascertain. And mostly certainly it was not from making out with Miko Toyosatomimi, although that may have been a contributory factor.

What does the scouter say about her happiness level? IT"S OVER 99... okay, that doesn't sound as cool.

Yes, according to the official scale readings Marisa's happiness level has reached 99, making her well and truly the "happiest" person on Gensokyo Island, since the scale can't measure any further. Even if her happiness was increased further, most often by feeding her her beloved Peking Duck, the scale noted no further increase than 99. So that's it, that's another measurement on this island that has been well and truly snapped in half. 

Shall we chalk this up as a triumph for Okuu's Look-alike and her mad schemes of psychological and social re-engineering? Or has Marisa been seduced or drugged beyond the ability to feel any emotions other than sheer, unrestrained and undiluted happiness? Or has Marisa been seducing and drugging people in order to fuel her own sheer unrestrained and undiluted happiness? It could be either way, really, it's not like we should be worrying our head over wondering how such a thing came to be.

Just accept it as it is. Don't worry, be happy. And that applies to you too, Kiba!

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 8th April 2015

Traveller Updates

Junichiro returned from ArashiLoVe Island to visit his parents Reimu Hakurei and Junya Ohta! He has visited 3 islands so far.

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 9th April 2015

Children  

Masahito was born to Chiyo Mihama and Shikieiki Yamaxanadu. It's their seventh child! He is an Independent Thinker.