It feels awfully strange to be able to write this report at our own leisure but our (temporary) boss Aya Shameimaru just recently said to us that she "trusted" us to be able to handle things on our own as we've worked for her for over two months now. I'm not sure how much trust really has to do with it, considering that she seemed kinda distracted with her passion of voyeuristically intruding on other people's lives as well as those Tiger brand Hot Dogs, but... yeah, okay, come up with something of our own to write for once. As long as something gets written, that is.
Um... this is actually a little harder than I expected. I suppose I could write about the characteristics of one of Gensokyo Island's most notable residents...
Those times when a news report is just so in-character you have to save it for posterity. It's just the pyjamas that's wrongly coloured.
Or maybe not. When I think of someone's most distinctive characteristics, I can only really point out something that's immediately obvious to any observer. I suppose I need a hint on what to look out for, specifically, or a lead about a hidden side of them which I can investigate further.
Hmm... what else would we look at every day that's common and yet not exactly easily reproducible. It's probably not the case to us travellers, but to the residents of Gensokyo Island, one of the most everyday events is the bringing forth of a new child into this world. Let's see, do we have something on the files here?
Weirdest name ever for a kid with a cute face and round baby-doll eyes, but hey, everyone begins somewhere embarrassing.
Desco Kazamatsuri and Mitsukuni Haninozuka were celebrating the birth of their third child and second son, and were overjoyed to be able to quickly decide on the name... Bruce. Wait, what? That's the weirdest name for a kid ever, I mean, the kind of imagery it conjures up. Have you ever met a kid named Bruce? It must be pretty embarrassing for them. Not to mention, his siblings are both some kind of horrible interdimensional monsters and he's just... Bruce. Well, I'm sure anyone's childhood would be interesting if their mom was a vicious horned betentacled monster as well.
Oh yes, and of course, speaking of everyday matters, today was like any other day with the daily baby report being followed by more rumpy-pumpy in the bedrooms to ensure that we'll still be talking about babies in the near future. Let me show you the lucky couples who've reported the results of their baby-seeking endeavours.
Wriggle's preparing to welcome another squirming little maggot, while Shanghai's got a new doll in the knitting.
Wriggle Nightbug and her wife Kyouko Kasodani made plans to join the Big Eight club, breeding like fruitflies, or rather fireflies. In contrast, Shanghai Margatroid and her husband Kanako Yasaka will be expecting their fourth - is it just me, or have the latter been exceedingly productive as of the past week or so? All that horizontal action all night long... wait, you don't know? Of course you need some horizontal action in order to shave those bonito flakes which you use to attract the stork that brings babies, like, duh. Doesn't everyone know that?
Well, that's not actually news. I've never even seen a stork around here yet... or even a bonito. What's a bonito, anyway? I have no idea what it is, it's brown, and hard, and seems to be made of meat, and it smells like fish. Um... uh, yeah. So, you know what else smells like fish? The sea, of course, since fish live there, and thus the smell of the fish causes the sea to get stinky and...
Somehow I don't think that argument really makes sense. I've never been all that good in the reasoning department - that's why I'm actually quite happy with Aya deciding what she wants from us for our reports. But one thing that is familiar to all of us travellers, and indeed it should be to every islander since we're surrounded by it, is the smell of fish... I mean, the sea. And who should drop by just earlier but one of Gensokyo Island's newly blooded travellers, Kenji, with the fresh odour of sea... I mean fish about him?
Look at the size of that noggin. It's even bigger than a square plate with a banana leaf on it. His head's so big, it's making headlines!
Kenji, the first child of Youmu Konpaku and Drake Kitazawa, returned from Mike Island (pronounced Me-kay, not Maik) to drop by his parents' home. While it may have only been his first island visited, he looked absolutely chuffed. Just look at the size of that smile on his face! Or rather, maybe it's because it's his face which is huge which is why he has a big smile. It's times like this when I don't regret being a little on the plump side, because at least I've got the body mass to support my head on my shoulders.
So... how was it? My first try at doing an original take on what would normally be everyday matters. Uh... it's a little awkward if I'd say so myself, it's a lot easier if someone else could do the planning for me. Thinking really hard, coming up with ideas... even the words for the situation, has never been my forte. I guess that's why I'm lucky to have a brainy fellow like Kiba, for all his indulgences and obsessions, here sharing the workload with me.
Now, if I could just get him to take on this next interview project we've got lined up over the next couple of days...
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 12th April 2015
Traveller Updates
Kenji returned from Mike Island to visit his parents Youmu Konpaku and Drake Kitazawa! He has visited 1 island so far.
Children
Bruce was born to Desco Kazamatsuri and Mitsukuni Haninozuka. It's their third child! He is a Confident Adventurer.
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 13th April 2015
Children
Wriggle Nightbug announced that her wife Kyouko Kasodani was pregnant with their eighth child!
Shanghai Margatroid announced that she was pregnant with her and Kanako Yasaka's fourth child!
No comments:
Post a Comment