I was feeling a little empty since that last update... indeed, I feel like this piss has been taken from me all this while. Most certainly not a comforting feeling at all. It was almost a relief when my temporary boss Aya Shameimaru, being her usual nutty, crazy self, ran up to me and gave me an assignment to tail the subject of our next interview, a certain mercenary who's a graduate of a military academy, with a location provided as a lead.
Since it's kinda hard to pick out one specific trained killer from another among the cast of maniacs living here on Gensokyo Island, it was natural for me to follow this clue. But I think I must have made a mistake somewhere. Heading to the designated location, a conference hall, I was surprised to find... a birthday party? For the former ecoterrorist turned friendly neighbourhood guy Archibald Aqua?
I'm pretty sure he isn't actually 19 years old, but when I don't have a lead about how old they are I set it to the minimum.
Ah... maybe there must have been a mistake somewhere. Archie might have been a former bad guy, but he most certainly isn't the type to pay much heed to school, never mind graduate from an academy. All the same, I decided to watch him closely for the day in case there were more dark secrets he may reveal ... apart from almost drowning entire communities by summoning Kyogre in his villain past, of course. And that isn't secret at all.
Surrounded by his wife, posh and pampered Margit Ravelli, his terminally depressed youkai best friend Kyouko Kasodani (in the ridiculous mask), and behind him... hmm, two known trained killers in the persons of Yuuka Kazami and Aliasse Foerster. But they've already been interviewed, so it couldn't be them. Maybe Archie does have a kind of dark past... but at least for today, he looked the very picture of joy.
Perhaps there were more reasons for that satisfied smile of his... oh, yes. This afternoon, another mail ship pulled up with a special delivery for Archie and Margit. Who was it from this time? I decided to investigate further...
Wow, it's been a while, the last place we heard from him was the dreaded Streetpass Relay Point Purgatory. It's good to know he's alive.
Drake, the first child of Archie and Margit (and bearing no relation to Drake Kitazawa) had written back for the first time in over three months, bringing much happiness to his parents. In particular, Archie was especially proud that his son was growing up to be a mighty man of the sea, as much of a macho man as his father. After all, if you're going West in the Navy, you don't want to just look like another of those village people from the YMCA.
Along with the letter, however, Archie also received a giant crate containing something which Drake promised his father would greatly love. Hmm, what was that? A legendary Pokémon? I tailed Archie as he smuggled the crate out to the common area in front of the fountain, emptied its contents, and overturned it to set up a stall. It was... oh wow! A metaphorical, heck, it might have been a literal gold mine for Archie and family!
Welcome to Tomodachi Life, a strange land where everyone loves Caviar. For some bloody weird reason.
Is that fish poop? No, it's Caviar! Wow! Said to be worth as much, or more than its weight in gold... and Archie was rolling in piles of the stuff. It was no surprise, then, that Okuu's Look-alike, the unscrupulous dictator-for-life of Gensokyo Island, quickly noticed the massive profit Archie was racking up and offered to clean out his entire stock in return for, uh, a little compensation. That compensation being the permission to retain the use of his limbs.
A short while later, Archie headed off home, a little glum that his enterprise had ended but not too much the worse for wear - indeed, Okuu's Look-alike had (unusually) honoured her promise and paid Archie half the market price for as much Caviar as she could carry. There was so much of it that even after bribing... I mean, giving generous gifts to the islanders who supported her dictatorship, she returned to gather more to stockpile for the inevitable nuclear catastrophe. So it was a profit of sorts for both parties, after all.
Archie was so "happy" at being relieved of his fountain of gold that he headed for the apartment of his downstairs neighbour, the tiger youkai Shou Toramaru, and engaged her in some friendly training. And by training I mean hurling objects at her at high velocities, and also practicing dodging them.
Fight scenes like these are the best. The item struggle is funny but gets old real fast, while the bear is... well... it's just stupid.
Clearly, Archie must have left all of his strength and finesse behind him when he stopped being a villain, because Shou quickly got the better of him. His energy drained, he retreated to his apartment to rest and recharge, and mourn his defeat. In fact, he was so tired, he summoned his own personal raincloud to relieve his stress and pain, Okuu's Look-alike dropped by to taunt him... I mean offer him a bit of the Caviar he had shared with her, but it was not enough to snap Archie out of his funk.
Given the circumstances, it became awkwardly clear that Archie wasn't the person I was supposed to be interviewing all this time, but it did give me a chuckle seeing his triumphs collapse into troubles over the course of a day. What? No, I'm not sadistic, I'm not taking joy from schadenfreude... rather, I'm hoping this will distract him into forgetting to change his IP address for his laptop so I can... wait, that's none of your business.
Well, that's all I have to say for today... well, there was some other news as well. Things like kids growing up, babies being born... but who cares about that? Every day it's babies, babies, babies, it's driving me up the wall. I'll just slap the photographs and stuff down here and you can process it yourselves. I'd have more interest in a pile of fish poop than I would in more of this nonsense about babies here on Gensokyo Island.
On the left, Armin and Recette's daughter Prima, and Honey and DESCO's son Mothra.
On the right, Alice and Kyubey's daughter Louise, and Murasa contemplates some deepspawn.
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 2nd April 2015
Island Updates (Population 61)
Please welcome Mothra Kazamatsuri, the newest resident of Gensokyo Island! He is an Outgoing Entertainer.
Children
Louise was born to Alice Margatroid and Kyubey Incubator. It's their fifth child! She is a Confident Designer.
Prima, daughter of Recette Lemongrass and Armin Arlert, grew up. She was made to leave Gensokyo Island and become a traveller!
Mothra, son of Desco Kazamatsuri and Mitsukuni Haninozuka, grew up. He was invited to move into an apartment on Gensokyo Island!
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 3rd April 2015
Happy 19th (?) Birthday, Archibald Aqua!
Traveller Updates
Drake, son of Aliasse Foerster and Minamitsu Murasa, wrote back from Coconut Island! He has visited 2 islands so far.
Children
Minamitsu Murasa announced that her wife Aliasse Foerster was pregnant with their fifth child!
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