Ugh, what is it now? Pulling me away from my games... and Lunatic Princess finally invited me into her guild to launch a raid too! This had better be worth it, Toritori, and that means it better not be about some stupid babies again!
No, of course not! Don't worry, we've been friends long enough that I know you're utterly ticked off by the mention of babies. Yeah, there actually were some updates on that part, but I took care of them for you.
The buggery is strong in this one.
So Kyouko Kasodani and Wriggle Nightbug finally had their eighth child, Hibachi, after what seemed like an incredibly long wait. Okuu's Look-alike got kinda suspicious over how long it took, and did a bit of investigating... and it turns out that there's been some kind of dark, limiting force affecting activity on the island. As a result of that, we'll have to take some extreme measures in the near future that might.... Kiba, are you listening?
... gosh darn that stupid NEET, asking me to give her my password so someone else can play my character for me, how dumb does she think I... oh. Yeah, I heard you. Totally. Another stupid baby. I mean, it's been a while, but the less of 'em the better I'd say.
Uh, yeah. It's not actually that simple, but anyway, Kiba, are you ready for the special assignment? Aya Shameimaru's even issued us with special equipment for this top priority mission - power zoom lenses, voice recorders, wireless communication devices, ninja outfits...
Wait, what? I thought those were black pyjamas... oh, I think I get it now. When you put it that way, I'm actually starting to get interested, and a little excited, about this mission...
Fufufu... this is going to be great fun. Perhaps the most fun I've ever had since I arrived on Gensokyo Island. All right Kiba, I'll take the lead, and you keep watch...
ONE OF US!!! ONE OF US!!!
Agent T here, reporting... the mark has landed. The mark has landed. Agent K, do you read?
Yes, Toritori, I know, I can see him from the vantage point on the cliff... just gotta zoom in for the perfect shot, and... done. And you can probably cut out this secret agent business, the poor sap doesn't even know who you are.
Hehehe... he will soon, though! Ah, he just walked past... he seems awfully clean for a traveller. Doesn't smell all that bad, too. Although to be honest, I think most people would smell of flowers compared to this dingy port all clammy with the smell of dead fish and dried piss.
What's he doing? Turning to look at you? Stay low, don't draw attention to yourself!
No, it's fine, looks like he was just about to cough for a moment. Or maybe vomit, it must be the smell that's making him sick already, or perhaps the sight of ragged excuses for travellers huddled under newspapers and cardboard for shelter. Looks like he can't wait to get away... he's heading for the immigration office now.
Alright. On to the next part of the plan... let's meet up at the overlook near the campground. And don't forget to sneak a copy of his biodata from the office once Okuu's Look-alike is done with him.
Sneaking won't really be necessary, we can just ask for it. Information security just so happens to be conveniently light regarding such matters. All right, on to Phase B!
So his name's Yugen... is that just 12 travel days? And it's his fourth island visited already? Hmhmhm... I smell a hopeful soul just waiting to be crushed.
Agent K, this is Agent T. I'm monitoring the entrance, have you got the internal camera set up already?
Yes, yes, I've already done it. The feed is coming in just fine. The sucker didn't even notice a little worm poking its head into the corner of his tent. He's so naïve... we'll capture everything this way. Ah... there's some feed coming in already.
Great! Oh... I see Okuu's Look-alike heading this way to present our new guest with his welcome package. Ugh, I can smell the fish poop from here already... I can't believe I was so hungry I ever ate that stuff. But all that's in the past, now we're the ones in charge.
Shush, Toritori. Quick, get that camera snapping. We've got to get those blackmail photos right before Okuu's Look-alike turns everything upside down.
I'm on it! I'm on it... Clickety, click, new face! Smile for the birdie!
Smile, you're on candid camera... actually don't smile. You look even more compromising that way.
Hehehe, Agent K, this is just wonderful, I can't stop ... ehehe... I even got those pics of him climbing into the makeshift bath. Hehe... hehehehehe... so cute...
Toritori, are you all right? You're awfully giggly.. don't tell me you managed to see...
Hehehe, you bet I did. It's so small, and so cute, and furry, and wrinkly...
Gulp... really, you can spare me the description, Toritori...
And he was cuddling it, and nibbling it, and pressing it in his face, and...
What???
It's so adorable, it's just like what I used to do with my Mr. Fluffybearikins. Or Legal Tedder, as I have to call him now.
Uh... well, whatever. I'm glad I got the wrong impression...
Oh, and I also got those pics of him taking off his pants, too! Such a beautiful shot of those naughty bits that strangers shouldn't be seeing. Too bad Aya Shameimaru won't let us use those, it's a family-friendly newspaper she's running, after all, but it's still good for blackmail. I sure did well for a beginner, didn't I, Kiba?
Oh ... I ... I need a vomit ... *gag* ...
Kiba? Are you still there? Kiba???
Everything seems normal apart from the terrible niff. Must've been coming from that weird food you brought. What, you're not worried? Hmm...
Ugh, sorry about that, I just needed to... um, wash my brain out with soap a bit. Specifically washing out the part where I ever imagined that Toritori was a pure and innocent girl.
What's that you said? Agent K, stop joking around, are you getting the video and audio feed in that laptop of yours?
Ahem, yes yes, I'm recording it. So, this new guy, Yugen as his name is, seems like a pretty well-off kid. Simple, innocent, pampered, and really ignorant of the ways of the world. I mean, if these data logs are anything to go by, he just left his parents' embrace less than a fortnight ago!
A fortnight? Flippin'... we've been on this island for twice that! Three times or more, in fact. And those other travellers rotting down there at the port, even longer! Sounds like this Yugen guy has just had a charmed life so far.
Ah, don't worry about it, Toritori. I have a bad feeling that our new friend here is going to learn about the real world soon. The hard and painful way.
Oh? Why do you say that? I mean, apart from being stuck here on Gensokyo Island with the rest of us, that is?
The poor sucker just mouthed off Okuu's Look-alike that he isn't worried about what happens next. That's just asking for it...
Gensokyo Island, abusing travellers in every way possible since... since whenever, really.
Hey, Kiba, do you remember, when we were new, and we had to go through all this pranking and beating and hazing and all sorts of abuse? It was horrible, don't you remember?
Yeah, I agree. Just seeing Okuu's Look-alike taking it out on him brings everything back, almost like it was yesterday...
Ah, I know we junior reporters are supposed to be impartial in what we do, but... I can't help feeling sorry for the new guy too. But you know what, Kiba? There's more to all this maltreatment than it looks.
Really, Toritori? You think so?
Yeah. Y'know, after enduring all that, and living for so long on Gensokyo Island like a second home, with all its trials and ordeals. We've changed, Kiba, you and I. I know that I'll never be the way I once was. I'll never be the same. I've changed.
Hmm... perhaps. How so, Toritori?
Well, for starters... just watching the new guy, being abused like that, I can feel how I've changed. Because now I think...
...
I think it's bloody hilarious!
... you're right!
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 19th April 2015
Traveller Updates
A boat from Nono Island arrived. Yugen of Zoku Makaron Island alighted, Cubey departed.
Children
Hibachi was born to Kyouko Kasodani and Wriggle Nightbug. It's their eighth child! He is a Confident Adventurer.
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