15 April 2015

Sweets to the Sweet

Hey, it's Kiba here. So things have started to quieten down just recently here on Gensokyo Island... hell, no!

If it wasn't already obvious, this place is just an assembly line. A little person assembly line. One kid rolls off the assembly line, another mound of flesh gets dumped on and moulded and twisted by beatings and blowtorches. Don't even think about telling me off for disregarding them - it's not like these mass-produced creatures are anywhere near the complexity of people like me or Toritori. Not until they've set foot on their first foreign island. They're nothing but spam, really.

Shiki Eiki's little samurai Masahito moves out, while a father and child double-up with the baby-making project. With their respective spouses,

Chiyo Mihama and Shikieiki Yamaxanadu, having brought up their seventh child Masahito like a proper paladin, finally packed him off for crusade today by officially giving him the boot. In a metaphorical sense, of course. It's not like we travellers have spare pairs of boots lying around. I don't even know why the kid has a name like that, it makes him sound like some kind of samurai.

But with one child gone, two spring up to fill the gap. The suspiciously narrow interval between Armin Arlert and his daughter Tia Arlert's announcements that their marriages... respectively, of course... would be expecting a new child surely sets tongues wagging. For Armin and his wife Recette Lemongrass, it woul be their sixth child, while for Tia and her husband Tadakichi Mihama, it would be their third. With nary a mention of menopause, it's like fertility's always in full swing here on Gensokyo Island.

Hm? Is there someone looking over my shoulder?

All bad things in the world start with Men. And that's why my husband's a tomboy female firefly.

Oh, it's Kyouko Kasodani who dropped by the studio today. Don't mind her, she's been making that face all day after discovering what a joy Salisbury Steaks can be. 

Which is kinda worrying since she's supposed to be a devout Buddhist by nature, but considering that she's a dog-like creature and also a youkai, whom as a whole are known for munching on people if they get the opportunity, the love-hate relationship with meat is rather unexpected. Oh, and there's also the fact that she finally left the "No Food Preferences" club after being its oldest member, passing the leadership to Margit Ravelli. Well, let's just try to ignore her crazy stare for a moment.

Sometimes, when certain individuals are invited to live on an island, the island's owners make certain assumptions about what they like or dislike, based on what they've read about the prospective resident. Sometimes, these suspicions bear fruit, but more often than not they're left disappointed because said islander ends up liking something else altogether. Desco Kazamatsuri has often spoken of a certain "Mr Valzy" who has a kind of perverse obsession with Sardines, but if this Mr Valzy were to ever move to Gensokyo Island, would he really love them? 

That probably explains why Okuu's Look-alike has been so hesitant to invite anyone whose entire character revolves around an item of food. I guess you can't have your cake and eat it too when it comes to having the perfect islander.

That being said, there are some exceptions that hold true to their expectations...

The two of them look so similar, and they're both short as well! Separated at birth, maybe?

DESCO's husband Mitsukuni Haninozuka found his perfect match today in a special kind of lollipop that just happens to have his best friend Ramza Beoulve's face on it. It's almost like a mirror for him, given their very similar hair styles, colours, and facial expressions. I don't think Ramza was all that chuffed, though, especially after seeing Honey arousingly and seductively smothering his likeness with saliva.

Yes, food is one of those things that gets people here on Gensokyo Island most wound up, and these are just some of the many reasons why. Even Okuu's Look-alike goes mad about food, especially desserts. Just say Banana Split, Candy Apple, or Soft-Serve Ice Cream to her and she goes into a murderous frenzy, wringing the neck of the hapless speaker and demanding "WHERE?! WHERE?!". Like a starved caveman, or maybe the Terminator. Aya caramba!

And Gensokyo Island's residents themselves are no exceptions to having food drive them into a berserk rage. It's pretty obvious no one here has ever heard of the idea of sharing.


The food wars - the deadliest battles ever fought thanks to the lack of knives. There were no survivors. The casualties from famine were immense.

One would hope that all of this conflict would be a thing of the past, with the Food Mart, Morning Market, and Okuu's Look-alike's refrigerator somehow storing beyond infinite amounts of meals, snacks, fruits, desserts, drinks, as well as generally inedible biological weapons, but it's clear that no one will ever learn when it comes to food. But people are people, and after all the only way to get ahead in this world is to take a bite out of someone else's share.

With that being said, some of Gensokyo Island's residents have simply decided to get away from it all by just learning how to do their own cooking. It rarely ends well. That's why we all live off handouts in this wretched soup-kitchen we call Gensokyo Island.

 Um... feed me now?

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 14th April 2015

Children
Masahito, son of Chiyo Mihama and Shikieiki Yamaxanadu, grew up. He was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!

Gensokyo Gourmands
Kyouko Kasodani tried a Salisbury Steak today. It's her All-Time Favourite food!

BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 15th April 2015

Children
Tia Arlert announced that she was pregnant with her and Tadakichi Mihama's third child!
Armin Arlert announced that his wife Recette Lemongrass was pregnant with their sixth child!    

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