...what's so funny, Toritori? The new guy?
No, just practicing my silly laughs. Rich boy's actually done pretty well, considering his lack of experience as well as backbone. It was quite brave of him to saunter right up to the tent of that temporally-displaced arrival and take a few snaps, after all.
Is that so? Now I'm curious, let me take a look at what he brought in...
Before you do, Kiba, I want you to answer me one question. You know how way back when we first met, you used to think that I was kinda boyish, y'know, not really girly at all?
Wha... yeah, I know, but I mean, how is this even related to...
So what would you think of the beauty in these pictures here? I mean, it's impossible to deny from her appearance that she's one hundred percent feminine, after all.
I know you shouldn't judge people by their appearance, but... who the hell had a kid that looked like this? Nosferatu and Elphaba???
... kyaaaa!!! ...
I guessed as much. Typical men, always judging us by our looks.
.... b... but I mean, is that really a kid? A kid like us? Come on! She looks like the freakin' Wicked Witch of the West right there!
Yes, on that point, some of the brightest minds on Gensokyo Island have been analysing the evidence and constructing a theory as to why things ended out this way. How is it that an ordinary child seems to have aged decades, if not a whole century.
It's the temporal displacement, isn't it? I mean, it's not 4/20 any more, so it can't be due to excess drug use. Ripping a hole in the fabric of time must have done... something! Something so outrageous it defies explanation.
Yes, you've got the gist of it. It's hard to explain, but apparently the theory was floating around that the recent stasis on Gensokyo Island before last weekend was due to, uh, some sort of temporal drain on the energy levels of the residents here. Time seemed to lose its impact, while at the same time islanders' vitality, the capability for independent thought, even, seemed to be slowly sapped away.
Some sort of temporal flux? Perhaps it's feedback from that previous incident I remember reading something about that in the old files. Apparently the results were disastrous - it led to an implied massacre of travellers, to the extent where Okuu's Look-alike was chewed out over it and publicly expressed regret at authorising such an experiment.
And yet it now seems that Okuu's Look-alike has resorted to the same desperate measures. It's almost as if we're striking back at the past, at alternate realities across different dimensions, retaliating for how they have spited Gensokyo Island for its crimes. Or perhaps it's merely the release of an intradimensional tension that has long been building.
But who should pay the price? Those poor suckers down at the docks who were shipped across time and space to ephemeral realities that have now winked out of existence. And victims like this poor... person, riven and twisted by the ravages of distorted time.
Even so, it's impossible to deny the beneficial effect on Gensokyo Island and its residents. Suddenly everyone... everything seems to have sprung to life again. The recent overdue pregnancies, thought to have terminated in miscarriage, have finally resulted in childbirth but far later than any reasonable estimate. And even our own boss Aya Shameimaru has been taken by an attack of the... Tiger brand Hot Dogs.
Yes, Tabitha and Salvatore are both girls, Bertrand's worried look betrays foreknowledge of his fate, and Aya's heart blends in with modern art.
I know I really can't stand babies, but... truth be told, I was starting to wonder why none of them showed up for almost a week. Something must have gone very wrong...
It isn't just that. Parents who had been holding out on sending their children off to be travellers were finally availed of the opportunity... perhaps aware of the horrific state of overcrowding at the port, although that has never been an obstacle previously. No doubt something else must have been driving these abrupt stops and starts in activity..
Yuriko has a haistyle just like her mom Youmu, while Bruce distinguishes himself from potential Australian and Scottish counterparts.
And all this was due to the temporal flux, draining vitality itself from Gensokyo Island's residents. And yet the two of us weren't affected?
It's hard to tell, Kiba. Chances are it's not as fatal or overwhelming as one would imagine it could be, but perhaps it has yet to run its course. The gibbering wreck that Yugen has been left as a result of his experiences on the first day on the job are a testament to it. And yet, like the experience of that new traveller Layla, it may be possible to pass directly through the temporal barrier and emerge on the other end not unscathed, but alive at least.
And what of all those guys at the port? I mean, I don't identify with them or anything, but it's just jarring to think that they might all have died...
On the contrary, we have in fact received evidence they might still be alive. These letters are proof...
They should rename that place Schrödinger's Island, because it's impossible to say for sure whether anyone there's alive or dead.
Italy? Where's that? And if the group of them were cast across time and space, how exactly could we have received a letter from them? Unless...
Unless the temporal distortion has yet to properly conclude, and seal each respective island back in its own position in time. Which means we may have yet to experience the end of these anomalies afflicting Gensokyo Island due to this rubber band-like snap back in time.
So we should be prepared for more aftershocks to come. Ugh, rich kid isn't going to like hearing that when he finally wakes up from his concussion.
Trust me, Kiba, if we didn't knock him out beforehand he'd have already gone off the deep end by now. It's our job as junior reports, as the Scully and Mulder of Gensokyo Island to anticipate these abnormal events, experience them, neutralise their aftereffects, and repackage them into a form easily consumable by the average resident without descending into a gibbering wreck of insanity.
On that last point, Toritori... I fear we may already be too late.
Egad! What the heck is with Mister Kimura's eyes? Kanako Yasaka awakens to the grim reality that is knowing the unknowable truth.
And just one more point, Toritori.
What is it, Kiba?
Are we going to invite that new, uh, traveller to join us at the Bunbunmaru junior reporters' bureau?
Do you really want to? If I were you I'd... leave it up to Aya Shameimaru, when she returns from her maternity leave. Because I wouldn't want to be responsible for any eldritch outcomes.
And neither do I.
BUNBUNMARU UPDATES, 21st April 2015
Traveller Updates
Samael, son of Shinmyoumaru Sukuna and Overlord Laharl, wrote back from Streetpass Relay Point Island! He has visited 0 islands so far.
Rafa, daughter of Margit Ravelli and Archibald Aqua, wrote back from Streetpass Relay Point Island! She has visited 0 islands so far.
Gensokyo Gourmands
Kanako Yasaka tried an Espresso today. She thought it was the Worst!
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